Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may win for the most annoyingly obnoxious poster ever. Your first post is pure rhetoric; there is absolutely no content, and the question is unanswerable. The follow-up just makes you look like an insufferable asshole.

The question isn't rhetorical. Many parents on this site ,"private school forum" are on here because we are trying to find out things about a school that we may be considering applying to for our DC. Admissions directors will share their perspective of a school,but personally I think that what a parent who has had their child in the school for 12 years has to say is invaluable. So I posed the question about something that matters to me: not "what percentage of graduate from X school go on to Ivy or top 25 school is US according to what some magazine has researched, a subject which gets a lot of air time on this forum ,BTW,but rather at what schools did parents feel that their teens were encouraged by the atmosphere of the school to really develop and get a sense of themselves. I would also welcome feedback from HS Seniors as to how well they feel that they are prepared to choose a coarse of study in college and what experiences in their school years led them to make that discovery. I am not soliciting bashing of a school. I'm more hoping to hear positive comments about a given school in the following list : Sidwell,Maret,GDS, Cathedral Schools. Thanks for staying positive.

As long as my child learns to write better than you, I will be happy. This overwritten and unedited dribble is just obnoxious. Edit all your posts to 1/3 of what you originally write and you might get the answers you want, and you will be less annoying.

I guess you have no response to the content of my question. I've noticed that, in this forum, when someone hits a nerve with a question people often attack say a grammatical error in the post rather than confront the content with their point of view. Doesn't anyone else in this town think that it is a damn shame that after 14 years and $400,000 spent all you get out is a someone who, though almost 21 years old, is more concerned with what people will think of them for their college choice than what they are actually interested in.?? Any one? I think it is pathetic and would like to avoid sending DD to a school that turns out same. Perhaps it is just one kid? If so, can someone please post what role they think their DC's school or teachers played helping their DC find of a field of study that their young adult child now wants to pursue in college.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are WAAAYYY overthinking this. Every good school is going to have kids who are self-possessed and secure in themselves and kids who are insecure and obsessed with what others think. And I'm not sure it's even the school that has the most influence on this. Parents who are perpetually aking where the people in their lives and their children go/went to school have at least as much impact. It saddens me when elementary school kids already know the hierarchy of top colleges...that comes from the parents.

I agree 100%. As a lifer at private schools, I can tell you a dirty little secret that private school kids are just like kids everywhere! They care what others think about them, they are teenagers. Going to a private school does not make them any more/less mature, that all depends on the child and their own personal lives.

I can also tell you that I knew parents who got upset because their kids didn't go to the name schools that they wanted them to go to . They (the parents) were embarrassed about what their friends would think!

OP, you are WAAAYYY overthinking this. Every good school is going to have kids who are self-possessed and secure in themselves and kids who are insecure and obsessed with what others think. And I'm not sure it's even the school that has the most influence on this. Parents who are perpetually aking where the people in their lives and their children go/went to school have at least as much impact. It saddens me when elementary school kids already know the hierarchy of top colleges...that comes from the parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may win for the most annoyingly obnoxious poster ever. Your first post is pure rhetoric; there is absolutely no content, and the question is unanswerable. The follow-up just makes you look like an insufferable asshole.

The question isn't rhetorical. Many parents on this site ,"private school forum" are on here because we are trying to find out things about a school that we may be considering applying to for our DC. Admissions directors will share their perspective of a school,but personally I think that what a parent who has had their child in the school for 12 years has to say is invaluable. So I posed the question about something that matters to me: not "what percentage of graduate from X school go on to Ivy or top 25 school is US according to what some magazine has researched, a subject which gets a lot of air time on this forum ,BTW,but rather at what schools did parents feel that their teens were encouraged by the atmosphere of the school to really develop and get a sense of themselves. I would also welcome feedback from HS Seniors as to how well they feel that they are prepared to choose a coarse of study in college and what experiences in their school years led them to make that discovery. I am not soliciting bashing of a school. I'm more hoping to hear positive comments about a given school in the following list : Sidwell,Maret,GDS, Cathedral Schools. Thanks for staying positive.

As long as my child learns to write better than you, I will be happy. This overwritten and unedited dribble is just obnoxious. Edit all your posts to 1/3 of what you originally write and you might get the answers you want, and you will be less annoying.

Anonymous wrote:You may win for the most annoyingly obnoxious poster ever. Your first post is pure rhetoric; there is absolutely no content, and the question is unanswerable. The follow-up just makes you look like an insufferable asshole.

