Anonymous wrote:I give a gift from my heart, not to anticipate a Thank You note. I simply don't keep tabs and would never even realize if I got a note or not, if I get a TY note, I give a quick glance and trash it within 10 seconds of opening it.

It is so strange that people put so much emotion into getting a TY note or not. It is probably a good thing you stop giving gifts after no TY note, you clearly are not giving with selfless intentions.

I think its more a reflection of a relationship. On certain occasions you feel social pressure to give a gift to people you aren't close to. When it goes unacknowledged then you no longer feel obligated to give.

See? This comes back to people being nice to each other. "Get a life?" That's unkind, isn't it? All I'm saying is that I find it sad that common courtesy things have gone out the window. I hand wrote every wedding thank you. 200 of them. I hand wrote every thank you for baby gifts. I'm no better than anyone else. I didn't get them done in a day, but I didn't just say "oh thanks" or send out an email, either. Maybe you don't care about thank you notes or the little pleasantries that are going away, but there are people who notice. Some of them will stop what they do if you don't reciprocate. That's all. No need to be nasty. Just accept it.

I give a gift from my heart, not to anticipate a Thank You note. I simply don't keep tabs and would never even realize if I got a note or not, if I get a TY note, I give a quick glance and trash it within 10 seconds of opening it.

It is so strange that people put so much emotion into getting a TY note or not. It is probably a good thing you stop giving gifts after no TY note, you clearly are not giving with selfless intentions.

You people waiting for a stupid card saying thanks are just going to throw that note right in the garbage. Why so hung up on a piece of paper? I am talking to the one's who aren't happy getting a phone call and a very heartfealt thank you verbally. You all need to get a life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're thanking them in person or calling/emailing them, you're fine.

Not really. But at least you said something.

Why not?

I was someone who posted I stopped giving gifts when no thank-you notes arrived. The situation I was talking about was mostly long-distance relatives. I wouldn't expect one from a child's birthday party where presumably the gift was opened and we were thanked. I'm more talking about sending a baby gift to a friend or cousin and never receiving any acknowledgment (email, note, or call) and since we never see them there is no chance of an in-person thank-you.

If you can't be bothered to write a note, I can't be bothered to send a gift. I actually try hard to get the right gift for people and I put a fair amount of effort into it.

Anonymous wrote:If you're thanking them in person or calling/emailing them, you're fine.

Not really. But at least you said something.

Yes, I stop giving my SIL and brother gifts. I still give to their child. They don't care, they still send me gifts and I send them a thank you note.

I did not post on the other thread, but I don't continue to send gifts to people who don't send thank you notes. I just think it's rude. It's even worse if I mailed the gift. How do I even know if you ever got it? So no, I don't continue to send gifts. Here's an easy example (but not the only one). Cousin got married. I couldnt make the wedding, but I sent a gift. I never got a note. She had a baby. I sent a gift. I never got a note. Baby #2 she sent an announcement for and I sent a gift for. Still no note. I got announcements for babies 3 & 4. I stopped sending gifts.

Anonymous wrote:My SILs never thanked me for gifts- not verbally, written, email, text, nothing. I'd have to *ask* if gift arrived (just to make sure there wasn't a shipping problem), and even then, the response was "yes, it arrived." No thank you, nothing. We even sent both SILs $500 to put towards their wedding dresses- no thank you at all from either. No joke. I gave them about six years I'd say before I just stopped. I told DH that since his sisters never even remotely acknowledged the gifts I was sending, I was sending anymore. If he wanted to, his choice. Guess what, neither has received any sort of gift from us in the last 5 years.

They sound incredibly ungrateful! Dang, I wouldn't want to give them gifts either. Has either one complained about not getting gifts from you? Do they give you gifts?

*wasn't sending any more

My SILs never thanked me for gifts- not verbally, written, email, text, nothing. I'd have to *ask* if gift arrived (just to make sure there wasn't a shipping problem), and even then, the response was "yes, it arrived." No thank you, nothing. We even sent both SILs $500 to put towards their wedding dresses- no thank you at all from either. No joke. I gave them about six years I'd say before I just stopped. I told DH that since his sisters never even remotely acknowledged the gifts I was sending, I was sending anymore. If he wanted to, his choice. Guess what, neither has received any sort of gift from us in the last 5 years.

If you're thanking them in person or calling/emailing them, you're fine.

Reading the other thread I notice some people saying they stopped giving gifts to people who don't write thank you notes.

How does that work? Like, if you got an invitation to Jr's bday party again this year after his mom failed to send a thank you note last year you'd just skip the birthday or you show up and don't bring a gift?

What about during holidays? If your SIL didn't send you a thank you note after the get together, next year you don't show up to the family dinner or you just go and don't bring SIL a gift?

Please explain it to me...

BTW, I don't send thank you notes. Where I come from, you open the gift in front of the person and thank them at the moment. If it came in the mail you call them (when I was a kid I remember my mom calling aunts and uncles and giving me the phone to thank them) or now we send emails to thank whoever sent the gift.

I didn't notice getting any less gifts than normal, but again, I never send thank you notes anyway.