Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like ADHD and executive function issues. But is this new or was she like this in high school and college(is this after freshman year)?

+1

Sounds like my adhd kid.

They need to learn to lay out clothes and shoes the night before. Always put keys in same place.

+1. She should shower at night and set an alarm.

Anonymous wrote:Does she have autism or ADHD?

Why do people always jump to things like this? She sounds like a lazy, spoiled brat. It doesn't mean there's some syndrome or condition that needs a label so she can be coddled.

She needs to go to bed earlier.

Now is a little late. Did you baby this "child" until she's 19?

Anonymous wrote:I think you are enabling.

You have two choices:
1) Let her be late/miss work until she self-corrects or gets fired
Or
2)Say that the limit on freedom and choice in your household is when it starts to affect you. The morning routine is too hard on you, so she needs to go to bed earlier until she can handle the routine on her own.

+1

is she going to college? if not why is she at home and not getting to work? set a hard limit that she needs to do it on her own and if she gets fired she has 45 days or you kick her out.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like ADHD and executive function issues. But is this new or was she like this in high school and college(is this after freshman year)?

+1

Sounds like my adhd kid.

They need to learn to lay out clothes and shoes the night before. Always put keys in same place.

I think you are enabling.

You have two choices:
1) Let her be late/miss work until she self-corrects or gets fired
Or
2)Say that the limit on freedom and choice in your household is when it starts to affect you. The morning routine is too hard on you, so she needs to go to bed earlier until she can handle the routine on her own.

Anonymous wrote:I’m dad to a 19yo. She has a job, but is really struggling with getting up on time this summer. She tends to stay up until 1–2am, which has always been her pattern, and then says she’s too tired when I wake her at 9am for work.

Even after she gets up, I still have to walk her through everything. She’ll stay in bed for another 15–20 minutes, and then needs help finding basic things like her shoes, socks, jacket, phone, or keys before she can leave. I often have to remind her to get in the shower, brush her teeth, use deodorant, figure out whether clothes are washed, check the weather, and make sure she has everything she needs for work. If I don’t prompt her, she can spend a long time wandering around looking for things or sitting in bed on her phone, or she’ll go back to bed and miss work entirely.

I’m trying to figure out what is normal at this age versus what is enabling. On the one hand, she has a job and generally does well once she gets there. But it feels like I’m still managing much of the process of getting her out the door every day.

How can this become easier for her?

NO. YOU. DO. NOT

You are the enabler.

So what happens if you just let go?

Not normal. Please have her have one appt with someone - could be depression, not neurotypical, etc. No 19 year old woman needs to be reminded to use deodorant unless something else going on.

Sounds like ADHD and executive function issues. But is this new or was she like this in high school and college(is this after freshman year)?

Does she have autism or ADHD?

This level of difficulty is not normal. I would give her a week's notice to get her sleep schedule back on track and then stop helping her. She needs to learn this, maybe learn it the hard way by getting fired, and the sooner the better.

I’m dad to a 19yo. She has a job, but is really struggling with getting up on time this summer. She tends to stay up until 1–2am, which has always been her pattern, and then says she’s too tired when I wake her at 9am for work.

Even after she gets up, I still have to walk her through everything. She’ll stay in bed for another 15–20 minutes, and then needs help finding basic things like her shoes, socks, jacket, phone, or keys before she can leave. I often have to remind her to get in the shower, brush her teeth, use deodorant, figure out whether clothes are washed, check the weather, and make sure she has everything she needs for work. If I don’t prompt her, she can spend a long time wandering around looking for things or sitting in bed on her phone, or she’ll go back to bed and miss work entirely.

I’m trying to figure out what is normal at this age versus what is enabling. On the one hand, she has a job and generally does well once she gets there. But it feels like I’m still managing much of the process of getting her out the door every day.

How can this become easier for her?