You all notice that the OP never says that the spouse spends three hours in the kitchen, just that it takes too long for the spouse to make dinner. Three hours of cooking isn't out of the relm of possibility to do prep work, staggering start times to ensure that everything is done at about the same time and cleaning up as you go, depending on what is being made.

If the one parent likes doing something that means the other parent becomes responsible for all the childcare, the parent handling the kids gets to raise the issue (If you want to spend 3 hours cooking, I am going to spend 3 hours at the gym). If the hobbyist parent is including the kids in the hobby, that's different.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with 20:15. Any responsible adult, male or female, needs to be able to get a respectable dinner on the table in 45 minutes without using every fricking pot in the kitchen. If it takes you 10 minutes to chop carrots (I'm looking at you, mine own darling husband) that means you need more practice, not less. To give a pass in situations like this just makes the problem worse.

DH used to take 1.5 hours to put together something I could do in 30 mins. But I've made it abundantly clear that Sunday dinner is his gig and his alone. So with practice, he's gotten faster. Granted, he cooks one of three things. But it's still one fewer meal I don't have to produce, and for that I'll gratefully set the table with the kids while he painstakingly massacres a tomato.

This is nuts, its takes at least an hour to make a basic roasted chicken and this does not include any prep time. OP your spouse just needs to plan better. I consider myself a pretty good cooks and I make fairly eloborate meals. Its the hightlight of my Sundays and my husband and kids love it. While I can easily take 3 hours to get a meal on the table, I am never in the kitchen that long and I rarely spend more than 20-30 minutes at the stove. I do a lot of prep work either after the kids go to bed or before they wake up. I use my oven a lot and am not into pot watching. Also, there is not rule that say that your kids cannot be in the kitchen while you cook.

Good luck.

Sometimes it takes 20 minutes, sometimes four hours. It depends what I am making. If I don't have four hours, I will make something else.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with 20:15. Any responsible adult, male or female, needs to be able to get a respectable dinner on the table in 45 minutes without using every fricking pot in the kitchen. If it takes you 10 minutes to chop carrots (I'm looking at you, mine own darling husband) that means you need more practice, not less. To give a pass in situations like this just makes the problem worse.

What about specialization? I don't tell DW that everyone needs to be able to do light carpentry.

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe it's something he loves to do? If so, it's not a waste of time.

I agree, and I think it depends on the context of the rest of your day/weekend. If the cook enjoys it, taking pleasure in making something special for Sunday dinner, and is not shirking on other household tasks or family time, it sounds like a win/win situation. (And while you say the kids are "young," I'm guessing at least one or two are old enough to begin appreciating quality food and learning that it sometimes takes a while to prepare.)

I might feel differently if you reported that said spouse slept in, spent the day recreating alone (leaving you with the kids), returned home to spend three hours cooking (leaving you with the kids), then left you to do all the dishes as well as all kid-related bedtime tasks.

I disagree with 20:15. Any responsible adult, male or female, needs to be able to get a respectable dinner on the table in 45 minutes without using every fricking pot in the kitchen. If it takes you 10 minutes to chop carrots (I'm looking at you, mine own darling husband) that means you need more practice, not less. To give a pass in situations like this just makes the problem worse.

DH used to take 1.5 hours to put together something I could do in 30 mins. But I've made it abundantly clear that Sunday dinner is his gig and his alone. So with practice, he's gotten faster. Granted, he cooks one of three things. But it's still one fewer meal I don't have to produce, and for that I'll gratefully set the table with the kids while he painstakingly massacres a tomato.

Or maybe it's something he loves to do? If so, it's not a waste of time.

Anonymous wrote:Op just a bit of advice. If you feel like its taking too long, why don't you offer to cook (and plan it) and make it a decent meal, not something you pop in the micro, and give your spouse a chance to watch the kids.
Maybe it's taking so long because your spouse doesn't enjoy doing it. Or maybe they are avoiding the kids, but if it's to that point maybe they need a break.

+1

If any of the kids are over 4 or so, they can help.

what is a "basic" dinner? what did your spouse cook?

Op just a bit of advice. If you feel like its taking too long, why don't you offer to cook (and plan it) and make it a decent meal, not something you pop in the micro, and give your spouse a chance to watch the kids.
Maybe it's taking so long because your spouse doesn't enjoy doing it. Or maybe they are avoiding the kids, but if it's to that point maybe they need a break.

depends on both your spouse and your idea of basic. My DH takes 3x as long as I do to cook.

tonight we had: curry chicken (prepared already from trader joes, we just sautéed), green beans (5 min in the microwave), rice, and salad. strawberries ad cookies for dessert. Took 30 minutes from start to finish to get it on the table.

Anonymous wrote:My spouse can take 2-3 hours to prepare a basic dinner. The food is wonderful, but, with 3 young kids, it is a waste of time in my view.

A pressure cooker will slash that time. 8)

Well, tonight we got a salad from SweetGreen and FiveGuys all around.

But, I come from a family where the men all cook (and their wives all complain that they are avoiding their kids). My DH never cooks except for tortellini. Grass is always greener....

My spouse can take 2-3 hours to prepare a basic dinner. The food is wonderful, but, with 3 young kids, it is a waste of time in my view.