Anonymous wrote:Dads in sexless marriages - find a mom in a sexless marriage.

If only if it were that easy or logical.

Dads in sexless marriages - find a mom in a sexless marriage.

We've been promised that image of perfect life, perfect marriage, etc. it rarely happens that way. Have you tried counseling? Asking why not? Etc.? I'm sorry you are in this, I am. I know it sucks. But no, I wouldn't give up daily contact with my kids for sex. At least not until they are much older.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:01 here...I'm talking to 18:31 and 19:28.

I'm not maligning the monk posters.

Why over the line? If two people cn't get along or don't want to, that's not a good model for children is it? The priest thing was a joke, get over it.

I'm the first "monk" -- the sexless part is separate from the getting along part. We actually get along well enough. There's just no sex. I'm sure this is difficult for some people to grasp, but it does exist. It perplexes me. I've tried a variety of techniques: I've asked hinted, asked straight out, pleaded once or twice, but it just doesn't happen. Two or three times a year, with the lights out and a grudging "I guess we'd better do it" remark or two kind of makes you give up after a while.

Here's the thing, though: An affair is still a marriage killer. So, if you are a dad with normal needs and you genuinely love your kids and want to see them daily, what are you supposed to do? I'm too risk-averse to get some on the side and, frankly, I don't have enough energy to do that either. I'm no good at lying, and I can't afford a divorce, monetarily or emotionally.

So, I'm trapped. It's not fair, I know. So, what am I supposed to do? Disrupt everything because I don't get any?

That's why I said I'm basically a monk. It's not a willing vow of celibacy, but... it's still celibacy.

Anonymous wrote:20:01 here...I'm talking to 18:31 and 19:28.

I'm not maligning the monk posters.

Why over the line? If two people cn't get along or don't want to, that's not a good model for children is it? The priest thing was a joke, get over it.

20:01 here...I'm talking to 18:31 and 19:28.

I'm not maligning the monk posters.

Come on, PPs, that's over the line.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a very involved dad. Access to my kids is the only reason I stay in my sexless marriage. I might as well be a monk.

+1

+2

Wow. I'm a happily married DW in a healthy marriage and this thread makes me so sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a very involved dad. Access to my kids is the only reason I stay in my sexless marriage. I might as well be a monk.

I'm considering becoming a priest, they get more action.

Only if you like little boys...

Anonymous wrote:I am a very involved dad. Access to my kids is the only reason I stay in my sexless marriage. I might as well be a monk.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I am a very involved dad. Access to my kids is the only reason I stay in my sexless marriage. I might as well be a monk.

I'm considering becoming a priest, they get more action.

I am a very involved dad. Access to my kids is the only reason I stay in my sexless marriage. I might as well be a monk.

Yes, if the marriage was toxic and it was best for the children.

This forum is interesting because it appears to have viewpoints from both sides of the relationship...

There is a long thread on "Would you leave your husband if... ". Why don't we see what people say about the other situation... "Would you leave your wife if...." or from the other perspective... "I would expect my husband to leave if..."

I am married with 2 younger kids that I love very much. They are very special to me. I help get them ready in the morning for school and get them ready for bed at night.

As a dad, if I was to leave... My wife is a SAHM and I would not get custody... So both my kids and I would loose our daily routine and a lot dad time.

It would take a lot in order for me to give that up.

What about everyone else?