I would say no to sleepover but host them for the afternoon and/or evening. That way you’ve reciprocated but won’t be stressed.

No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Host”? Order a pizza and let the kids be. Theyre not 5 or 8, they’re teens.

OP here. I understand this, I’m just worried they will expect to be shuttled to/from the pool, or Target, or a restaurant, etc.

So say no! Or set expectations in advance- they can watch a movie streaming or do nails or a craft kit or whatever.

Only if your kid sleeps at sleepovers though. We do them sparingly because it takes my kid almost a week to recover and I wouldn’t want that near a vacation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Host”? Order a pizza and let the kids be. Theyre not 5 or 8, they’re teens.

OP here. I understand this, I’m just worried they will expect to be shuttled to/from the pool, or Target, or a restaurant, etc.

So set the expectations beforehand:

If you want this sleepover you

1) have to be packed and ready for the trip
2) have to make do with things at home, no trips to the pool/eating out.
3) have to go to bed/be quiet at an agreed upon reasonable hour
4) help clean up after meals (you can have paper plates and stuff, but they can’t just get up and leave without throwing away their trash).

At 13 these are not unreasonable expectations.

This. I know some kids who really sleep at sleepovers and some who don't. If my kid wasn't a good sleeper and would be a grump the next day and at the start of vacation, I'd just invite them over till 9 or 10pm at the latest.

Meh, I wouldn’t, but I hate sleepovers because I can’t sleep. So that would mess me up for getting ready for the trip.

I'm trying to be more laid back so I would say yes. But the sleepover would start late and ends at 10 so it didn't impact my day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Host”? Order a pizza and let the kids be. Theyre not 5 or 8, they’re teens.

OP here. I understand this, I’m just worried they will expect to be shuttled to/from the pool, or Target, or a restaurant, etc.

So set the expectations beforehand:

If you want this sleepover you

1) have to be packed and ready for the trip
2) have to make do with things at home, no trips to the pool/eating out.
3) have to go to bed/be quiet at an agreed upon reasonable hour
4) help clean up after meals (you can have paper plates and stuff, but they can’t just get up and leave without throwing away their trash).

At 13 these are not unreasonable expectations.

I'd be fine with that. They don't need you to entertain them at that age. Just make it clear that you can't be their chef or chauffeur this time around.

Anonymous wrote:“Host”? Order a pizza and let the kids be. Theyre not 5 or 8, they’re teens.

OP here. I understand this, I’m just worried they will expect to be shuttled to/from the pool, or Target, or a restaurant, etc.

“Host”? Order a pizza and let the kids be. Theyre not 5 or 8, they’re teens.

It’s fine to say not but also theyre 13, what does it take out of you? As long as she’s packed and gets to bed at a reasonable hour- I would set those conditions.

at this age, sure. I don't find that a couple of kids sleeping over adds much to my workload, and it sounds like this would mean a lot to DD. Then the next day she can be tired/chill and packing or doing whatever and then y'all leave for family time on Friday. It sounds perfect.

What kinds of things are on your list? Feel free to order a pizza and keep breakfast simple (bagels?) so your kitchen stays clean before your trip.

I find that I am pretty resentful and likely to snap at my family if I am pressured into doing something for which I don't think I have the capacity.

OK to say no.

I think it's fine to say no. People should understand. Maybe have the kids over for dinner or something instead, if you want.

This weekend my DD13 spent the night at a friend's house. The friend's cousin is in town, and the three girls have always been close. Now DD is asking if the friend and cousin can spend the night at our house on Wednesday.

Ordinarily I probably wouldn't think twice about it, but we leave for vacation Friday morning, and for some reason that timing feels like a snag. I'm off work this week, but I have a long list of things to do before we leave, and the thought of having two extra kids here feels a little overwhelming.

At the same time, I feel like I "owe" the other parents since they hosted my daughter Saturday night. DH thinks it's a great idea and says it's good for maintaining a long-distance friendship. Of course, it's also his last workday before our trip, so he'll be working until 8 p.m. and won't be around for any of the preparation or hosting.

Would you just suck it up and host, or is it reasonable to prefer a little peace and space before a trip?