Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have talked about splitting up so this topic is close to me. We have been together for over 20 years and see the world differently. The things we like to do, how we resolve conflict, and handle raising kids are way more apart than when we first met.

Long story short, if she threw in the towel for any of the OP's reasons it would be extremely difficult for me emotionally but financially things would be OK. I have no interest in cheating her out of assets. We still love each other but every day is a struggle. And I would not even think about dating. Might do some group therapy and on a casual basis start getting involved in some activities so I don't become isolated, which is easy for men to do because usually we don't have the support systems that women have.

Therapy would be a good idea.

My wife and I have talked about splitting up so this topic is close to me. We have been together for over 20 years and see the world differently. The things we like to do, how we resolve conflict, and handle raising kids are way more apart than when we first met.

Long story short, if she threw in the towel for any of the OP's reasons it would be extremely difficult for me emotionally but financially things would be OK. I have no interest in cheating her out of assets. We still love each other but every day is a struggle. And I would not even think about dating. Might do some group therapy and on a casual basis start getting involved in some activities so I don't become isolated, which is easy for men to do because usually we don't have the support systems that women have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chances are we loved you and we'll miss you. Maybe even shed a private tear or two. But the bottom line is we spend so much time getting used to having shit we love taken away by our wives that when it turns out it's them that ends up gone we do what we always do in these situations. Jack off, get piss drunk, break some shit, sleep it off, then move on.

I would do all that plus buy the damned sports car that she keeps telling me isn't practical. If my finances are going to be torn up, I'm going to at least drive what I want!

Honey, is that you?

Anonymous wrote:Chances are we loved you and we'll miss you. Maybe even shed a private tear or two. But the bottom line is we spend so much time getting used to having shit we love taken away by our wives that when it turns out it's them that ends up gone we do what we always do in these situations. Jack off, get piss drunk, break some shit, sleep it off, then move on.

I would do all that plus buy the damned sports car that she keeps telling me isn't practical. If my finances are going to be torn up, I'm going to at least drive what I want!

Chances are we loved you and we'll miss you. Maybe even shed a private tear or two. But the bottom line is we spend so much time getting used to having shit we love taken away by our wives that when it turns out it's them that ends up gone we do what we always do in these situations. Jack off, get piss drunk, break some shit, sleep it off, then move on.

I'm in my early 40s and would look for a woman ten years older who is totally horny because she was previously in an unhappy marriage and is looking to do all sorts of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would move in with his parents and be much happier. They don't expect anything of him, and still spoil him like a child.

Ha ha ha.

Probably true of many men. Just need to be in the basement so he can have his own space to do *his thing* and pretend the parents live with him.

If my wife left me I would be pissed. From the beginning, we decided that being honest with each other, no matter how painful, was nonnegotiable. I care about this woman and while no person alive can completely satisfy another individual's needs, our emotional and sexual connection is something I do not take for granted. Walking out the door would be a breach of trust that would probably not be repairable.

Anonymous wrote:My husband would move in with his parents and be much happier. They don't expect anything of him, and still spoil him like a child.

Ha ha ha.

My husband would move in with his parents and be much happier. They don't expect anything of him, and still spoil him like a child.

Not at all. Like me, there are probably women in their late 40s who have raised, or just about finishing raising children, and they really do not want to get married again. I see nothing wrong with two people in that situation who are committed to each other but do not want to go through the legal ramifications.

RE: your last paragraph, OP. I am a woman and trust me, it is very important for a woman to cover her ass financially. In more marriages than not, the man is either the higher earner or the sole breadwinner. Being left as a single mom whose entire source of income or at least a lot of it has just been stripped from her is not a good situation to be in. And far too many women let their husbands handle ALL the finances/bills and have no idea what they have, are entitled to, or owe when divorce comes around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In terms of companionship, the most likely way I would meet a woman is though a friend, at work, or an activity like a cultural event. For me to want to spend time with her, it would have to be someone who is incredibly open and honest. And finally, I would never get married again. Once is enough under these circumstances. I would want a person who is also in her 40s and wants a companion - someone to do things with, ask how the day went, and care about her but not interested in a trip down the aisle or living with a man.

So are you saying you want free milk without buying the cow?

In this case he is seeking a woman who is not interested in being bought and likes giving her milk away. Plenty of women have no interest in getting married for the first time OR remarrying.

Anonymous wrote:
In terms of companionship, the most likely way I would meet a woman is though a friend, at work, or an activity like a cultural event. For me to want to spend time with her, it would have to be someone who is incredibly open and honest. And finally, I would never get married again. Once is enough under these circumstances. I would want a person who is also in her 40s and wants a companion - someone to do things with, ask how the day went, and care about her but not interested in a trip down the aisle or living with a man.

So are you saying you want free milk without buying the cow?

OK, let's turn the previous discussion around. Suppose one day your wife said that she was leaving because she was "bored/unfulfilled/dissatisfied/fell in love with the FedEx guy"? As a man, it seems that my three choices would be: 1) go out and hit on anyone who uses the women's room, 2) go into a depression, drink and wallow in self pity, or 3) live my life and if someone else came along great, if not fine also. I might wind up a little bit into the first two choices and settle into the third.

First off, I didn't like dating - the endless games, dates that are like interviews, the whole scene. For me, what I would do first is focus on my relationship with my children. Chances are they would be very scared and confused. I would want them to know that their father will always be their father and can be counted on. Second, I would indulge in some things that have been on the backburner. I want to do more hiking, travel throughout the US and South America, and once and for all master a foreign language.

In terms of companionship, the most likely way I would meet a woman is though a friend, at work, or an activity like a cultural event. For me to want to spend time with her, it would have to be someone who is incredibly open and honest. And finally, I would never get married again. Once is enough under these circumstances. I would want a person who is also in her 40s and wants a companion - someone to do things with, ask how the day went, and care about her but not interested in a trip down the aisle or living with a man.

It was interesting to me that the responses to the husband leaving thread involved protecting assets and dating again. Obviously I wouldn't want my wife to clean out the checking account but the mental well being of my kids and myself is my chief concern. But then I can understand that if the husband is the breadwinner, the wife would be troubled by financial implications.