Anonymous wrote:I was maid of honor once, and that was enough. Luckily our other best friend shared the duties with me, and the bride was a simple, easy going woman. But it was still a lot of work. I was asked to be a flower girl in my cousin's wedding when I was five. But she had such a long engagement, that when her actuall wedding came along, I was dumped for my four year old little cousing. I was 8 and getting lanky. I was heartbroken. They ended up making me the guestbook keeper.

This is horrible!! But you gotta give 'em credit for coming up with guestbook keeper.

OP, I'm in the same boat, and sometimes felt sad about it - I felt like none of my friendships were meaningful enough for anyone to include me in their big day. But my life has been a bit of a whirlwind too, and I moved to the US right around the time when most of the people my age were getting married, so by the time I had a chance to develop meaningful friendships, most of the weddings have also passed. I understand that you can be sad about this sometimes, but I got over it - most of my friends now, like myself, have school-aged kids and weddings are a thing of the past (in fact, some of us are going through divorces at the moment). Hopefully in a few years you won't even give it a second thought...

I retired from being a bridesmaid when I eloped for my own wedding. I don't have the wedding gene. I'm happy to participate in all the bachelorette, shower activities, and give an incredibly expensive gift, but I'm done with being in weddings.

OP, be thankful

when i was in my 20s-30s most of my partnered friends were gay and couldn't get married. that always seemed so wrong. i've been ambivalent about weddings ever since. my sibling's wedding is coming up , and i dread it, though my young daughter (who does not yet know if she will be a flower girl or anything else) will enjoy it.

I was maid of honor once, and that was enough. Luckily our other best friend shared the duties with me, and the bride was a simple, easy going woman. But it was still a lot of work. I was asked to be a flower girl in my cousin's wedding when I was five. But she had such a long engagement, that when her actuall wedding came along, I was dumped for my four year old little cousing. I was 8 and getting lanky. I was heartbroken. They ended up making me the guestbook keeper.

I was the maid of honor once and only once-Thank goodness! Tons of stress, lots of money, and the day of the wedding I was running around like a madwoman trying to make sure everything was perfect for the bride (the wedding coordinator went MIA midway thru the reception) and the bridesmaids were useless.

I'm in almost none of the pictures.

I was a maid of honor once for a good friend, but honestly, I'd have been just as happy just attending the wedding. Went to two other weddings (one friend, one family). I find weddings pretty tedious, to be honest.

I've done it a few times for family, but never for a friend. I'm pretty sure I didn't miss out. I'm pretty sure it's a different type of person than I am, and I'm ok with that.

Eh...when I was 5 I was a flower girl in my aunts wedding...so that was about 30 years ago and I don't remember much.
I remember I was the only "kid" at the wedding reception...the DJ was announcing the wedding party for a dance, and asked for "some nice gentleman to dance with 'Suzie the flower girl'"

I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. It sucked. The other two bridesmaids (sister of the bride and cousin of the bride) were flakes. I had to plan everything...including taking on the entire shower myself. Bride was very self absorbed and wanted REALLY extravagent showers and bachelorette parties. I was tapped out after the shower and told the brides sister I couldn't do the bachelorette party. She wanted the 4 of us to take limo's to some local wineries (about 4 hours away) for a day. Sorry, no. I knew if I agreed, I would end up planning the whole thing, putting down all the deposits for the entire thing, eventually paying for any remaining money due on the day of, and never getting reimbursed.
My other brother was the best man. When the wedding came he spent the entire week prior to the wedding driving the bride and groom to various appointments/last minute planning things (destination wedding), etc. At the wedding the bride actually told my brother (best man, not husband) to "F off" because he had the audacity to tell her that the dj was wondering when he should play the song for the first dance! Insane!


Entire marriage lasted 2 years!

Awww, you guys are the best!

Thank you! I feel much better already!

OP - you missed spending a lot of money/time on crap, being in wedding photos that are torched after the divorce, and bragging rights. That's it.

It was fun being a bridesmaid and a flower girl when I was a young child/teen. I got to play dress-up and my parents footed the bill. When I was an adult.... yeah, not so much.

It's not all it's cracked up to be. Sounds like you had a lot of wonderful opportunities to live in different states and overseas and meet all kinds of people. Many people never have that.

It can be fun, but in my experience it's a hassle and you have to shell out big $$$ for a (usually unflattering) dress and shoes that you'll never wear again. Also the bride (your friend, sister, whatever) is, frankly, not at her best that day and/or leading up to that day. Bridezillas are not fun to deal with. IMHO you didn't miss much.

Signed,

Bridesmaid x 6

or a bride's maid or a maid of honor... Did I miss anything?

Honestly, I've never been to too many weddings to begin with. We moved a lot for my dad's work and we never lived close to family so we missed a lot of such events. (same goes for funerals but that's for another thread)

Once I finished college I moved a lot because of my job, lived in different states and countries and made a lot of friends but nothing really significant. After I begin using Facebook I got to reconnect with a lot of folks from school, college, and work and everybody is married, expecting or already have kids (same stage of life as me).

I noticed just the other day (after a friend complained about being a BM again - for the 5th or 6th time) that I was never asked to be part of a wedding party. I felt kinda relieved (when she explained the amount of $ that goes with it) but then I could not help but feel sad that nobody ever considered me so important in their lives to the point they'd invite me to be part of their wedding party

This is more a vent than anything else, but feel free to share your thoughts too.