Op- do you have kids of you own? Or are you just taking hers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, the kids move with their mother (since you wrote the father is unlikely to want custody). I can't imagine anything more traumatic for young kids then their parents splitting up, moving to different states and just leaving them behind.

OP here - I know you mean well but you don't know what these kids have been through already. This wouldn't be the first, second or even the third time the kids have lived with us for an extended period of time - without their parents. This will just be the first time we'd be doing it officially. Without a legal relationship between us and the kids, we won't be able to make medical decisions for them and we will not have any standing with the school.

I don't want to engage in a discussion on whether this is something we should do. I'm looking for information on temporary guardianship and would appreciate responses to that alone. Thanks.

OP - it doesn't change my opinion. And I don't think there should have been a second or third time. It's not "helping" like you think it is. If the mom is capable of taking care of the children then that's the best place for the kids. I am sure you have the best of intentions but that doesn't mean you are making the best choice for the kids. If you want an outside opinion, there are plenty of therapists in this area that can assist.

Actually, I'm not even sure OP has the best of intentions. I think OP feels like she knows what's best and that's the end of that. To dismiss objections that this might not be such a good idea with such arrogance is beyond the pale.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, the kids move with their mother (since you wrote the father is unlikely to want custody). I can't imagine anything more traumatic for young kids then their parents splitting up, moving to different states and just leaving them behind.

OP here - I know you mean well but you don't know what these kids have been through already. This wouldn't be the first, second or even the third time the kids have lived with us for an extended period of time - without their parents. This will just be the first time we'd be doing it officially. Without a legal relationship between us and the kids, we won't be able to make medical decisions for them and we will not have any standing with the school.

I don't want to engage in a discussion on whether this is something we should do. I'm looking for information on temporary guardianship and would appreciate responses to that alone. Thanks.

OP - it doesn't change my opinion. And I don't think there should have been a second or third time. It's not "helping" like you think it is. If the mom is capable of taking care of the children then that's the best place for the kids. I am sure you have the best of intentions but that doesn't mean you are making the best choice for the kids. If you want an outside opinion, there are plenty of therapists in this area that can assist.

Anonymous wrote:Clearly the op has a family-like relationship with these children that she would like to continue. Yes, it is a big step. And some of you have no idea what it means to need help.

Op, I am glad you are so kind and I wish you all luck.

Having a "family-like" relationships doesn't make them family and doesn't entitle them to custody. She speaks of wanting to keep the kids "AT LEAST" until the end of the school year. At a minimum, that's 6 months. But what's implied is longer-term. She wants to keep them "AT LEAST" that long.

When we moved, a family offered to keep our daughter so she could finish out the year at her old school. Our daughter is 8. I'm sure the offer was well-intentioned, but we were a little aghast at receiving it.

Clearly the op has a family-like relationship with these children that she would like to continue. Yes, it is a big step. And some of you have no idea what it means to need help.

Op, I am glad you are so kind and I wish you all luck.

Anonymous wrote:Okay, obviously PP's cannot read. The OP specifically said they weren't interested in discussing WHETHER to do it, just HOW to do it.

And what we are all saying is don't do it. The fact that they want to make something "official" is really troubling. I'm wondering why they feel the need to make an arrangement that they've undertaken in the past to be something more official? It is also highly presumptuous of the OP to think the parents would even agree. I certainly hope the parents have the right sense to get legal counsel before signing anything (which I imagine is something they cannot afford)

OP, I think it is really nice of you. You are a great friend. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Okay, obviously PP's cannot read. The OP specifically said they weren't interested in discussing WHETHER to do it, just HOW to do it.

OP, you can Google and find lots of places with the information that you'll need. There is a reasonable set of instructions at about.com.
http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/ht/temporary_guard.htm

There's actually a ton of information about this on the web that cover a lot of different scenarios and how to implement. You should look for the ones that fit the specifics of your agreement.

I think that what you are offering is great. Giving the mother options at this difficult stage of her life is so helpful. It may make a huge difference in how long it takes her to get her family back on their feet.

Um, I can read and said "I know you said you're not interested, but."

