Top this. My friend is expecting her third. She moved out of the area for the year for her husband's judicial clerkship. Her mom sent out an invitation to a "virtual babyshower". Ie please send gifts to such and such address. TACKY!!!

These people are also fairly well off, but are new money.

Someone is throwing a 4th baby shower for my SIL. Not even the first girl! We figure that someone wanted to do it and my SIL is the type that won't say no, but it still seemed a bit much.

I think it's tacky when it's driven by the mom-to-be (again) herself. But if friends just plan a small something, I think that's fine. What really burned me was coworkers planned a shower for one woman's second baby and gave me nothing for my first. Ouch! I figured out quickly how popular I was in that office.

You know what's tacky? Judging what other people do and assigning labels -- yes, that means you, miss "it's the tackiest, rudest, most self-absorbed thing ever." Actually, I think criticizing someone elses choice, in which you have no obligation to participate, ranks higher on the self absorbtion chart. Every baby deserves to be celebrated, and the mom may not even know the shower is coming. Live and let people. And, no, I did not have a shower with my second, but I also don't begrudge those that do, since I ALWAYS buy the 2nd child a gift anyway!

this topic is so personal and played out-wtf do you people care. i am pregnant with my second dc. my dh is having a no gifts brunch for me and my close friends/family here. we are all excited to just celebrate and talk and visit. in southern va, where i am from, my aunts are insisting on throwing me a second "shower"-so i limited it to 10 close family members and they specifically asked me for register since they know i don't need much. we are buying everything ourselves so there are like bottles and pacis on there-but whatever.

Anonymous wrote:

Is it a DC thing?

No, its a southern thing and you are hearing from southern transplants or southern wanna bees who have an obsession with labeling things tacky.

i am not from the south and my now-southern SIL had a second baby shower (even better the hosts sent out a specific e-mail telling everyone where she was registered for #2, thereby eliminating any notion that it was just a celebration) and i think it is the tackiest, rudest, most self-absorbed thing ever. if you can't get the stuff yourself, don't have a second baby.

Is it a DC thing?

No, its a southern thing and you are hearing from southern transplants or southern wanna bees who have an obsession with labeling things tacky.

Tacky gift grab. If it's about celebrating, and not grubbing for gifts, then the parents can always hold a party to meet the baby. OP, ignore the cranky PPs - their Chardonnay obviously hasn't kicked in yet.

Who cares if you need stuff, a shower is not the way to get people to give it to you. It's tacky everywhere.

OP, beware of the snarky women on DCUM.

Completely tacky.

I would have a party, but not a shower.

Tacky. No matter where you live.

Hold on ladies. I never said I think it's tacky. I'm not even from DC. I lived there for several years (I'm from overseas and we don't do showers there).

Jeez!

Don't go then. It is considered tacky in some circles, but who cares. There is not a be all, end all authoritative answer to this issue. It is all opinion. In your opinion, it is tacky. To the people where you live it is not.

You know what they say about opinions...

Lay off, OP. So the mom needs some stuff, so what?

Is it a DC thing?

I just moved to the Midwest and seems like it's the norm here. Where else is a second baby shower considered tacky?