OP = I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I started a new job in May that I am absolutely miserable in, and, like you, am a terrible match.

Good luck tomorrow. I'm dreading Monday as well. Can you post and let us know the outcome?

OP - I'm 12:55 and I work in HR. Your probationary period has nothing to do with receiving unemployment. Generally in MD, VA, and DC you can collect unemployment if you are terminated (there are exceptions including cause, abandoning your job, and you are not eligible to receive unemployment for any weeks that you have been given severance). The only thing that your length of employment has to do with unemployment is that businesses pay unemployment tax and if you have not worked at your company for enough quarters for that business to have paid enough tax for your unemployment than the state takes the funds from your previous employer's taxes that they have paid. It's complicated, but this does not impact you as the receiver and it is handled by the jurisdiction that you apply to.

I've dealt with many employees in your situation where they are just not a good fit. It's part of life and please do not let it discourage you. Fortunately I have always worked for companies that understand when an employee is not a good fit it is best to acknowledge that, give the employee a period of time to improve, and if they cannot then to allow them to leave with their dignity and one month's pay.

Don't quit. It'll be easier to find a new job from a current one, even if it's a bad fit, than to get one while unemployed.

OP here. It became clear to me pretty quickly that this isn't the job I thought it was going to be, and I've been trying to do my best given the fact that this job and I are totally mis-matched -- checking in with my supervisor about assignments, clarifying expectations, etc etc. I thought I was doing okay (not great, but okay) but then on Friday she gave me a memo and cc'd HR saying that she wasn't satisfied with my performance and that if this continued additional action would be taken, up to and including termination of employment. And now tomorrow is Monday, and I feel like I need a plan. I'm also not sure if I'd be eligible for unemployment since I'm still in my probationary period. What a mess.

I agree -- don't quit. You will forfeit too many of your rights. Look actively for a job. Do your best at this job.

What is the problem exactly -- is it that you aren't suited for the work itself or more a personality issue with the boss, co-workers, etc.?

Has anyone actually said anything to you about your performance, or is this more a gut feeling?

Op - One thing to keep in mind is that if you quit you will not be eligible for unemployment. I know you mentioned that you and your husband could handle a bit of time without you working and you think you have promising job leads. However, please really think about this - we are still in a bad economic situation and I would want to protect all my rights if possible.

I'm not clear from your post about HR. Have they confirmed that when they provide references they always state whether the person is available for rehire? As another poster mentioned most companies are afraid of litigation and just stick to yes the person was employed, yes those were their employment dates, and yes that was their title.

I would actively continue to look for a new job and continue to perform to the best of your ability. If your supervisor opens up the subject of you leaving then you should definitely try to negotiate a neutral reference and at least 2 weeks (hopefully a month) of pay.

11:49 - I was thinking of trying that approach. Like, tomorrow.

Do you think you could be up front with your current employer and tell them that you realize it's not a good fit and that you'd appreciate being able to work until you find another job? It may sound naive but I've actually done it as a manager. No one likes to fire someone and if you're in a position where you can continue to work while you line something up, it could be a win-win for everyone. I say that because you sound pretty convinced that the axe is going to fall. What do you have to lose? They might even respect you a bit more for it.

This is a very difficult position and I feel for you. It happened to me, I was given the choice of being fired or accepting a month's severence pay and give up rights to file complaint with EEOC. I let them fire me because I knew I would win with EEOC and I did. I also won the law suit brought against them. Mine was a clear cut case of retaliation because I had reported a Sr. VP for sending me an email that was clear-cut porn.

I don't know your situation and only you can make the decision. However, there is nothing worse than being in a job you hate. Personally, I would beat them to the draw and resign and give them a month's notice. Maybe they will let you go and give you the money. Keep it positive and kiss their corporate rear. Best of luck.

No advice but want to wish you the best. GL!

Thanks, PP - that's a helpful reminder re: fear of litigation. Thing is, I have about 5 weeks left in my probationary period (I haven't even been there 3 months yet and I already know I need to leave, it's that bad!), so I don't really feel like they'd honor a request like that - it would be different if I'd been there for a while. I know they're under no obligation to keep me on staff for the next 5 weeks, but maybe it would look 'cleaner' from their perspective if I finish out the 12 weeks and then separate --? But more likely they don't care about that.

I know I won't be in this job much longer - I guess it's just a question of who initiates my departure and when.

DH thinks I should absolutely not leave this job without something else lined up -- and of course I get where he's coming from! We would be all right for a few months but god, it would suck. I think that I should be the one to give notice, preserve my record with HR (though I don't plan to put this job on my resume you never know what a background check will turn up), and turn my attention 100% to finding a new job.

I have never been in a situation like this before and it is totally awful. I have knots in my stomach just thinking about tomorrow being Monday! Yuck. Thanks again for any advice or words of wisdom.

If u quit, just leave this place off your resume. It is only two months unaccounted for, so I do not think it will seem conspicuous. Good luck!

Even if you are fired, or asked to leave, you can still negotiate a neutral reference which includes the things you are talking about. You are not powerless. Employers are very afraid of litigation after firing based on discrimination (sex, race, age, etc). If you are fired or asked to leave, you can simply begin a dialogue that states in so many words "Okay Jay, I am in agreement with you that it is time for me to leave and I will go and pack my boxes. I will have nothing but good things to say about my time at Hirem, Drainham, and Dumpem. In return, here is what I would like from you: Four weeks of severance pay (assuming they haven't offered better); a neutral reference that does not state I am precluded from rehire; no negative employment references given either directly or indirectly in the industry and (whatever else you think you need). Do we have a deal?"

You are not powerless.

No advice, but wishing you good luck. I hope one of this board's HR professionals can weigh in ...

Here is my situation: I am two months into a new job and it is most definitely not working out. I know it, my boss knows it, it's crappy. I need to get out of there ASAP and I have a few good leads on new jobs already in the works, but I know nothing is guaranteed and financially, I'm not really in a position where I can leave this job without something else lined up. But I'm worried that I will be 'asked to leave' and then, should any future employer conduct a background check and learn about my brief stint with this company, they will call HR to get my dates of employment and find out that I am not eligible for re-hire -- and I think that would be a really bad mark on my employment record going forward. So the idea of giving my notice preemptively (like this week, or even tomorrow) is really appealing -- at least that way I would still be 'eligible for re-hire' (according to HR) -- but of course, I don't have a new job yet (though I do have a very promising interview next week).

So. WWYD? Try to stick it out in the crappy job until you get a new job and then give your notice (and hope you don't get fired in the meantime) or give your notice preemptively (to preserve your record with HR) and work like crazy to get something else lined up ASAP?

Ugh. Thanks.