My DC (AuDHD) went to *five* different dentists before we found the one who worked. (They were traumatic for everyone involved!) We really like Harmony Pediatric Dentistry in Bethesda--they have a special needs practice and my kid can now go to the dentist and say it is "ok" which feels like a huge win. Really patient and compassionate staff and practice.

Ugh, I hear you, OP. My 4-year-old son has a lot of issues that makes dental hygiene a challenge, and trips to the dentist are horrible. He screams and flails, and the dentist always makes me feel like a terrible parent and critiques everything I do. “Stop giving him PediaSure because it will rot his teeth.” (Well, his pediatrician thinks it’s medically necessary.) “He needs to stop using a sippy cup because it will mess up his bite.” (It’s the only cup he will take.) “You need to do a better job of brushing his teeth and start flossing.” (Tell me how to do that without losing a finger.) This last time I just told them that I was doing the best I could and that I would appreciate brainstorming solutions rather than criticism. The best they could come up with was more frequent cleanings. It’s definitely frustrating because this place advertises as good with kids and good with special needs, but I don’t think they are great with either. So does anyone out there have a dentist they recommend?

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who is a retired dentist and a really compassionate, understanding person. Whenever I used to ask him this kind of question he'd always shrug and say, "Hey, it's a lot easier to fix teeth than heads." It was important for me to hear this. Even if there's a cost benefit analysis, sometimes you have to accept worrying about the teeth later.

My kid’s dentist told me that braces were cheaper than therapy when talking about my tube fed kiddo’s pacifier.

OP here! Thanks for all the responses. Part of me figured this was the case but I wasnt sure if I was just being defensive. Im like- its better then biting ppl or random things! His use of them has really decreased over the past 6 months so hopefully won't be a long term need.

I think the use of teethers/chewies will most likely subside over time anyways. My dd used chewies sometimes till around 5, sporadically until about 8, and never since then. I never took them from her-she chose that.

Being in OT like he is, will help him learn other self-regulating ways, as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think dentists just really care about teeth and sometimes can't see the forest for the trees. Like, if soemthing may harm teeth but has other benefits, they are going to come down on the side of teeth.

Totally this. And better to chew on a teether designed for the purpose instead of him chewing on whatever he can find.

Yes, this. If "not chewing" while staying calm and regulated was a choice, you'd do something different -- but it's not and the dentist doesn't know anything about regulation skills.

I have a family member who is a retired dentist and a really compassionate, understanding person. Whenever I used to ask him this kind of question he'd always shrug and say, "Hey, it's a lot easier to fix teeth than heads." It was important for me to hear this. Even if there's a cost benefit analysis, sometimes you have to accept worrying about the teeth later.

Anonymous wrote:I think dentists just really care about teeth and sometimes can't see the forest for the trees. Like, if soemthing may harm teeth but has other benefits, they are going to come down on the side of teeth.

Totally this. And better to chew on a teether designed for the purpose instead of him chewing on whatever he can find.

I think dentists just really care about teeth and sometimes can't see the forest for the trees. Like, if soemthing may harm teeth but has other benefits, they are going to come down on the side of teeth.

My son is 3.5 and has always been sensory seeking. He put everything in his mouth when younger and still uses teethers (made for older kids/ adults) in stressful situations. I always keep them on hand if we are going to be somewhere where it might be loud or he needs to sit for awhile. OT (has an IEP now for speech, OT- developmental delay) he worked with through infants and toddlers had suggested more chewy/crunchy foods and the teethers.

At the dentist today I mentioned how he used to have a chip on his tooth but looks like he wore it down. The dentist mentioned grinding and I brought up his teether. She warned against them and said he should be taught other ways to self soothe because it can harm their teeth long term.

Is this a thing or a dentist not used to working with kids with special needs? I though these were more mainstream and excepted but am thinking I should limit their use. Anyone else been told something similar - that they need to move away from the oral soothing?

Thanks.