Anonymous wrote:Can I hijack just to ask how do you take a screen shot? Thanks.

On the iphone you push the center bottom button and the top right power button at the same time.

Can I hijack just to ask how do you take a screen shot? Thanks.

No, no, don't confront yet. Did you take screen shots of this text and email them to yourself?

He will delete evidence, and if you confront without it in your OWN hands, he will bury the evidence and become even harder to catch. He will lie, lie, lie until you have evidence. And even then he will deny.

Lay low, gather evidence.

Anonymous wrote:He sent the "love you" text, not the former colleague, PP.

You know he's cheating. Lie to anyone else, but dont lie to yourself. At the very least, start putting some money to the side and getting your ducks in a row.

Also, keep in mind that mentioning the texts means he will change his password again and you wont have access. So if you're not going to do anything other than accuse, dont bother.

Oh gosh, I am that PP and just went and reread... it was him, I see now.

Yeah OP your husband's cheating. Confront him and figure out the extent of this.

Anonymous wrote:You two need to spend some time alone (without kids) and have an honest discussion. You could do two things: tell him the truth, about what you found and your concerns, OR, you can tell him that he seems distant lately and you're concerned that he's not happy in your relationship. You know your dynamics better; but regardless, I would definitely interpret that as 'i miss you and i am still in love with you', probably sent while he's drunk unless he's a rotten speller/texter.

This is well-intentioned, but cheaters lie. Trying to have an open and honest conversation is impossible.

OP, I am sorry. He is cheating.

He sent the "love you" text, not the former colleague, PP.

You know he's cheating. Lie to anyone else, but dont lie to yourself. At the very least, start putting some money to the side and getting your ducks in a row.

Also, keep in mind that mentioning the texts means he will change his password again and you wont have access. So if you're not going to do anything other than accuse, dont bother.

Did he respond to that text? Sounds like a drunk text to me, there's so many typos. Could be the former coworker had a crush on him and he chose not to respond. Or it could be he's cheating. All I know is in your shoes, I wouldn't keep quiet about it. I'd start asking questions and figure out what the hell was going on. Texts like that have no place on a married man's phone.

OP,

+ Married men do not send Happy Valentine's Day texts to colleagues, past or present. Or to anyone except their wife or mother or grandmother!

+ You feel like a shrew asking him to do chores, while he returns from a work trip and texts a colleague all the time. If he has time to text a colleague, he has time to do chores.

Why are you so convinced he's not cheating?

Wow, I'd be furious. Who cares how you found the text...not an issue in my book. I wouldn't even explain how I found it and he'd wouldn't dare ask how....a non issue....look what he wrote!

Anonymous wrote:Yeah that sounds like he's cheating on you. Tell him your 2 year old found it somehow. Be frank and direct. Sorry

Lying about its discovery is not frank and direct.

The fact that she was snooping is evidence enough the marriage is in serious trouble. She should own that.

My interpretation of it is "call a lawyer"
And take a screen shot of it and the # he texted it to
Get online and check his text message/call message history to this #
You need to really clearly think if this is a marriage you want to stay in and find out if he wants to stay in it too

Yeah that sounds like he's cheating on you. Tell him your 2 year old found it somehow. Be frank and direct. Sorry

You two need to spend some time alone (without kids) and have an honest discussion. You could do two things: tell him the truth, about what you found and your concerns, OR, you can tell him that he seems distant lately and you're concerned that he's not happy in your relationship. You know your dynamics better; but regardless, I would definitely interpret that as 'i miss you and i am still in love with you', probably sent while he's drunk unless he's a rotten speller/texter.

Sounds like he's fucking someone else, sorry.

"You miss you and still in live with you"

I would read this as "I miss you and am still in love with you"... or is there a reasonable auto correct error I'm not considering?

I found this on my husband's cell phone, send by him to an old co-worker. Yes, yes, I shouldn't have snooped... But he changed the password on his cellphone last month and refused to tell it to me; our two year old loves playing games on the iphone, so it's weird he won't tell me since he'd told me his old one when he got the phone, I never asked. This all coincided with him going on a work trip with a new co-worker, and coming back raving about her and texting with her all the time.

So, I had a chance to look at his messages very briefly and spied, thinking I would find nothing. But then I find the text from his old co-worker, as a response to her texting him "Happy Valentine's Day"... I casually brought up if he's heard from her lately, and he said no. So, either he's lying or he's possibly kept a message from last year, which would also be odd seeing as he didn't have many messages saved.

Thoughts? Just leave it alone? We have two kids under two years old and our relationship is rather like grumpy, roommates right now and I already feel like the shrew asking him to pitch in with chores. I'm sure adding spying would go over really well. I don't think he's cheating. It's kind of hard not to be hurt if he's telling other women he loves them, though.