You might want to look for someone with a background in childhood trauma and who uses techniques like EMDR. I've heard Kris Halstead is very good but she is in Bethesda. You might give her a call and see if she could suggest someone. A lot of people who do EMDR take insurance, you might want to try someone in network. Someone with a background in attachment issues could also be really helpful to you. I saw someone in another state and the therapy focused on processing the experience and learning in a sense how to reparent myself so that I was able to have healthy secure attachments. Children of narcissits often have avoidant attachments. It took about a year but it was so worth it, it has improved my marriage and enabled me to be a really emotionally connected mom. It sounds like you have had a tough time, good for you for taking care of yourself in a way that your parents might not have been able to.