Litmus Test: Ask yourself if your spouse would feel uncomfortable with the level of your feelings toward or emotional intimacy with this other person. And ask yourself if you hide anything about the relationship from your spouse. If the answer is yes to either, you are crossing the line into emotional cheating, and have some serious thinking to do. It's an extremely slippery slope into an affair from here.

What if you're not so sure the feelings are reciprocated? If the relationship is intense and deep but feelings between the two of you are never discussed and the other person is actively talking about wanting to find a significant other?

These were all good answers. Now, if you are interested, these are the emotional affair signs, hope it helps!

http://how-to-save-marriage.org/emotional-affair-signs/[url]

Sounds like Charlie was being duplicitous with Sadie, though, given the depth of their relationship you'd have expected him to mention his partner.

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only an emotional affair if it's mutual.

True, then it's just a crush, but then crushes can get very emotional as well.

Kind of. MY BFF - let's call her Sadie- had an emotional affair with a closeted gay guy - lets call him charlie. Well Charlie never came out to Sadie. They talked on the phone hours a day. Spent a lot of time at work together. Went out at night - for dinner or to bars. Charlie's partner knew about Sadie, but Sadie didn't tell her husband. Sadie left her husband expecting things to heat up with Charlie. They never did. Sadie found out recently Charlie is gay from a mutual friend. Sadie's married to someone else. She wasn't that upset.

Good points 15:18 and 15:20!

Anonymous wrote:It's only an emotional affair if it's mutual.

True, then it's just a crush, but then crushes can get very emotional as well.

It's only an emotional affair if it's mutual.

PP - OP here. I am thinking about this guy ALL THE TIME. It sucks. I think I am bored in my marriage and would never have sex with the guy (married, 3 kids) but am growing very attached to other guy. 12 year itch or whatever? Who knows...

If you think you are then probably you are. Does this person know things about your day to day thoughts that your spouse doesn't. Do you find yourself thinking about the other person during idle moments.

OP here. Thanks. I may be having an emotional affair but I am not really being secretive or deceptive.

An emotional affair is when one partner shares emotional intimacy with someone other than their spouse, in a way that takes away from their primary relationship. It is characterized by secrecy and deception.

In simplest terms, when you have strong feelings for another person outside of your current relationship that go beyond freindship. But, you are not having sex with that person.

When you fall in love with someone else but there's nothing physical.

can someone explain/elaborate on what an emotional affair is?