Well...we have been buying small gifts for all the neices and nephews for five years...they are all middle school age and younger. We rarely get a thankyou and have only got a present in return a few times. Seeing that we now have three kids of our own and they have yet to really reciprocate...we are stopping this year. It costs us a couple hundred dollars and I can't take the fact that they don't think about my kids so..no more gifts and frankly I don't think they will care one bit.

Anonymous wrote:No, I do not. I give gifts because it makes me happy, not because I expect someone to buy something for me.

THIS-one should give a gift solely to make another person happy. Not in expectation of a gift in return and although it is good manners, in expectation of a thank you. You are not obligated to give anyone a gift. Do it because you wish to, not to get something in return.

well, for me it depends on the relationship between the person. If they are younger - or kids of friends or neices/nephews or someone I know doesn't have a lot of money to spend on gifts then, no, I don't expect a gift back and will probably continue to give a gift the next year.

but, (and i'll probably get slammed for this but whatever) if all things are relatively equal, I do look at receiving gifts as sort of a guide to where I "rank" in that friend's life. I don't buy gifts for all friends, acquaintences, etc. but I'll try and find something special for the closer friends in my life. I know everyone sort of does that - you have to stop gift-giving at somebody (similar to wedding invites - there's a cut-off) and it is telling and a little bit hurtful if I go out of my way to find that extra special something for you because you're in my "inner circle" for example, and it's clear that I didn't make the "inner circle" cut with you, I'll likely not only be not giving you a gift next year, but probably not be calling you to confide in you, or share personal things with you in the future because I'll feel like I'm merely an acquaintance to you, but you were a dear close friend of mine.

That being said, if you were a close friend, I'd probably know if this year you aren't buying gifts for any non-family or that you're swamped and couldn't get all the gifts you wanted to get this year. And also, gifts don't have to be store bought - I'd feel like you thought of me if you gave me a framed nice picture of your kid or took me out for a drink or lunch for a christmas gift or offered to babysit my kids.....

To me, it really is the thought that counts, but if you don't reciprocate, there's no thought that went into it.

No. I'm not one of those who likes owning a lot of stuff. For me, the giving TRULY is better than the receiving. I am perfectly happy to get no gifts at Christmas, I just love giving them.

I give gifts b/c I want to. I don't give a lot of gifts (i.e. friends). I am just not that into receiving things, so it doesn't seem necessary (and it actually seems more wasteful) to give gifts just because it's a holiday and the retailers tell us to buy things.

I like the sentiment of Thanksgiving SO MUCH more than Christmas. There are a lot less material expectations with Tgiving, and a lot more focus on just eating a meal with family or friends and being happy with what you have. I wish Christmas was the same, but it has been overrun with retailers trying to get us to focus on what we DON'T have and what we should have and what we should want. My response to most of that is to not gift outside of my immediate family and sending flowers or wreaths to the parents/in laws.

I do feel some pressure when I receive a gift from a friend at Xmas and I haven't purchased anything for them. I appreciate their effort, but I hope that they will take me off the gift list next year.

No, I do not. I give gifts because it makes me happy, not because I expect someone to buy something for me.

Nope. But I do expect a thank-you note. Lack of thanks gets that person striken from next year's list.

When you give a gift during the holidays ( whichever holiday you celebrate), do you expect to receive a gift in return?

If you did not receive a gift in return, would you still give a gift the following year?