Anonymous wrote:Yep, you're in a tough spot but the most defensible thing is to stay out of it and just be there for your friend to the extend she welcomes you in.

+1

Yep, you're in a tough spot but the most defensible thing is to stay out of it and just be there for your friend to the extend she welcomes you in.

If you have proof of an affair, tell her. If not, not your concern.

OP here. Thank you very much for the feedback. I don't want to talk about this with anyone, so I posted here hoping that I could hear from others that I'm not a bad friend if I just MYOB for the time being and focus on being her friend and supporter come what may.

09:00: i have considered this, which is another reason I feel like I should keep my mouth shut. And if I'm right, even so, she'd probably chalk it up to my dislike of him.

Anyway, thanks for the responses.

Perhaps your dislike of this man is clouding your judgment. It is irresponsible to act without direct knowledge-not just supposition. Consider your motives.

never a winner here ... if you keep it to yourself the friend gets angry @ you when TSHTF. Someone who's been betrayed like this is often looking to lash out ... hence the rebound sex thing and the lashing out @ friends for wrongs real and imagined.

If you are ready to have this friend break it off, present the proof. If you don't have proof, then MYOB.

Yes MYOB unless you are certain and even then remember the phrase "kill the messenger of bad tidings".

Keep your suspicions to yourself and be there as her freind when the fecal matter connects with the ocillating air movement device.

Anonymous wrote:My friend is in the same situation, except she FOUND proof that her fiance is cheating. She called me and several of her other friends up crying all weekend, and now she's ignoring us and going back to him. She even posted a picture of them together on Facebook, as if to send us a message (WTF?). I'm just about to dump her as a friend... it's just too pathetic.

I eventually ended my marriage, but early on as things went bad I knew to keep some things from my best friends. If they knew about some of what my husband had been up to or how he was treating me generally, it would have required taking steps I just wasn't prepared to take at that time. Nobody wants to be considered pathetic. I certainly didn't.

Your friend isn't there yet, PP. Be compassionate and hold off on the name-calling.

My friend is in the same situation, except she FOUND proof that her fiance is cheating. She called me and several of her other friends up crying all weekend, and now she's ignoring us and going back to him. She even posted a picture of them together on Facebook, as if to send us a message (WTF?). I'm just about to dump her as a friend... it's just too pathetic.

MYOB until you have proof.

Oh Lordy that's a tough one but yes stay out. Yikes.

I wouldn't say anything. For all you know, she may be aware of it but chooses to turn a blind eye. It happens. Just be there for her if the sh*t does hit the fan.

Totally agree with 20:46. There really is no winning in this one.

If you're not SURE about the affair, yes, keep your mouth shut...but be ready to be there if she needs support.

Long story short, my friend got married last year to a man I do not like. She moved here to be near him, because they had a child together a number of years ago. I never thought he would marry her, but low and behold they had another child together last year and got married. I have never said outright that I don't like him, but I think she knows. Now I think he's having an affair with another mutual friend. If it were me, I would want to know, but I still have this feeling like I should just keep my mouth shut. Maybe I just need to prepare to support her whatever way this goes, right?