You need to visit it yourself before deciding!

I lived in San Fran for 2 years in my 20s. It was great, but I wouldn't want to live there now. You will almost certainly have less space house/apartment-wise, and I think they have a city-wide public school lottery, so you can't guarantee based on where you live that you'll be in a good district. I imagine this would be important to you with 2 school-age kids, and it's one reason my cousin who lives there wound up sending her two to private school.

While I admire you for considering taking the leap, it sounds like you have a very dreamy view of SF, not necessarily a down-to-earth feel of what it will be like for your family to live there. The place is beautiful and unique, but it doesn't mean it's right for you. (it may be of course! but you need to figure that out)

And this is all setting aside your initial question about living there on a modest salary.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, whoops, I used the wrong acronym. We are married. Sorry.

Thanks for the responses. We are a bit wistful because whenever San Fran or Berkeley comes up in conversation with others, people who know it get all dreamy and lovey, like it was Italy or something. I have never been there so I can't say. My husband has visited and was brought out for a round of final interviews so he has more of an opinion. He said it was gorgeous, and also seemed to have a less uptight, less competitive feel.

That said, the two cities seem to have some of the same challenges: long commutes, school quality, high cost of living.

I do know Seattle and Portland and love both. Not sure if they are similar to San Fran or not. We are not DC haters, we both like our DC neighborhood and neighbors here.

We visited San Fran last year for the first time and I totally agree with the dreamy and lovey feeling. If my family were not all on the east coast I would be actively pursuing ways that we could move there.

If it's something you think you might want to do, you should do it. The opportunity is here now and life is short. You can make it work, you just need to do your research. Good luck but don't let the riches on this board hold you back from a great potential experience.

Look into it. Visit. So you want to live in SF? Have kids (I assume not)? Looking to rent or buy? It is definitely more expensive than DC, but commutes can be totally manageable depending on where you live.

I would look into Berkeley and certain areas of Oakland - Rockridge, Temescal, etc. If you live close to BART, commutes to SF are doable.

I don't think you will like Contra Costa county if you are liberal - it is very, very suburban. And you an totally live in SF w/o a car. It would be difficult in the East Bay and impossible in Marin.

My mother's house in the East Bay is valued at about $450k, has a very large yard, 1 mile from a BART sta. in a suburb w/great schools - about 20 mins from downtown SF. it's do-able.

Tiburon is hoity toity Marin Co. You can't live in the Bay Area w/out a car for any length of time w/out going crazy. You can research housing and schools on line. Look at Concord in Contra Costa Co. Look at the BART map for living near commuter train. Look at the prices for riding BART! You can live anywhere you put your mind to it, if you are motivated to make it work. Good luck - I would definitely do it, IMHO (i'm from there).

OP here, whoops, I used the wrong acronym. We are married. Sorry.

Thanks for the responses. We are a bit wistful because whenever San Fran or Berkeley comes up in conversation with others, people who know it get all dreamy and lovey, like it was Italy or something. I have never been there so I can't say. My husband has visited and was brought out for a round of final interviews so he has more of an opinion. He said it was gorgeous, and also seemed to have a less uptight, less competitive feel.

That said, the two cities seem to have some of the same challenges: long commutes, school quality, high cost of living.

I do know Seattle and Portland and love both. Not sure if they are similar to San Fran or not. We are not DC haters, we both like our DC neighborhood and neighbors here.

Anonymous wrote:A $25K paycut to move to a more expensive place? And you're not even married to the guy? Nope. No way.

I agree. Nope, not going to happen.

A $25K paycut to move to a more expensive place? And you're not even married to the guy? Nope. No way.

I'll tell you - my sister and her husband just bought a teeny tiny, three bedroom house that's a total fixer-uper. Tons of work needed to go into it to make it livable for them. It cost $950,000. This wasn't in San Francisco directly but Tiburon.

It is really expensive to live there. I lived there for 10 years though and absolutely loved it. My bigger question is how old are your kids? Where will you be living? The school situation is something you need to look at very carefully as there are many places you could live that you would want your kids to go private vs. public....Just look carefully

It really depends on the lifestyle you are going for. If you are willing to live in a small place (apartment), go without a car (easy to do there) - you should be all right. If you want a nice size house, a yard, two cars... not so much.

It would be tough but if you were to go back to work that could be a real game changer. Is the job in the City proper? What is your field/how llikely are you to find something? You don't sound happy here. If you think the move is better for your family long-term, I would try to make it work. One caveat: if SFH homeownership is important to you that's probably not happening unless you go pretty far out (90 mins from city at that income).

If things would be tight on 110K here, then it will be harder in SF. Housing alone is crazy expensive.

My SO has an offer for a new job in San Francisco. It would be an interesting job for him and a good change from his current fed job. He would take a pay cut from his current 135K plus fed benefits. I am transitioning from SAH and looking for a job here, so I would switch to looking out there. So, no guarantees on when I would be adding to our income, and he would still be the primary earner in either place.

We both feel San Fran would be a better fit for us and a better quality of life, but would it just be too stressful on such a tight budget? Our understanding is that it is even more expensive than this area, and also with long commutes.

Can any San Fran experts shed some light? We are leaning towards staying in the DC area (sigh) as it is probably the more responsible choice. We have a 2nd grader and a K. Thanks.