Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:42     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
I wish the offender lists didn't even bother with the scenario of a 19 year had consensual sex with a 15 year old, etc. it's the ones like down the street that say "rape of a child", seriously what is this guy doing out in society, it's not like he got "cured" of this by spending time in jail
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:28     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...

Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:23     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok, here is my question (which I'm sure no one on this board can really truly answer): WTF is actually going on in their heads when this happens? Are they thinking, hey, this is a GOOD thing I'm doing? This is not hurting this child in any way, so it's fine? Even if the argument is "I'm born that way" (which I happen to believe-I mean, who would CHOOSE to be attracted to little kids?!), they still have free will, and the power of choice. Choosing to indulge in their lust for children is wrong, on every conceivable level. So why do they do it? It's a very scary question when you think about it. It speaks to the fact that they are utterly morally bankrupt. THAT'S what keeps me up at night Well, that, and the thoughts of the kids they molest.


It's a compulsion. They know it's wrong but think they can't help themselves. Some of them swear they'll never do it again, but inevitably, they do. Of course it's wrong, but these are their desires and humans are not particularly good at denying themselves things they like or enjoy. People who are sick like this are particularly good at justifying it to themselves, i.e. "It feels good, it's not hurting them."


pp here. This is what I just can't understand, how they can try to justify that by saying this to themselves. I as a well adjusted person I'll never understand this, because to me, it's simple-it's wrong, therefore don't do it. We're not talking about something inconsequential here-everyone knows it's WRONG. So sad.


I know. These are people without impulse control or empathy, though.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:21     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok, here is my question (which I'm sure no one on this board can really truly answer): WTF is actually going on in their heads when this happens? Are they thinking, hey, this is a GOOD thing I'm doing? This is not hurting this child in any way, so it's fine? Even if the argument is "I'm born that way" (which I happen to believe-I mean, who would CHOOSE to be attracted to little kids?!), they still have free will, and the power of choice. Choosing to indulge in their lust for children is wrong, on every conceivable level. So why do they do it? It's a very scary question when you think about it. It speaks to the fact that they are utterly morally bankrupt. THAT'S what keeps me up at night Well, that, and the thoughts of the kids they molest.


It's a compulsion. They know it's wrong but think they can't help themselves. Some of them swear they'll never do it again, but inevitably, they do. Of course it's wrong, but these are their desires and humans are not particularly good at denying themselves things they like or enjoy. People who are sick like this are particularly good at justifying it to themselves, i.e. "It feels good, it's not hurting them."


pp here. This is what I just can't understand, how they can try to justify that by saying this to themselves. I as a well adjusted person I'll never understand this, because to me, it's simple-it's wrong, therefore don't do it. We're not talking about something inconsequential here-everyone knows it's WRONG. So sad.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:17     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:Ok, here is my question (which I'm sure no one on this board can really truly answer): WTF is actually going on in their heads when this happens? Are they thinking, hey, this is a GOOD thing I'm doing? This is not hurting this child in any way, so it's fine? Even if the argument is "I'm born that way" (which I happen to believe-I mean, who would CHOOSE to be attracted to little kids?!), they still have free will, and the power of choice. Choosing to indulge in their lust for children is wrong, on every conceivable level. So why do they do it? It's a very scary question when you think about it. It speaks to the fact that they are utterly morally bankrupt. THAT'S what keeps me up at night Well, that, and the thoughts of the kids they molest.


It's a compulsion. They know it's wrong but think they can't help themselves. Some of them swear they'll never do it again, but inevitably, they do. Of course it's wrong, but these are their desires and humans are not particularly good at denying themselves things they like or enjoy. People who are sick like this are particularly good at justifying it to themselves, i.e. "It feels good, it's not hurting them."
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:17     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
It's a power/control issue.

Rapists need to control women, and the best way to "get back" at them is through rape.

I had to attend a training session before I was able to volunteer at my child's school. This is what I found out about pedophiles:

Sexual predators are "stuck" at a very immature stage. That's why they prefer young children. Although some men prefer boys over girls, if you notice, they'll pick young boys who haven't fully developed yet - still almost "sexless." Most also have a preferred type.

I'm creeped out typing this. It's beyond gross, and I could barely handle my training session.

I even think a life sentence is too nice. I'd give them the death penalty immediately, as there is no hope in reforming them - EVER.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:05     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Ok, here is my question (which I'm sure no one on this board can really truly answer): WTF is actually going on in their heads when this happens? Are they thinking, hey, this is a GOOD thing I'm doing? This is not hurting this child in any way, so it's fine? Even if the argument is "I'm born that way" (which I happen to believe-I mean, who would CHOOSE to be attracted to little kids?!), they still have free will, and the power of choice. Choosing to indulge in their lust for children is wrong, on every conceivable level. So why do they do it? It's a very scary question when you think about it. It speaks to the fact that they are utterly morally bankrupt. THAT'S what keeps me up at night Well, that, and the thoughts of the kids they molest.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 17:05     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:It's not the strangers I'm worried about, its the people that you come to know and trust. Extended family, coaches, family friends, church members/leaders.
The ones that I wouldn't think twice about leaving my kids with for an outing , etc.
I feel like I need to start considering everyone a threat...[/quote]


This is the approach that I take and I talk to my daughter (age 6) about her encounters with other adults. I use open ended questions and we have a no secrets rule.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 16:59     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
It's not the strangers I'm worried about, its the people that you come to know and trust. Extended family, coaches, family friends, church members/leaders.
The ones that I wouldn't think twice about leaving my kids with for an outing , etc.
I feel like I need to start considering everyone a threat...
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 16:26     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
It's actually not.

As people have pointed out, the sexual offender database also contains those who have assaulted adults, as well as situations where the boy was 19 and the girl was 15. And it's cumulative -- some of these offenses date from years and years ago. Plus many people have their work and home addresses displayed.

Your child has a better chance of being struck by lightening (also common) than being sexually assaulted by a stranger.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 15:52     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
I don't know why it's so prevalent, but it is. That book "Gift of Fear" had statistics about inappropriate contact (which could include both classic types of abuse as well as a 13 year "willingly" dating a 20 year old). I think it was something like almost half of all girls under 18 have inappropriate contact with adults. And a third of all boys do.

Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 15:34     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
back in ancient greece and rome it was somewhat acceptable, and so it was very common. widespread, even. So I'd guess more people have these urges than we would like to believe.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 15:30     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:This may be naive but I like to think most people aren't monsters, but why is something so horrendous so rampant? I would chalk it up to sensational news, but when you check the offender locater websites, they are everywhere! Tons of them!
Is it this common in other countries? I just don't get it. It's really horrifying.


The sex offender website is not just child sex offenders, but rapests, and other offenders. Just FYI.

Also, if you think that there 350 million people in the US give or take - there really are not that many offenders.

Lastly, since sex offenses are often the only type that are available to law enforcement as a tracking tool - it's helpful to be sentanced to a sex offense so you can have to be monitored.

PS: Have you ever wondered about the reentry programs for sex offenders in your community? If you really want to scare yourself - check out the job programs for sex offenders....
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 15:26     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
It's always been this way. The reason we are more aware of it now is because of more access to information and abusers are reported more often.

If I had my way, they'd get a life sentence rather then being released back into society.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 14:30     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
This may be naive but I like to think most people aren't monsters, but why is something so horrendous so rampant? I would chalk it up to sensational news, but when you check the offender locater websites, they are everywhere! Tons of them!
Is it this common in other countries? I just don't get it. It's really horrifying.