Anonymous wrote:There are schools and administrations that ABSOLUTELY take it out on the families and the children. I hate to say it, and I wish that all schools would be professional, but the truth is that they aren't. If you are at one of these schools, you know who they are. If you aren't, you don't understand, you think the rest of us are paranoid, and I'm really very happy for you that you have not had to deal with this. If you are in the lousy situation, explain your concerns to the schools you are applying to. Chances are, you are NOT the first families they are hearing it from. Schools have reputations. No one was AT ALL surprised to hear it from us. Tell your current school at the last possible minute, and don't be afraid to walk in with a copy of your DC's grades. The school will send over an official transcript, it if isn't the same as the grades you have received, you will be asking questions. We did. Yes, it can get nasty.

What? A school actually falsified grades? Is this for real?

Agree, pp. WES was a nightmare. They did process the paperwork and the recommendations were fine--but they were very nasty about the move.

There are schools and administrations that ABSOLUTELY take it out on the families and the children. I hate to say it, and I wish that all schools would be professional, but the truth is that they aren't. If you are at one of these schools, you know who they are. If you aren't, you don't understand, you think the rest of us are paranoid, and I'm really very happy for you that you have not had to deal with this. If you are in the lousy situation, explain your concerns to the schools you are applying to. Chances are, you are NOT the first families they are hearing it from. Schools have reputations. No one was AT ALL surprised to hear it from us. Tell your current school at the last possible minute, and don't be afraid to walk in with a copy of your DC's grades. The school will send over an official transcript, it if isn't the same as the grades you have received, you will be asking questions. We did. Yes, it can get nasty.

np here. My fear isn't that the current teacher + admin (bc an admin always reviews) will "retaliate" by egging our house or slashing our tires. My fear is that the current school humans -- who have egos that are on display daily -- will write a blah letter for DC that doesn't help in the least. In fact, it could be so matter-of-fact and lukewarm that *comparatively* speaking, it's a black mark for my child.

"Johnny did a fine job while at PrivateSchool. He is engaged in his community and completes his assignments in a timely fashion. Johnny was prepared for class and present for discussions. Johnny was helpful to his classmates and an asset to the PrivateSchool community. We think Johnny will make a fine addition to any school community."

That kind of bullshit -- which doesn't say anything at all. My personal feeling is that kind of letter is actually a problem, if Johnny's competition gets customized, detailed, on-point and enthusiastic letter full of personalized anecdotes and real examples.

So that's my fear. My above example is well within the realm of being "professional" "educators."

Doesn't this kind of thing happen all the time? Why would you fear retaliation? I cant imagine any teachers I know taking it out on the child if the parents decide to switch schools.

As a consultant, I deal with this a lot. Please know that the incoming school admissions people understand that there's a reason you're leaving your current school so the recommendations might be biased.

Also, I highly recommend you have someone outside the school write a letter of recommendation for your child. This can help show the disconnect between who the child is and how the teacher rec reads.

Hope this helps!

Anonymous wrote:please leave soon. we stayed in a school hen my gut said leave and it's even harder getting good recommendations from school who knows that your child was miserable all year.

we did this as well and I can tell you it was the worst mistake we have ever made educational. You child's attitude will show more and more and it does start to affect their grades.

There are enough good schools ot stay at one that is not working for a child.

OP, you will have to ask for recommendations and transcripts. Just ask them straight away. You do not need to give your reasons.

We are doing this now. Our current school is not upset with us; they understand why we are looking elsewhere. Remember, they are - or should be - educators first, not business people.

We too are in a similar situation. Wonder if it is the same school! Can't go into detail due to the situation being ongoing. Minor requests are just too much for them. And yet they are angry that we are looking at other schools. It is just NOT a good fit. I am fearful that they are going to take it out on our child on the recommendation and during the rest of the year. Please share advice. We are really upset.

"Mrs. Smith, I'm so glad Joey is in your class this year. Could you fill out this recommendation? We're checking out some other options for school next year."

please leave soon. we stayed in a school hen my gut said leave and it's even harder getting good recommendations from school who knows that your child was miserable all year.

We're in a similar situation, compounded by the fact that b/c of my kid's physical issues we had a consultant come into the classroom to observe. Ever since, the teacher has been decidedly cool to me. We spent a good part of the parent teacher conference with her arguing why I should keep kid there. And it's a fine place, but time to move on. I felt bad about it for about 3 weeks but now I just hope and assume the teacher is professional enough not to take this out on my kid and I feel good that we're (hopefully) going to be moving on.

You can't hide the fact that you're applying out so just be upfront and matter-of-fact. Try not to blame either the school or your child.

What's your question? Can't you just ask the school for whatever forms are needed for application to the new school?

I would appreciate any advise on this. We simply feel that the school our child is currently attending is not the best fit for her/him. This is not due to academic capabilities, but more so due to the structure of the program (traditional vs. more middle of the road or progressive). DS is managing, but is not happy there. This is from a kid who absolutely loved her/his former school.

Thanks so much.