Anonymous wrote:He's probably cheap and takes advantage, which if true is probably prevalent throughout other areas in his life.

+1
This is a red flag for sure.
This mindset is always "what can I get"? And not "What can I give back?" They make the worst citizens.
Also, it extends to "what is the other guy getting and should he be getting it" - the worst kinds of hall monitors, grifters.

Or he likes to catalog exactly what he spent. I mean you can still decide it is weird and a flag.

Anonymous wrote:Utterly uncharming is a good way to put it. Yuck.

TBH, I probably wouldn’t have blinked in my early/mid 20s when I was young and broke, as were many of the guys I dated. But in his 40s? Dealbreaker.

Agree.

Nope. If he cheats his company, he will cheat in other things. Ghost him.

What’s his job? Perhaps he has an arrangement with his employer where he’s allowed to expense lunch? I would be hesitant to jump to conclusions.

If it was itemized maybe he was only expensing his portion not the entire bill. You got a free lunch, you could have pick up the bill but you didn't.

He's probably cheap and takes advantage, which if true is probably prevalent throughout other areas in his life.

Does his work cover meals if he's in the office or working more than a certain number of hours? Or was he lying and saying it was business-related? When I've worked at places where you can expense business lunches, you typically have to give a reason, but there are also situations in which expensing it isn't specifically because of what you're doing for that lunch. (Travel being the most obvious.)

Yuck. No. No ethics. Were you on a work meeting or a date date? Was he traveling in town? If it was truly just a social meeting, I would delete him from life.

Utterly uncharming is a good way to put it. Yuck.

TBH, I probably wouldn’t have blinked in my early/mid 20s when I was young and broke, as were many of the guys I dated. But in his 40s? Dealbreaker.

Red flag. He either can’t afford lunch or you are his affair partner.

Anonymous wrote:I recently started seeing a man (40s) and we met for a lunch date yesterday as our offices are close by.

He picked up the tab immediately but then he asked the waiter for the itemized bill so that obviously he could expense it to his company. I found that to be so utterly uncharming. Not so much being cheap, but more being dishonest.

Am I making something out of nothing?

Good for you for seeing immediately that this is dishonest and a character flaw. I'm in the middle of a divorce from someone who turned out to be a cheater on every single level. I only recently got access to his business records and learned that he made lying and deception a regular part of his life.

I mean in a way you were a business expense.

No not at all.

This man showed you an example of who he really is - - you got a taste of his real character - - and that character lacks integrity.

Not someone that you want to get involved with.

I recently started seeing a man (40s) and we met for a lunch date yesterday as our offices are close by.

He picked up the tab immediately but then he asked the waiter for the itemized bill so that obviously he could expense it to his company. I found that to be so utterly uncharming. Not so much being cheap, but more being dishonest.

Am I making something out of nothing?