"But even jeans can be reshaped by a good tailor"

Oh that's silly - I just bought a nice pair of Gap jeans on sale for $35. If your jeans are really that big, and your DH can't deal with you buying one or two new pairs over the next month or two, he has issues.

Anonymous wrote:I think you all are right about the fit. I need to find a good tailor. Like I realized last night that I had just put on these old jeans of mine that I used to love and I can literally pull them on without unbuttoning them. They need to go. But then I would need to buy new jeans to replace them.

He might just like that

But even jeans can be reshaped by a good tailor

I think you all are right about the fit. I need to find a good tailor. Like I realized last night that I had just put on these old jeans of mine that I used to love and I can literally pull them on without unbuttoning them. They need to go. But then I would need to buy new jeans to replace them.

Anonymous wrote:It might also be that you feel more attractive and confident in a new outfit and he picks up on that. Also, it sounds like your body has changed and your new clothes fit better than your old clothes, which probably look baggy. It may not matter to him that they are new. It seems reasonable to buy new clothes when what you have doesn't fit right or isn't comfortable--hopefully he'll understand, especially because you need a fair number of new clothes now but you won't be frequently buying new clothes in the future.

I meant that it may not matter to him that your new clothes are new, and the thing he likes about them is that they fit in a flattering way.

Also, if the fit is the issue due to your new proportions, tailoring is less expensive than buying new

Anonymous wrote:Ok I'll take that as an honest question. Honestly I think I look pretty good. But I do feel better if I have a nice outfit on and he seems to respond better to new outfits than the same ones over and over. I don't wear a ton of makeup - usually just mascara, powder and lip gloss, but that stuff costs money too.

Your DH is shallow, he should pay for the new outfits.

It might also be that you feel more attractive and confident in a new outfit and he picks up on that. Also, it sounds like your body has changed and your new clothes fit better than your old clothes, which probably look baggy. It may not matter to him that they are new. It seems reasonable to buy new clothes when what you have doesn't fit right or isn't comfortable--hopefully he'll understand, especially because you need a fair number of new clothes now but you won't be frequently buying new clothes in the future.

TheManWithAUsername wrote:You might want to look for the thread in the explicit forum about what men notice. Like TSFG said, I think clothes are some of the least important things.

If you think he responds well to nice outfits, he may just be responding to an obvious sign of effort; that's a big turn-on for me. You can show effort with just makeup or by doing your hair as opposed to putting it back.

I think it's the rare man who's going to notice a big difference in clothing based on cost. Fashion is for women and gay men.

That said, the underwear may be important, depending on what kind of attention you're trying to attract.

Thanks for your helpful and honest post! I bet your right - it's the effort he's responding to. Thanks

You might want to look for the thread in the explicit forum about what men notice. Like TSFG said, I think clothes are some of the least important things.

If you think he responds well to nice outfits, he may just be responding to an obvious sign of effort; that's a big turn-on for me. You can show effort with just makeup or by doing your hair as opposed to putting it back.

I think it's the rare man who's going to notice a big difference in clothing based on cost. Fashion is for women and gay men.

That said, the underwear may be important, depending on what kind of attention you're trying to attract.

OP again - I do go to the gym every day at work and do my own nails. I get that that stuff is important. My body has changed so much through two pregnancies though. I'm actually thinner than I was before I had kids and all my clothes are too big, I don't have any bras that fit, I want sexier underwear, etc.

Thrift-shop accessories to make old outfits look new will work if you don't like thrift shop clothes. Otherwise - do go the thrift shop route entirely! Half-price days at Goodwill can net you a lot of stuff for much less.

Why is it always about clothes and shoes? Why not the things like excercise and basic at home "spa" treatments to keep you in good shape with glowing healthy skin?

Clothes and shoes are "adornments" while a healthy body and skin are you and it's about keeping you feeling attractive

Ok I'll take that as an honest question. Honestly I think I look pretty good. But I do feel better if I have a nice outfit on and he seems to respond better to new outfits than the same ones over and over. I don't wear a ton of makeup - usually just mascara, powder and lip gloss, but that stuff costs money too.

How fugly are you without spending money on personal upkeep or attire?

I think this makes me sound like a kept woman with a controlling husband, but really that's not how it is. My husband, perhaps obviously, really responds well and treats me better when I look good. I don't think this is probably abnormal - when he is attracted to me, he is more interested. But we're also big savers and every few months do these spending freezes where we don't spend any unnecessary money. Even when we're not in a "freeze" we both hesitate to spend extra money and I know he gets bothered if I buy new clothes or shoes. I'm struggling to feel attractive while not spending any money on personal upkeep or attire. How do you stay and feel sexy on the cheap?