I know brides who come from families that expect registries. Nice registries. Giving nice gifts is important to those families. So what?

Most brides and grooms marry later these days and have everything they want and/or need. They are certainly old enough to know what they want/need - not anyone else! If you want to chip in and get them something big with a bunch of coworkers, cousins, whatever, so what? If you don't, fine. But you don't have to insult them. Either go or don't. So?

If Miss Manners would have anything to say it would be about rude, bitter guests.

Anonymous wrote:People need to remember that registries came from the days when people would marry straight out of high school when you had two low wage earners who needed EVERYTHING to fill a house.

Today, with people marrying much after college, the two people marrying will have accumulated much of the stuff they will need to fill a house when they marry. And will marry at a time when they have decent incomes.

As someone who does not like handouts, registries are uncomfortable for me. I know two people who got married in their late 20s after living in a house they bought together for a couple of years. They had everything. Gets worse. They own a company together and at that time were probably pulling in 400K/year between the two of them. I was embarrassed for them that they even had a registry. Come on.

Me and DH are foreigners and we lived with roomates until we got married. Our cultures are against living together before marriage so when we rented our first home we had NOTHING. Well, we had 2 twin beds, a few towels, and our suitcases with our clothes.

I wonder where all this bitterness against happy couples is coming from...

Sometimes people give group gifts. $700 is not bad if 7 guests buy it together
On the other hand, my friend found out that people bought what she had registered for, except not the brand names, but cheap look-a-like alternatives
Face it, your wedding gift is not going to make or break the friendship. So no need to be too conscientious about it.

People need to remember that registries came from the days when people would marry straight out of high school when you had two low wage earners who needed EVERYTHING to fill a house.

Today, with people marrying much after college, the two people marrying will have accumulated much of the stuff they will need to fill a house when they marry. And will marry at a time when they have decent incomes.

As someone who does not like handouts, registries are uncomfortable for me. I know two people who got married in their late 20s after living in a house they bought together for a couple of years. They had everything. Gets worse. They own a company together and at that time were probably pulling in 400K/year between the two of them. I was embarrassed for them that they even had a registry. Come on.

Would OP be happier if the bride registered at Walmart? No, I am somehow sure OP would have something to say about that also. Something tells me this bride is in a no win situation and will get no compliments from OP. OP are you the nightmare nitpicky SIL/MIL? Better warn the bride now so she can RUN!

Anonymous wrote:UUGH. Another bride hater. Jealous, OP?

Who would be jealous of a $700 coffee pot? A person who covets material crap?

I wonder what Miss Manners would say about all this? I'm sure she'd be on OP's side, although she would advise OP just to butt out.

UUGH. Another bride hater. Jealous, OP?

Get over it, OP. It has nothing to do with you. Grow up.

Frankly, I bought my own stuff off the registry when the wedding was over. One or two items were what OP would call outrageous. But OP, do you know both sides well enough to say they did not grow up with nice things and are not just dreaming sh*t up? Probably not. They might know some really well to do people who are happy to buy for them, and they might not be willing (GASP!) to divulge all.

Novice mistake as we all know no one every uses that crap. Having said this, I had three outrageously expensive items in my registry that I knew no one would buy but that I would with the 20% off once the wedding was over.

Anonymous wrote:You don't know her guest list. A good gift registry has gifts in all price ranges so everybody can have options.

I never registered for anything that expensive, but the person who bought me the $350 mixer also bought me the down comforter ($200) and gave me a check ($300).

The only vulgar person in this whole deal so far is you.

OK, I'm taking this back and adding 22:17 to the list.

You don't know her guest list. A good gift registry has gifts in all price ranges so everybody can have options.

I never registered for anything that expensive, but the person who bought me the $350 mixer also bought me the down comforter ($200) and gave me a check ($300).

The only vulgar person in this whole deal so far is you.

OP, are you looking for trouble? Are you not happy for the young couple? Then for the love of God, please spare yourself and the bride and groom from your miserable self going to this wedding. No one says you have to buy off the registry. Just put a little cash in an envelope and be done with it. Or don't. They really don't care, trust me.

I don't understand all the complainers about brides and weddings. I do know we learn SO very much about people during weddings and funerals - they show their true colors, for better or worse.

I have never seen an ugly bride because there is no such thing. I have never complained about anything about a wedding because let's face it, that is not what weddings and brides and happiness is about. Gosh, if you can't enjoy a wedding what CAN you enjoy?!?! This is rhetorical of course.

It's tacky and gauche.

Just buy something off registry... max $100. Or give them a check, again max $100.

Is it obnoxious when people register for really expensive things? Like a $700 coffee pot. Not exaggerating here. College friends, age 29 and 30. They could not buy a gift that expensive for anyone else so I think it is somewhat vulgar to register for something that expensive. From what I know of their families, they are not so rich that crazy expensive wedding gifts would be the norm.

I guess someone could say it was vulgar for me to register for a $350 stand mixer, but everyone registers for those. A $700 china coffee pot seems a bit much.