I was in a sexless marriage (I'm the xW, xH did not want sex with me). At the time, I would have settled for 2x a month, even though I would have preferred 2-3x a week.

Now, I think it's less about frequency and more about enthusiasm. I never want to be in a relationship where I have to issue an ultimatum for a minimum. I want someone who *wants* to have sex with me. If I have to negotiate, it's already over, let's just move on and sleep with other people.

Once per week where everyone is enthusiastic and wants to be there is better than 3 times per week where the other person would rather be doing anything else.

Anonymous wrote:We haven't sex since 2019 and I'm still here.

2024 for us and I'm still in it to win it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A third of my married friends (early fifties) haven’t had sex in years.

Ditto. Extremely common

Is this what it is? Contemplating the rest of my life.

Anonymous wrote:A third of my married friends (early fifties) haven’t had sex in years.

Haven’t had sex with their spouses or sex at all?

Anonymous wrote:A third of my married friends (early fifties) haven’t had sex in years.

Ditto. Extremely common

Anonymous wrote:A third of my married friends (early fifties) haven’t had sex in years.

Bet that number is a lot higher.

once every 1-2 weeks

Wife here who's marriage has had dry spells of up to 3 months years ago.

Were at about once a week which is tolerable and I understand that dh is tired/stressed after work so I deal with it because he has other good qualities that outweigh the frequency of sex.

Anonymous wrote:If my husband never wanted to have sex again, I'd stay in my marriage. But, he's perfect, and I have a pretty low drive anyway.

The better question is, how frequently would I be willing to have sex to keep my husband happy.That's probably every other day if it was really important to him.

We have sex about twice a month, with we're both fine with (he's not particularly high drive either).

Our marriage is off-the-charts happy and awesome.

+1. Max 2x per week, but I prefer 1x per week.

A third of my married friends (early fifties) haven’t had sex in years.

I wouldn't boil my marriage down to one factor like that.

Unless there were other negative factors I wouldn’t leave simply because of sex. We’ve gone through lengthy dry spells due to various reasons and are now at 1-2x/week.

We haven't sex since 2019 and I'm still here.

If my husband never wanted to have sex again, I'd stay in my marriage. But, he's perfect, and I have a pretty low drive anyway.

The better question is, how frequently would I be willing to have sex to keep my husband happy. That's probably every other day if it was really important to him.

We have sex about twice a month, with we're both fine with (he's not particularly high drive either).

Our marriage is off-the-charts happy and awesome.

1x / week, 2x / week?