http://www.rentlaw.com/dep/vadeposit.htm has some great information re: landlord/tenant laws.
No need to dispute whether or not the wear was "normal" or not. The landlord forfeited her right to withhold any portion of your security deposit when she failed to give you written notification within 45 days of your lease end. Send her a certified letter, along with a print-out of the Virginia tenancy laws that addresses this (Section 55-248.15:1 of the VRLTA) and tell her that she has 15 days to pay the remaining deposit due. Let her know that in the event of nonpayment, you will be filing a suit in small claims court.
BTW, did she pay the $1k by check? If so, don't cash it.