The question isn't rhetorical. Many parents on this site ,"private school forum" are on here because we are trying to find out things about a school that we may be considering applying to for our DC. Admissions directors will share their perspective of a school,but personally I think that what a parent who has had their child in the school for 12 years has to say is invaluable. So I posed the question about something that matters to me: not "what percentage of graduate from X school go on to Ivy or top 25 school is US according to what some magazine has researched, a subject which gets a lot of air time on this forum ,BTW,but rather at what schools did parents feel that their teens were encouraged by the atmosphere of the school to really develop and get a sense of themselves. I would also welcome feedback from HS Seniors as to how well they feel that they are prepared to choose a coarse of study in college and what experiences in their school years led them to make that discovery. I am not soliciting bashing of a school. I'm more hoping to hear positive comments about a given school in the following list : Sidwell,Maret,GDS, Cathedral Schools. Thanks for staying positive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Way to judge someone else's child. Not sure why you got so worked up over this. Sounds to me like parents and guidance counselor are pushing the kid to choose a school he doesn't want and he is showing the maturity to say no to them. It is his life.

Its actually sort of funny that you spent all this virtual ink condemning the kid for saying he cares what others think (and my guess is that his reasoning is actually more complex than that) and here you are, one of the "others" who are judging him.

I say right on kid, and boo to you.

A mature reason would be: But, I told you I am not interested in Harvard, I want to go to a small liberal arts school . Not, " I can't apply there, what if I get in and end up going there and people at ( insert name of Big 3 school ) find out. The later is very immature. A parent choosing schools may want to avoid a school that turns out same.

But why do you care?

Most kids that age are not intellectually mature. They care about what people think of them because they are still pretty self-centered. Their parents might add to this by vocalizing how important "status" is by material possessions. I've heard parents say many things in front of their kids like "Don't wear that. You look like a homeless person." or "That school is full of weirdos." Etc. Kids internalize this after many years of it.

You may win for the most annoyingly obnoxious poster ever. Your first post is pure rhetoric; there is absolutely no content, and the question is unanswerable. The follow-up just makes you look like an insufferable asshole.

How intellectually mature is the average poster on DCUM?

The snobbery and rush to judgement displayed on many threads here, including your own OP, surely exceeds what shocked you.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Way to judge someone else's child. Not sure why you got so worked up over this. Sounds to me like parents and guidance counselor are pushing the kid to choose a school he doesn't want and he is showing the maturity to say no to them. It is his life.

Its actually sort of funny that you spent all this virtual ink condemning the kid for saying he cares what others think (and my guess is that his reasoning is actually more complex than that) and here you are, one of the "others" who are judging him.

I say right on kid, and boo to you.

A mature reason would be: But, I told you I am not interested in Harvard, I want to go to a small liberal arts school . Not, " I can't apply there, what if I get in and end up going there and people at ( insert name of Big 3 school ) find out. The later is very immature. A parent choosing schools may want to avoid a school that turns out same.

Wow. Way to judge someone else's child. Not sure why you got so worked up over this. Sounds to me like parents and guidance counselor are pushing the kid to choose a school he doesn't want and he is showing the maturity to say no to them. It is his life.

Its actually sort of funny that you spent all this virtual ink condemning the kid for saying he cares what others think (and my guess is that his reasoning is actually more complex than that) and here you are, one of the "others" who are judging him.

I say right on kid, and boo to you.

I am the OP and here is my concern and why I am submitting my question to this forum: Recently a parent of a "Big 3" school shared with me that her DC did not want to apply such and such college... This prospective college was one parents and guidance counsellors thought would be a good fit. The reason the 19 year old did not want to apply was,"I can't apply there, what would people say if I get in and people at my school find out". I was shocked that , at the age of 19, a young adult would be so immature that they would still be placing more value on "what will people think of me" than on simply knowing what they want and wanting to "get on with it" and happily being willing to share same. It shocks me that after presumable 14 years of being supported in their learning in an academically rigorous private someone would still be so passive and immature. So, my question is: If you are a parent with a child who is a senior in one of these schools what is your sense of how the schools encourage the kids to spend some time finding out who they are and what they want of of life. After all, what so and so thinks about where I will be going to college really doesn't mean a damn,but caring more about that than having the courage to be who you are is a HUGE problem. If the parents who have been there or the teenagers themselves ( we all know they are on this forum) care to share which schools really get the students to reflect on their paths of interest and which are infused with the type of culture where it is more common to measure yourself against what your classmate is doing,please share.

Anonymous wrote:OMG

speechless

Your point is ?

OMG

speechless

Obviously,the quality of the curriculum at all of the above named schools is strong. Some may even argue that these schools are more similar than different.Here is my question: if you have a lifer at Sidwell, Maret,GDS or Cathedral Schools, how prepared do you think your HS senior is to be the steward of their future in terms of future intellectual pursuits and professional career path? In other words, how well have they developed their own particular gifts and how mature are they in terms of knowing what those are? How comfortable are they in their own skin and to what extent to you attribute this to quality of the teachers and intellectual atmosphere at the school they attended ? Do they have a good grasp of who they are or are they simply a straight A student with umteen extracurriculars who doesn't have a clue?