Anonymous wrote:I think your best money spent will be on one parent staying home FT until school starts.

Disagree. I think the most crucial time for one parent to be at home is when your child is in middle school. Their peers have become far more influential then; their hormones are going crazy; and those are the years that they can get into really bad stuff. Being present is essential then.

Private elementary school was my best investment.

I think the difference between a good public and a good private high school is much less than the difference between a private and a public college/university. I don't think it was always this way, but most of the "Public Ivies" have had their budgets slashed so much that they aren't providing the same quality of education they used to.

I also think there are a lot of ways to make this work, and chances are your children are going to think their way was the right way. I went to great public schools and then a private college.

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for private high school.

I went to daycare and public schools including college -- high school was probably the weakest part of my program and where the less focused kids tended to slip through the cracks.

Agree on this. Most of what I've observed is kids doing generally ok until they hit a so-so HS. If I think about the AGE I would want my kid to have more specialized, more individual attention it would be the teenage years. I feel like I'll be generally able to figure out what my kids need through elementary. It's when you lose that close hold on them that I'd like to really trust someone else to be looking out for them. By the time they're in college, I'd say it's more up to them to determine what they need and they're more capable of doing so on their own.

I think your best money spent will be on one parent staying home FT until school starts.

College - public or private & graduate school. Most people don't care if you had a nanny growing up or where you went to elementary or high school - except in friendly conversation. College & graduate school are far more important, especially if you have decent public schools.

Another vote for private high school.

I went to daycare and public schools including college -- high school was probably the weakest part of my program and where the less focused kids tended to slip through the cracks.

Anonymous wrote:If you could only afford really high expenses for a few years, do you think it would be better to spend that money on a nanny during the infant/toddler stage, or on private school (and if so, which school years)? TIA for sharing your thoughts.

How would a nanny figure into this equation? A nanny won't give your kid any intellectual or developmental advantages over any other less expensive options. Developmentally, there is no long term advantage between SAHM, childcare, or a nanny. It just depends on your situation and how good the caregiver is. Personally, if I could only afford high expenses for a few years, I wouldn't spend it on someone to change diapers. There are many free methods to teach and develop a baby/toddler. You can usually do them yourself.

Here's the plan that we have:
SAHM, then excellent public schools, private college

Anonymous wrote:Private high school.

Agree. There are many superb public universities.

Private high school.

The best public schools you can find. Then private college. Maybe a nanny next if you can swing it too, but I think the "option" for private college is important to prioritize.

There's no way you can answer this ahead of time b/c at the nanny/day care stage your really don't know what your child will need: will they have learning disabilities or be super gifted? Will they need tutoring? Will they have ADHD and need small class and private school? Will your local public go downhill in the next 5-15 years? No way you can really know this. That said, most research shows that the brain development and emotional bonds/ foundation (or lack therof) a child receives before 5 is critical. But that doesn't make the other stuff less important, either.

Too many variables to make a blanket determination. What is the day care like that your child would be in? What are the public schools like? Is your baby high needs or more laid back? Does your school age child have special needs (learning disabilities, gifted, ADHD) that would be better served in specific settings, whether it's private school, or a public school with excellent special education teachers? Etc. etc.

It's specific to your child and your situation.

If you could only afford really high expenses for a few years, do you think it would be better to spend that money on a nanny during the infant/toddler stage, or on private school (and if so, which school years)? TIA for sharing your thoughts.