Anonymous wrote:This is the OP -- These gems rarely ever come from friends. I have a lot of colleagues with younger children than I have so I hear a lot of it from them.

And it goes like this

CW: How was your weekend?
Me: Great. Busy. We had to drop off Mary at her bff's birthday in Arlington and then I had to be back home to meet the landscaper for an estimate and my husband took Logan to his fencing finals. That is the last time I let my husband near the scheduling duties!
CW: *Shaking head* You really dropped off Mary in Arlington? For a party? I would have cancelled the estimate. There is NO WAY I will EVER leave Samantha at a birthday party. EVER. You just never know what might happen!

Mary is in upper elementary school and Samantha is in diapers.

And yes, I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with a couple of my examples, but not a whole lot. My husband has a cousin whom we see infrequently, but my MIL had prepared some God-awful meal (like liver and onions, but not). It was like rare chicken with cold lumpy mashed potatoes and canned green beans. I did not want to eat it and I knew my children wouldn't eat it and I don't force feed them. They eat what they eat and generally the next meal is in 6 hours. This was so bad I knew I wasn't going to eat it and that I would be fixing myself something else when we went home. My husband made the colossal mistake of telling his cousin that we would be fixing something else back at our place if they wanted to come over later. Well, I got an hour long lecture on the evils of short order cooking and recommendations for books. The works. Her kid is eating Gerber from a jar. WTF does she know about kid friendly meals?

Those are a couple of examples.

OP, next time, just answer with a "great" and nice smile.

Op, you're cracking me up. And fo' realz, if I go to someone's house who is cooking liver and onions, I pray to baby jesus that someone is kind enough to be my "short order cook" before we go. Ick.

Anonymous wrote:Ah, just look at it this way...I've found that I've paid for nearly every "I would never" I've ever uttered in my life. Give them an "mmm-hmm" and know that they'll most likely be eating their words before too long.

I like to use the phrase, "Well, bless your heart!"

Ewwwwwww. I feel for ya, OP.

This is the OP -- These gems rarely ever come from friends. I have a lot of colleagues with younger children than I have so I hear a lot of it from them.

And it goes like this

CW: How was your weekend?
Me: Great. Busy. We had to drop off Mary at her bff's birthday in Arlington and then I had to be back home to meet the landscaper for an estimate and my husband took Logan to his fencing finals. That is the last time I let my husband near the scheduling duties!
CW: *Shaking head* You really dropped off Mary in Arlington? For a party? I would have cancelled the estimate. There is NO WAY I will EVER leave Samantha at a birthday party. EVER. You just never know what might happen!

Mary is in upper elementary school and Samantha is in diapers.

And yes, I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with a couple of my examples, but not a whole lot. My husband has a cousin whom we see infrequently, but my MIL had prepared some God-awful meal (like liver and onions, but not). It was like rare chicken with cold lumpy mashed potatoes and canned green beans. I did not want to eat it and I knew my children wouldn't eat it and I don't force feed them. They eat what they eat and generally the next meal is in 6 hours. This was so bad I knew I wasn't going to eat it and that I would be fixing myself something else when we went home. My husband made the colossal mistake of telling his cousin that we would be fixing something else back at our place if they wanted to come over later. Well, I got an hour long lecture on the evils of short order cooking and recommendations for books. The works. Her kid is eating Gerber from a jar. WTF does she know about kid friendly meals?

Those are a couple of examples.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never drop my child off for a birthday party at the age of 8.

I would never tell another parent not to bring their younger children to an event for older kids that is being paid for by one family.

I would never buy my child a hand held electronic device.

I never let my child watch TV and I never will.

I will never allow my child to eat anything other than homemade, organic, free range food. Birthday cake is the DEVIL!

I will never allow my child to play with any toy that is not made of wood. Fair trade wood of course.

I will never make my child a separate meal for dinner. If the grandparents are serving liver and onions, that is what my child will eat...if the liver and onions are organic, grass fed, and locally sourced of course.

