Anonymous wrote:could it be b/c they've a) grown up; b) don't have super little kids and try to validate all their decisions by harshly judging others?

It's because we're finally "found outselves" and know that we don't have to prove or have the approval of everyone. If we can look at ourelves in the mirror everyday and have self-respect for that image, then we are well ahead of the game. We've lived long enough to know and accept what is important and real and what we want in our lives. We also understand that you really can't have everything and we know how to be grateful for what we have and be grateful for our friends and family, no matter how crazy they may be,or how crazy we may be. I think this is what happiness boils down to an acceptance of self and others, doing our best, and this can bring us peace and content'tment.

I don't know. I have said mean things but only after I felt pushed into it by another poster. No excuse, I know, but I'm not sure this nicer forum is nicer because of the age of the participants.

Sometimes the tone in certain negative statements sounds familiar so I wonder if there are a few negative posters who just go to town on every thread rather than many negative posters.

I would like to think that had I been on DCUM in my 30s I still wouldn't have been one of the meanies. I just don't get it. I had also noticed the tenor of this forum is nicer. I just wish there were a few more posts.

Anonymous wrote:Trace?

You know. Like track down the owner of the post.

Trace?

I am old enough to know that someday someone could trace every comment made on DCUM and I don't want to look too much like a fool.

I think that as you get older you realize "life is short". Some people truly do mellow with age (I know, not everyone does) but I believe most people have mellowed simply due to the breadth of our experiences. The longer we are on this earth the more people we come in contact with makes us more accepting to everyone's differences. I am defiately more open minded at 47 than I was at 27; and I felt that I was open minded then!

Mellow ... or arthritic. I'm 50-something, I like this forum, too!

I have high hopes for this forum. Of course, I also had high hopes for the College forum when it was created. Yet just when posters started saying how much they liked their new college forum, as opposed to having to talk about colleges on the uber-b@tchy private school forum, some posters started trashing other peoples' colleges.

I guess some forums are naturally better or worse than others. I sometimes visit the Special Needs forum when I want to see women being helpful and supportive of each other. The college forum is still better than many others here. But enter a forum where lifestyles, private schools or religion is being discussed, and ... ugh.... I'm hoping this forum won't attract the self-absorbed and the b@tchy.

I agree. I had asked Jeff for this forum when I noticed how young many parents were on DCUM from the how old are you thread.
I had to assume that some of the meanies were stressed out in some kind of way. Perhaps from the whole starting out with the new homes and jobs and so on.
The cursing was over the top.
Also, lack of tolerance and rush to judge trolls and so on. Very sensitive, but on another level, insensitive to others. I don't know what you call that.
I suppose that I was like that when I was younger as an 80's yuppie.
Even though I have young children, I am older and see things in a different way.

so much for being nicer...

We also have more serious/ interesting issues to "discuss," other than "are we crazy to plan an overnight trip with a three week old" kinds of things...!

I've noticed that too.

I think people mellow as they get older.

could it be b/c they've a) grown up; b) don't have super little kids and try to validate all their decisions by harshly judging others?

i am in my 30s but i like it better here.