Anonymous wrote:I enrolle my DCs in a private school that doesn't have dances.

Really, what school is that? Most of the private schools seem to have multiple dances and mixers.

Our MCPS only has one dance a year, which is homecoming. Of course there is prom, but that's only seniors and their dates. It seems like most kids kind of blow through homecoming - more of the event is the pre dance dinner, and I guess the after parties.

I'm 17:09. My kid went to the Blair dance and said s/he hated the both music and the dancing. I've seen the Blair listserve debate on this, although I haven't wanted to post because I don't want to out my kid. But now's my chance to post anonymously....

According to the Blair listserve, some kids left after 1/2 hour, and others didn't come at all. My kid and friends were laughing about the grinding and the music they hated, but they stuck it out to the bitter end (i.e., the 1-hour wait for coats). But if the music and dancing are catering to one part of the school community, but keeping other kids away completely, then it's not serving the goal of bringing the school community together for homecoming, is it?

Both my kids - one MS, one HS - insist that kids won't dance any other way, and that it's pointless to try. I too doubt ballroom lessons would help a kid out in a situation where everybody else is grinding and the music is the sort of techno stuff you can't bust out dance moves to.

But the music should be mixed up a little, so there's some non-grindable music in the mix. My DC says that ALL the music at Blair's homecoming was techno-stuff you grind to and can't dance any other way to. Apparently some committee of students controlled the music, and although kids put requests in for different types of music, their requests were ignored. If you diversify the music, then kids would at least have an OPTION once in a while of boogying or slow dancing (when did kids stop appreciating the possibilities of slow dancing?) or whatever for some of the time. The kids who just want to grind can roll their eyes and sit this one out -- fair's fair, let's spread the musical snobbery around a bit.

So ... take another look at the kids that make up the music committee, and make it more "diverse" in the sense of representing kids with indie and rock tastes too. Heck, if you gave the dance a 60s or 80s theme, then they'd have to play 60s or 80s music at least some of the time, and kids would might even dance that way at least some of the time. Anyway, I have a hard time imagining kids grinding to "Total Eclipse of the Heart," so they'd be standing and talking instead - and breaking up the grinding for even 10 minutes isn't the worst thing in the world.

I enrolle my DCs in a private school that doesn't have dances.

I enrolled my DCs in dance classes so they will have real dance moves for things like this.

We don't let them drink on school property, even though we know they are drinking at kids' homes on the weekend.

Let them be kids! They are doing the nasty for real anyway!

Now that its homecoming season the perennial topic of whether or not kids should be allowed to grind at school-sponsored events has sprung up among parents at Sidwell and Blair among other places. Do your schools allow kids to choose the song list? chaperone the dance floor? other?