When I lose my cool, I usually end up yelling (I don't mean screaming obscenities in their face, I mean yelling at them to stop hitting each other after the 5th time). Sometimes I grab my 3 yr olds arms (at her side) to get her to look at me and I glare at her. I have spanked on the bottom or hand on occasion but that is rare and not the same times as when I lose my cool--also not hard.

IMO a spank on the bottom or on the hand as punishment or when you lose your cool once in a while doesn't mean you are a horrible child abusing parent. Though I know there are many who disagree and would point out the slippery slope. Just my 2 cents.

Growing up in a house where my mother didn't spare the rod, my biggest fear is raising my kids to be afraid of me. So whenever I get the urge to yell or hit, I just remember that I don't want DCs to be afraid of me, and I temper my rage. Which is not to say I let them get away with murder, just that not every infraction warrants a yelling, hitting match.

Yeah. My 18 month old is taking massive, messy poops these days, and will.not.lay.still. I have come so close to smacking his butt. I haven't, as I remind myself that poop is gross but washable.

Anonymous wrote:Like PPs, I get the urge, the rage rush, etc. I haven;t hit her, but I've yelled a few times in a way that made me feel awful afterwards. Having had a mother who both yelled (cruelly) and hit, I don't think either one is preferable.

Same here. I yell more than I'd like to admit, but I know I need to stop. My son (4 yrs old) told me it scrares him when I yell That's enough for me to try and be better about yelling. So time-outs when I feel the urge to yell. He goes to a corner for whatever he did, and I get a chance to cool down.

I've felt the urge and envisioned it but I know better, have never even been rough with DS. Kids can make us crazy. For what it's worth, I was spanked as a child, and I don't think that there were any harmful consequences, but the PP's responses make me think that the only reason I had that urge was because I was hit.

I've never gotten the urge to hit, but I def. have gotten the urge to YELL. Loud. And in an inappropriate way. I know that's not okay, though, and check myself, try to exhale, walk away, cool off, etc. You are human, and kids can be very frustrating sometimes.

Like PPs, I get the urge, the rage rush, etc. I haven;t hit her, but I've yelled a few times in a way that made me feel awful afterwards. Having had a mother who both yelled (cruelly) and hit, I don't think either one is preferable.

Anonymous wrote:if you feel that you probably were hit as a child right? Control it, you know better.

NP here. I was spanked just once as a child.

When my DS was born I had PPD and I wanted to hit my 2.5 yr DD when she was acting out or waking her brother. I felt AWFUL about even having those feelings. I did squeeze her arm really hard once and it did nothing at all to stop her wailing (I was worried she would wake him up) and I knew that physical punishment is not worth it.

OP--are you going through a hard time with your life? When you have the urge to hit your child, what else is happening? Are you scared of something else happening at the same time?

Sort of, I can feel myself get a rush of adrenaline, grit my teeth and have the urge to hit SOMETHING. I've never hit though. Nor "spanked" or anything like that. It usually happens when they are throwing an out of control tantrum and accidentally punch me in the nose or something. It's like your patience is DING! gone, just like that. I usually just literally set them down angrily but not forcefully and walk away.

Yes, OP. I think it's really frustrating to deal with kids sometimes, and just because you imagine doing it doesn't mean you would do it. Some people have the patience of saints, but the rest of us stumble sometimes. Deep breaths, and hang on to the thought that they won't be young forever, so try to savor as much as you can.

I smacked my kid's bottom for messing with the dog in an inappropriate way. I'd rather a smack than a bite. Now he knows better.

if you feel that you probably were hit as a child right? Control it, you know better.

I've grabbed DC's wrist and squeezed. Another time, I yanked her arm. I feel so horrible about it. My DH never ever loses hi cool. I don't know why I can't be like him.

Yes, it does. I've slapped her hand out of frustration (she's in the smacking/hitting me in the face phase). I wouldn't hit her in any other context, and spanking isn't even on my radar. But in that moment, I hit her on her hand. It's kept me up at nights to be honest.

We don't spank in our household (or use any form of corporal punishment), but sometimes, I really, really feel like hitting my DC. I even picture myself doing it in my head. I've not actually done it (yet). But it scares me that I visualize it, and it scares me that I can feel so angry and frustrated with DC that I visualize doing it. Does this happen to anyone else?