I posted a few years ago about how writing thank you notes almost contributed to PPD for me. (I know that sounds ridiculous). I got hundreds of them, mainly from my work clients and partners, but also from DH's gigantic family. In all, I had to write about 350 thank you notes. DH was like "it' snot necessary to send them" and really wasn't much help. It took me soo long to write them back, and I actually had a handful of people complain to my MIL (and two people complain to my own grandma) that they didn't get thank you notes from me. (They did, it just took about 5 weeks or so). I did the best I could. i HATED it. Looking back, I will never, ever do this again (not that I ever expect to get this many gifts at once again!). It took a lot of pleasure and time away from spending time with my new baby and also time I could have been spending sleeping. DS had colic, too, and we literally had about 30 minutes a day without a baby in our arms. When I complained on DCUM, I got these biddies saying "no excuse for bad manners, put the baby down, let him cry, and write the notes." And "don't tell me that you don't have time to spend 15 minutes a day on thank you notes." Yeah.

Now when I give a present to a new parent, I write to them: DO NOT WRITE ME A THANK YOU NOTE! Spend that time with your baby instead, and when you feel up to sending out photos of your new little family member, please put me on your distribution list!

I've had parents call me and tell me how much they appreciated that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to write thank you's for Christmas presents. Any other gift giving requires a thank you note.

Thank you! I was beginning to think my MIL was somewhat in the norm of society "rights"! Which she never is

There is no Christmas exception to the rule of manners that says that you write thank you notes for gifts.

OP here. Growing up, we always had to write thank-yous for xmas gifts. In fact, my mom asked earlier this week if I had sent thank-yous for DS's xmas gifts (I haven't written thank yous for my own gifts for years). Perhaps because DS (or really, me) didn't reciprocate xmas gifts to most of the people who got them for him? My mom made it clear she was expecting a thank-you for her gifts to DS.

Perhaps it's just my f*cked up family who makes me hate writing thank-yous

We just thank people in person.

Nobody every dared to say anything to our faces and we never noticed getting "less" stuff at any point of our lives so I guess we're good.

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to write thank you's for Christmas presents. Any other gift giving requires a thank you note.

Thank you! I was beginning to think my MIL was somewhat in the norm of society "rights"! Which she never is

I never give thank you notes but then again, I never get gifts. Oh well...

You don't need to write thank you's for Christmas presents. Any other gift giving requires a thank you note.

I hate them. I also hate exchanging gifts between adults, which I think is a huge waste of time and misallocation of resources.

I wouldn't send them for Christmas since it's a mutual exchange of gifts on a holiday.

For birthdays, baby gifts, etc.--yes, handwritten thank you notes.

I agree with 9:35- hand-write them to those who don't email and email to those who you email with regularly. Personally, I think it's rude not to write a thank you note of any kind. I get it, we're all busy, but it really doesn't take that long, and it's a good thing to teach your kids.

Anonymous wrote:I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.

+1

I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.

I write email thank you cards to people who regularly communicate by email, and handwritten thank yous to people like my great-aunt who don't email.

Why are you writing thank you cards for Christmas? My mother in law does this and asked DH to and I have never heard of this practice for Christmas? It is a time for giving and I see no point in doing them for Christmas (but do it for most other things) and you are making it way more difficult on yourself. If anything just pick up the phone.

I just got finished writing about a billion of these for DS's birth, and now I'm hip deep in the Christmas thank-yous. Don't get me wrong, I am truly appreciative of the gifts we've received, but writing these damn things on small little cards makes my hand cramp and I long to just send a very nice e-mail. I mean, we live in the electronic age. I for one have no issue at all if I get a thank-you e-mail or ecard.

Do you still hand-write ALL of your thank-yous? Perhaps for grandparents it's nice, but I'm wondering if I'm torturing myself needlessly and times have moved on so that an electronic thank you is acceptable. If not, DAMMIT. Why??