You can buy a potted orchid in bloom for far less than any cut flowers, except maybe the five stems of carnations. They don't need to be trimmed or put into vases. I just picked up two (one for me, one for my "just bring yourselves!" Thanksgiving hostess) for $10 each, at Home Depot. Trader Joe's also has good orchids.

I'd bring flowers, although I disagree that it's "tacky" to bring nothing. At the same time, when I have dinner parties I tell people not to bring anything and I mean it (although I'm always happy to get flowers or wine or some little token comestible).

I don't get the bouquet of flowers. I've seen so many hostesses stuck running around getting a vase, water, trimming and arranging the flowers, etc. And she already bought the flowers she wanted for the evening.

Anonymous wrote:I would not bring anything that could be construed as for that night's dinner (because that puts hosts in an awkward position), but I would probably bring a small hostess gift - flowers, wine, chocolate, home-made jam, depending on what I know of the person.

Er, wine should not be in that list, obviously. (I am the PP.) I was thinking of a particular situation where it was clear the wine was not intended to be served that night, but in most cases hosts might feel obligated to serve your wine.

I would not bring anything that could be construed as for that night's dinner (because that puts hosts in an awkward position), but I would probably bring a small hostess gift - flowers, wine, chocolate, home-made jam, depending on what I know of the person.

Anonymous wrote:We bring wine.

Same here.

We bring wine.

perhaps in the western world do people really mean it

Yes, we do. You always honor the request of the hostess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and insists you don't bring anything, do you just not bring anything?

We're not really comfortable with showing up empty handed, and it's not the sort of situation where we could bring a bottle of wine.

When I ask my guests not to bring anythng, this is what I actually mean, Please, please do not bring anything. Just sent a thank you note, hand written and sent through US mail, not email.

perhaps in the western world do people really mean it. in my experience it is considered rude for the host to specifically ask for anything - hence the answer of no when you ask. but it is an unwritten rule that showing up empty handed is tacky. flowers are perfect.

Anonymous wrote:and insists you don't bring anything, do you just not bring anything?

We're not really comfortable with showing up empty handed, and it's not the sort of situation where we could bring a bottle of wine.

When I ask my guests not to bring anythng, this is what I actually mean, Please, please do not bring anything. Just sent a thank you note, hand written and sent through US mail, not email.

Agreed I hate feeling empty handed, I would probably bring flowers.

Flowers?

Definitely don't bring food; sounds like the hosts have their own menu and don't need/want anything else.

I would bring something else - chocolate, flowers, something like that. I also hate showing up empty-handed.

You always honor the request of your hostess. Send a nice thank you note or small gift after the dinner.

and insists you don't bring anything, do you just not bring anything?

We're not really comfortable with showing up empty handed, and it's not the sort of situation where we could bring a bottle of wine.