OP, you might want to take a peek at nychold.com , it has a lot of interesting articles that speak to some of your concerns.
I am not sure that agree that curriculum does not matter. It is a PIECE of the solution.
The experts are zeroing in on the issues and are coming closer to a plan. The only problem is that schools are so SLOW in taking action that perhaps your grandchildren will benefit.
For the time being, we will continue to import scientists.
I remember one statement from an interview that was on nychold. The gentleman was saying that there needs to be more rigor in our math studies. It is not all about this "discovery" and "understanding" of math that matters. The kids just have to learn the facts. The understanding will come later. He said that it took some of the best minds thousands of years to figure out the decimal system, and we think that a six year old can discover it one his own if we give him time to explore.
Anyway, the teachers stink (private and public) and the parents themselves don't now math because they went through the same crummy system.
Even our brightest students are under-performing compared to the bright students overseas.