What is "real life?" For most people in the world it's no college education at all, and that includes most people in the U.S.

When people read about students getting millions in merit money and attending on full rides, they assume, this is a norm for top students. They don’t know that most of this is aid and million dollar figures come from applying to hundreds of low ranking schools.

Another thing I noted in those parent FB groups is that despite any nod to budget constraints some of the HS graduation parties in other parts of the country were incredible. Elaborate and expensive and so over the top! I kept seeing pictures of these parties and thinking the math was not going to add up come tuition time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

That was good advice. You should cap the 529 at around $200k and save the rest in a more flexible account. If you save for a private in a 529 and then your kid goes to a flagship, or gets a big merit scholarship, you will wind up with a bunch of money stuck in the 529.

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Not everyone is well informed about college costs. Families of immigrants and first Gen college attendees aren’t familiar with the system. Also colleges usually advertise costs with average aid factored in, not everyone gets full or even enough aid.

What’s crazy is college costs, specially top ranking colleges. Colleges can keep it high for international and non citizens but they should lower costs for citizens to a more affordable level. College cost is nothing for rich, poor make it with aid but for upper middle class family not gaming finances, this is insane amount of money to pay. Their only option is to go to much lower ranking colleges offering merit money.

Which part is not real life? Yours or those you are talking about?

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

Anonymous wrote:DCUM area has high proportion of government workers who typically save save save - and are generally pretty fiscally responsible. Here in NYC area you have high earners / high spenders who just plan on covering college from free cash flow, like i’m doing now for two kids enrolled concurrently. Typical ant vs grasshopper lol

OP is not talking about you. Nobody could be “gobsmacked by your lack of financial resources” because you don’t lack financial resources.

Yes, I was shocked several years ago when I joined the parents' FB page. Families committing to schools before receiving financial aid packages. Families somehow shocked when receiving minimal or zero FA. Families struggling to qualify for loans. Families taking out loans with terrible terms using magical thinking on how to pay them back ("child will be high earner after med school and can take over payments"). Families using magical thinking for child's contribution - one egregious example was a family with a student who was struggling to find a roommate on IG, liked quiet evenings, and had stereotypically "nerdy" hobbies. Plan was for said child to get a job as a bartender in late fall when they finally turned 18 and make lots of money in tips. Nothing wrong with the kid, but not a great candidate for getting a mid-year job at a bar!!

But in general just lots of posts that were "Help! We didn't get any FA, how do we get loans for $40K??" - which hello, was the full in-state COA!

DCUM area has high proportion of government workers who typically save save save - and are generally pretty fiscally responsible. Here in NYC area you have high earners / high spenders who just plan on covering college from free cash flow, like i’m doing now for two kids enrolled concurrently. Typical ant vs grasshopper lol

Same with retirement savings.

Yes, it's eye opening.

I can relate OP. I remember the same realization when I joined a couple of FB class of 20-- groups.
DCUM and the DMV does offer a very specific view of things and that bubble does not apply to how the majority of the country is living.

Why are their lives more real than mine?

I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.