This is DCUM, and OP doesn't own the ship here. My opinion is what I wrote. OP is free to ignore it, but I'm still putting it out there. That's the way this site works!

Okay, obviously PP's cannot read. The OP specifically said they weren't interested in discussing WHETHER to do it, just HOW to do it.

OP, you can Google and find lots of places with the information that you'll need. There is a reasonable set of instructions at about.com.
http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/ht/temporary_guard.htm

There's actually a ton of information about this on the web that cover a lot of different scenarios and how to implement. You should look for the ones that fit the specifics of your agreement.

I think that what you are offering is great. Giving the mother options at this difficult stage of her life is so helpful. It may make a huge difference in how long it takes her to get her family back on their feet.

OP, I don't know about temporary guardianship, but I DO KNOW you can get a note from the parents/mother allowing you to make medical decisions for the children. I am sure something similar exists in school, and you just have to ask what kind of document they need... maybe a private one, signed and notarized will suffice?

Good luck op.

Anonymous wrote:No, the kids move with their mother (since you wrote the father is unlikely to want custody). I can't imagine anything more traumatic for young kids then their parents splitting up, moving to different states and just leaving them behind.

Anonymous wrote:No, the kids move with their mother (since you wrote the father is unlikely to want custody). I can't imagine anything more traumatic for young kids then their parents splitting up, moving to different states and just leaving them behind.

I have to agree with this. Sorry OP, I get that you're not interested in this but I agree that this doesn't sound good for the children at ALL. Why can't the mom stay with you until she gets on her feet or line something up? If she's moving to be closer to family, that sounds like a VERY good and healing situation for the kids.

My parents split when I was little and I was shipped off to an aunt's house for a month and it was HUGELY traumatic. Hugely. Unless there is an abuse situation (and if there is then your concern should go beyond temp custody) think twice about this. Kids belong with their mom. (or dad, but it sounds like he's splitting).

You can get a note from the mother for medical emergencies without temporary guardianship, anyway.

Anonymous wrote:No, the kids move with their mother (since you wrote the father is unlikely to want custody). I can't imagine anything more traumatic for young kids then their parents splitting up, moving to different states and just leaving them behind.

I have to agree with this. Sorry OP, I get that you're not interested in this but I agree that this doesn't sound good for the children at ALL. Why can't the mom stay with you until she gets on her feet? If she's moving to be closer to family, that sounds like a VERY good and healing situation for the kids.

My parents split when I was little and I was shipped off to an aunt's house for a month and it was HUGELY traumatic. Hugely. Unless there is an abuse situation (and if there is then your concern should go beyond temp custody) think twice about this. Kids belong with their mom.

Anonymous wrote:No, the kids move with their mother (since you wrote the father is unlikely to want custody). I can't imagine anything more traumatic for young kids then their parents splitting up, moving to different states and just leaving them behind.

OP here - I know you mean well but you don't know what these kids have been through already. This wouldn't be the first, second or even the third time the kids have lived with us for an extended period of time - without their parents. This will just be the first time we'd be doing it officially. Without a legal relationship between us and the kids, we won't be able to make medical decisions for them and we will not have any standing with the school.

I don't want to engage in a discussion on whether this is something we should do. I'm looking for information on temporary guardianship and would appreciate responses to that alone. Thanks.

No, the kids move with their mother (since you wrote the father is unlikely to want custody). I can't imagine anything more traumatic for young kids then their parents splitting up, moving to different states and just leaving them behind.

We've very close to an immigrant family that is having significant financial and marital issues. The couple is splitting up and the husband is likely to move to a distance state and the mother to another where she has family. Their older child is in middle school and the younger in early elementary school and is in the same class as one of my kids. We've known them both since they were infants. It's highly likely the father will not be in the picture once he moves out of state. The mother will likely have full and sole custody. The kids have really been through a lot and a move right now will be incredibly difficult. My DH and I would like to offer to keep the kids until at least the end of the school year to give the mother a chance to settle into the new state, find a job and line up housing. I'm trying to find more information on temporary guardianship and if anyone has experience in this area they can share. Thanks!