Not really. I miss being 20 in general. But that was just a different time of life. if you want children I think life is easier if you have them by age 30. Easier to recover physically and nice to have them launch in your 50s.

People told me I had plenty of time. There was no rush. Had my child mid-30s. He was born with special needs, and his condition is closely associated with advanced maternal age. Yes, plenty of older mothers have healthy children, and plenty of young mothers have children with special needs, but there is no denying that your chances of having a child with special needs go up as you age. I love my kid, but it is tough raising a child with special needs. Given my own experience, I would not advise waiting to have kids.

Biological advantage when you’re younger

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. I wanted kids since I was 16, and had my first in grad school. He had significant special needs, which killed my career. But no, I don't miss my life pre kids. I love all my children and enjoy being a parent.

Me again. My husband was just out of grad school and not making much at the time. We were technically poor, but very happy to start our family. Now we are wealthy. I'm in my 40s and continue to enjoy parenting my young adult with SN and my teen.

I don't know why DCUM is so against having kids young. Daycare is expensive, but otherwise healthy babies don't need much. My oldest benefited from free physical, occupational, speech and play therapy in Montgomery County. All the therapists were excellent. I have no complaints. Then we were able to afford private speech and activities to develop his motor skills. MCPS gave him an IEP in Kindergarten, which he kept until 11th grade (then he had a 504 plan in 12th grade). When he was in high school, we could afford all the tutors and test prep he needed. He is now in a private college.

I would worry about a young person's choice of parenting partner... but not the desire to have children young. And to be honest, I'm not sure humans make wiser choice regarding their partner when they're older compared to when they're younger.

Well said. I've met plenty of older parents who had some maturity issues.
People with personality issues when young don't magically become free of those issues when they are older.

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. I wanted kids since I was 16, and had my first in grad school. He had significant special needs, which killed my career. But no, I don't miss my life pre kids. I love all my children and enjoy being a parent.

Me again. My husband was just out of grad school and not making much at the time. We were technically poor, but very happy to start our family. Now we are wealthy. I'm in my 40s and continue to enjoy parenting my young adult with SN and my teen.

I don't know why DCUM is so against having kids young. Daycare is expensive, but otherwise healthy babies don't need much. My oldest benefited from free physical, occupational, speech and play therapy in Montgomery County. All the therapists were excellent. I have no complaints. Then we were able to afford private speech and activities to develop his motor skills. MCPS gave him an IEP in Kindergarten, which he kept until 11th grade (then he had a 504 plan in 12th grade). When he was in high school, we could afford all the tutors and test prep he needed. He is now in a private college.

I would worry about a young person's choice of parenting partner... but not the desire to have children young. And to be honest, I'm not sure humans make wiser choice regarding their partner when they're older compared to when they're younger.

Not really. I had my first in my late 20s and last at 31 and am glad I did not wait any longer.

Not at all. I wanted kids since I was 16, and had my first in grad school. He had significant special needs, which killed my career. But no, I don't miss my life pre kids. I love all my children and enjoy being a parent.

Are they wealthy? Otherwise, no.

I think if her situation is adequate for kids (partner, income, general maturity), there is something to be said for having them younger when you're more energetic. Part-time graduate school can mesh really well with it because of the flexibility. And yes having a large block of time later in life. And being a younger grandparent.

I'm 40 with toddlers and tired AF.

Yes and no. It’s so complex. I had kids in my late-30s but there is something to be said for being free again in your late 40s. It depends on your career plans, i think.

My non special needs DD wants to have kids “young” (mid 20s). Trying to urge her not to “rush” into things… she is engaged. I sure do.