I don't doubt that it costs an amount almost $10000 over tuition to cover the cost of one student alone at Big 3. These school facilities and programs are indeed on par with those of the swankiest colleges, yet these schools do not have the endowments of the swankiest colleges. Have you read the budget that your school probably publicizes? It's all in there, where your tuition money goes and where donations and endowment make up the difference. Please don't be skeptical and make accusations of "vague language" if you have not examined the annual budget.

but my paying full tuition does not cover the full cost of my DS's attending the school. It costs the school something around $8000 to $9000 over the charged tuition fee for each student each year.

That is what they tell you (and me too) but I am skeptical because the terms aren't defined -- even in the annual report. For example, some of that __ thousands of dollars is paying down debt on a luxe arts/sports facility that is 1. over the top and on par with a swank college and 2. not actually necessary if everyone's is being honest. And that's just one example. I feel jerked around by the purposefully vague language schools use when they attempt to guilt-trip parents that our tuition "doesn't cover" the cost.

There are some intelligent thoughts on this very topic ["closing the gap"] imbedded in other threads, with some insight from Big 7 board members.

I am amused to read the auction booklet and see how the rich live; the booklet is a good bathtub read. I may be a bit envious of the money, but over all I am grateful that people are donating the use of their vacation houses to help fund the school. I scrimp to pay full freight at our Big-3 school, but my paying full tuition does not cover the full cost of my DS's attending the school. It costs the school something around $8000 to $9000 over the charged tuition fee for each student each year. I can make only a small cash donation each year. So I am grateful to people who donate big to the auction and who bid big.

The auctions are a great cause...usually they fund financial aid. There are big ticket items but usually there are smaller things like restaurant gift certificates. If you plan on eating out at least once a year go ahead and bid on one. If you win it you get a nice night out. If you don't win at least you've assisted in driving up the bids on the item.

I don't understand the jealousy. I don't have money for any of that stuff either but I find it entertaining to watch the bidding take place. Don't be so hard on the wealthy parents; they are making positive contributions to your child's school!

Anonymous wrote:Just please do not accept financial aid at your $$$ private and then also complain about the big spenders. Because that would be hysterical. I agree that if you don't want to go to the auction then simple answer is "don't."

Those auction $ are used. Most go to the party and never bid on the expensive items. If I was planning a vacation during the time period offered on an auction and the offred property was similar to what i was looking for then I might bid. that has never happened ...

Just please do not accept financial aid at your $$$ private and then also complain about the big spenders. Because that would be hysterical. I agree that if you don't want to go to the auction then simple answer is "don't."

Anonymous wrote:New to private school. Funding the entire thing on my government salary (1/3 of after-tax income).

I can't really afford to go to the auction (I don't know what the ticket price will be but I'm sure something like $100 or so). I also can't afford to do annual giving, really. We are the poor people in the school, I'm realizing...

However, for the show of unity and to not be "that parent" that does not contribute, I will do something.

What is more important-- the annual giving fund? attending the auction? or something else that will pop up.

Give $25 or so to the annual fund, if you can afford it. It helps with participation numbers. Don't go to the auction or contribute for anything else, unless there is a teacher gift fund.

Skip the auction, make a modest contribution to the annual fund.

Most people at our auction ignore the actual auction part and concentrate on the dinner and friends aspect. We usually get some raffle tickets and do some inexpensive items on the on-line auction, but that's it. The parking spaces and the vacation homes are out of my price range, but its nice that other families can get a deal on a vacation and help the school at the same time.

New to private school. Funding the entire thing on my government salary (1/3 of after-tax income).

I can't really afford to go to the auction (I don't know what the ticket price will be but I'm sure something like $100 or so). I also can't afford to do annual giving, really. We are the poor people in the school, I'm realizing...

However, for the show of unity and to not be "that parent" that does not contribute, I will do something.

What is more important-- the annual giving fund? attending the auction? or something else that will pop up.

Yeah, five years ago when we were a lot more flush, the auction was fun. It's less fun now to be an observer...though we still go. It does raise a lot of money for scholarships, though, so it's hard to beat up on it too much.

Anonymous wrote:Don't go. I quit going to my school's auction years ago. I can afford the items and for awhile got caught up in the "show" of bidding large. I finally realized how obnoxious the whole process was. I just give them a check and avoid the dog and pony show. Stay home that night and enjoy your family.

I absolutely agree with this. Exactly our approach, too.

I, for one, am tired of the constant shake down for money.

Don't go. I quit going to my school's auction years ago. I can afford the items and for awhile got caught up in the "show" of bidding large. I finally realized how obnoxious the whole process was. I just give them a check and avoid the dog and pony show. Stay home that night and enjoy your family.

I realize that there are a lot of super rich families at private schools. We've had kids at big 3 schools for years. However, I am getting a little tired of seeing all these over the top auction items, like many many vacation homes, trips to villas in Europe, etc etc. I know it's raising money for the school, it's very nice for these families to be donating the use of their fabulous 2nd house, but it's a little hard to take when I'm having trouble paying my bills. Yes, I'm probably jealous that I don't have anything wonderful to donate and I couldn't possibly bid on any of these items. Do you like going to these auctions and watching rich people spend money on extravagant luxuries?