Anonymous wrote:I’m not in the closet exactly but last year I told my husband I was bi (which I think is correct?) but also that I want to date women and it was really bad. The woman part actually was whatever, it was the non monogamy part.

I need to find more queer people. I’m so liberal and surrounded by liberal people in the middle of dc but where I live is so hetero. All these cute little houses with these little four ppl families and no lesbians and it’s like so so lonely.

Many queer people are ENM but many people aren't okay with changing the rules into a relationship and it's the kind of thing both partners have to agree to. Many (most?) are monogamous. Please don't go looking for a unicorn for a threesome, queer women hate that.

My personal opinion is this is that you should consider exiting the relationship. You can definitely find women to date and be non-monogamous. I know this isn't something that's easy but you clearly would prefer to be with a woman.

I'm really sorry about this and I can relate, living in a neighborhood that's really straight kind of sucks.

I’m not in the closet exactly but last year I told my husband I was bi (which I think is correct?) but also that I want to date women and it was really bad. The woman part actually was whatever, it was the non monogamy part.

I need to find more queer people. I’m so liberal and surrounded by liberal people in the middle of dc but where I live is so hetero. All these cute little houses with these little four ppl families and no lesbians and it’s like so so lonely.

Are you closeted? Does your husband know?

Have you tried looking up lesbian or LGBT support groups in DC? Another option is talking to friends who are queer or a queer therapist.

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this, it is so hard to be closeted and being embedded in a relationship and life where you can't be your true self if so hard and unfulfilling. You don't have to move forward immediately but I think you're coming to terms with the fact that you're gay. Please don't live the rest of your life like this. Don't wait forever but don't rush either.

Pride is this weekend. The parade is on Saturday and the festival and free concert is on Sunday. I'll be there to see Marin Morris.

Go to the parade or the festival (or both). Be around out queer people.

I am 40 and realizing I am too gay to be in a straight marriage. The pain feels immeasurable. My husband is such a good person. Can anyone point me to resources or support groups? I can't face this on my own.