We will never have to use time outs or consequences. We will use only positive discipline techniques because our three month old only cries when she is hungry or wet so we won't ever need to really discipline her. And she behaves this way at three months because clearly we are better parents than you are.

I could go on and on.

Damn right!

LOL!!! Yea, she had me until this one!!!

Seriously. Please don't let these be your friends. They sound awful. That said, I find my friends' without kids sayings on how they'll parent fairly hilarious. They have no idea what they are talking about because they haven't been through it. We were the same way. We've eaten ours words plenty (though none as obnoxious as those you listed, just unrealistic about parenthood).

Anonymous wrote:I would never drop my child off for a birthday party at the age of 8.

I would never tell another parent not to bring their younger children to an event for older kids that is being paid for by one family.

I would never buy my child a hand held electronic device.

I never let my child watch TV and I never will.

I will never allow my child to eat anything other than homemade, organic, free range food. Birthday cake is the DEVIL!

I will never allow my child to play with any toy that is not made of wood. Fair trade wood of course.

I will never make my child a separate meal for dinner. If the grandparents are serving liver and onions, that is what my child will eat...if the liver and onions are organic, grass fed, and locally sourced of course.

We will never have to use time outs or consequences. We will use only positive discipline techniques because our three month old only cries when she is hungry or wet so we won't ever need to really discipline her. And she behaves this way at three months because clearly we are better parents than you are.

I could go on and on.

oh come on. No one is actually saying all these things. And if they really are telling you that birthday cake is the devil, not implying it, actually saying it, you need new friends.

Anonymous wrote:I would never drop my child off for a birthday party at the age of 8.

I would never tell another parent not to bring their younger children to an event for older kids that is being paid for by one family.

I would never buy my child a hand held electronic device.

I never let my child watch TV and I never will.

I will never allow my child to eat anything other than homemade, organic, free range food. Birthday cake is the DEVIL!

I will never allow my child to play with any toy that is not made of wood. Fair trade wood of course.

I will never make my child a separate meal for dinner. If the grandparents are serving liver and onions, that is what my child will eat...if the liver and onions are organic, grass fed, and locally sourced of course.

We will never have to use time outs or consequences. We will use only positive discipline techniques because our three month old only cries when she is hungry or wet so we won't ever need to really discipline her. And she behaves this way at three months because clearly we are better parents than you are.

I could go on and on.

Damn right!

I'm the mother of a toddler, and I would hope that if I really tried to tell a parent of a kid substantially older than mine any of those things, that the parent would kick me in the shin and tell me to shut my hole.

Ah, just look at it this way...I've found that I've paid for nearly every "I would never" I've ever uttered in my life. Give them an "mmm-hmm" and know that they'll most likely be eating their words before too long.

I would never drop my child off for a birthday party at the age of 8.

I would never tell another parent not to bring their younger children to an event for older kids that is being paid for by one family.

I would never buy my child a hand held electronic device.

I never let my child watch TV and I never will.

I will never allow my child to eat anything other than homemade, organic, free range food. Birthday cake is the DEVIL!

I will never allow my child to play with any toy that is not made of wood. Fair trade wood of course.

I will never make my child a separate meal for dinner. If the grandparents are serving liver and onions, that is what my child will eat...if the liver and onions are organic, grass fed, and locally sourced of course.

We will never have to use time outs or consequences. We will use only positive discipline techniques because our three month old only cries when she is hungry or wet so we won't ever need to really discipline her. And she behaves this way at three months because clearly we are better parents than you are.

I could go on and on.

Oops meant "I would nevers"

What are some of the I nevers?

I know that many of us hate hearing unsolicited advice from nearly every source. I know it irks me, but does anyone just really hate unsolicited advice from parents who have only substantially younger children than yours? It drives me nuts. And I have started writing down when a parent of an infant or toddler tells me that, "I would never..." I swear when they ever do what they said that they would never do, they are getting an email from me with a big fat "I told you so."

Thank you. Vent over.