Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m not sure why they came down the afternoon before as the wedding didn't start until 3 the next day. They could have stayed at the hotel block downtown and walked everywhere. But, whatever.

NP here. You didn't provide these details in your original post.

But, I'm still going on my initial response that "no gift" is fair. I didn't attend some weddings when I was younger because I couldn't afford the travel and then a gift on top. So I sent a gift instead.

Some people think AirBNBs are "better" than hotels, like hotels freak them out. I do not. I prefer hotels.

I think you need to move past this.

Op here. I’m not sure why they came down the afternoon before as the wedding didn't start until 3 the next day. They could have stayed at the hotel block downtown and walked everywhere. But, whatever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did this guy volunteer this information or was he asked about the gift?

Volunteered.

Lol that is rude and cheap then.

Anonymous wrote:Did this guy volunteer this information or was he asked about the gift?

Volunteered.

I think it’s reasonable. The family friend wanted to support and celebrate with you and your son. It’s likely if they didn’t attend 2 hours away, that you’d be on here saying they didn’t even come even though they’ve known your don for years!

My family of 5 flew to attend my nephews wedding - mainly to support and celebrate with my sister/BIL. We rented a car and spent 3 nights in a hotel. I also bought his new bride a kitchen aid mixer from her registry, because I love mine and the one snd only time I met her she mentioned baking. My sister was adamant that I didn’t need to do that - they weren’t expecting a gift because we had spent $$$ just coming and that meant so much to them.

Did this guy volunteer this information or was he asked about the gift?

It’s reasonable. I had a very wealthy couple do this at our wedding. It was noticeable but I didn’t care. We are still friends 20 years later. Maybe it’s a rich person thing to do?

I think it's rude, but it's also why I didn't invite my parents' friends to our wedding. People who weren't my relatives or friends didn't care about us.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s odd and a bit rude to say that directly to your son. A gift is never expected, though (I think that’s proper etiquette) so there will be people who go to weddings and don’t give gifts and while it puzzles me it happens.

This was said to the groom’s dad, by his friend

He said it to my husband.

I think it’s odd and a bit rude to say that directly to your son. A gift is never expected, though (I think that’s proper etiquette) so there will be people who go to weddings and don’t give gifts and while it puzzles me it happens.

Anonymous wrote:Our son was married this weekend. It was not a destination wedding per se, but located where the couple lives two hours from our hometown. Our best couples friends got an Airbnb for two nights and Uberd everywhere. But, they would not give a gift because they spent money on the lodging and travel between said lodging and the wedding and reception venues and it was enough that they were there celebrating with the couple.
My DH just told me the man of the couple said this to him at the wedding.
I’m rather shocked. Is this typical? I would never do this.

Two nights in an AirBnb plus multiple uber trips will add up to quite a few hundreds. I wouldn't argue with it. Then again I'm a WASP and don't see weddings as a cash cow.

I’ve never done this, but I think it’s reasonable and this should be more socially acceptable.

I think that's personally reasonable. They my not be able to afford the trip and a gift.

Our son was married this weekend. It was not a destination wedding per se, but located where the couple lives two hours from our hometown. Our best couples friends got an Airbnb for two nights and Uberd everywhere. But, they would not give a gift because they spent money on the lodging and travel between said lodging and the wedding and reception venues and it was enough that they were there celebrating with the couple.
My DH just told me the man of the couple said this to him at the wedding.
I’m rather shocked. Is this typical? I would never do this.