Oh my….ha! Op here. Love the RTO comment. These are already the ‘rules’ in our house and everyone is happy. He already has a job (& a side hustle). We have multiple kids and everyone has some sort of job (babysitting, mowing lawns, lifeguarding). All contribute a portion to their IRA (setting financial goals). And all are contributing to their college fund - even if it is small $. Yes, we workout everyday usually together at the local sports center when they have organized sports (including a sport which took so much of his time) - this will just be his first summer without organized sports or academic work. Didn’t know we were so unique!

Maybe I should have said expectations vs lay down the rules. I was simply wondering what other parents were doing. I heard the comment about making sure the younger kids contribute as well. Thanks for the reminder. I also heard the rest of you loud and clear - Very, very few to no rules or expectations for an 18 year old that lives at home for free. They are adults! Okay.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that's a lot. If the kid is an adult now, why are you giving them a curfew or telling them to exercise? They're an adult. That's not your choice to make or your decision to control. Parents can give advice, but adults get to decide how they live their own lives. Your kid is better off moving out.

"My house, my rules" is probably what OP is thinking. I've heard people are having trouble finding jobs even with a college degree, and it's kind of late to start looking for a summer job now. My 18 yo doesn't have a job lined up either, or his friends. Maybe they could do odd jobs or a side gig.

I don't cook for other adults. Not any longer, at that age. They grocery shop and give me receipts. I reimburse. They get their own shelf in the frig.

All we did was to tell them to get a job because there was no college allowance….period. That limited their partying.

This is a joke, right?

I bet your kid can't wait to go off to college to get away from you.

Wow, that's a lot. If the kid is an adult now, why are you giving them a curfew or telling them to exercise? They're an adult. That's not your choice to make or your decision to control. Parents can give advice, but adults get to decide how they live their own lives. Your kid is better off moving out.

Also, as a first born, I'm assuming this is yours. Be sure to do this to all your remaining children, even the "baby."

I still resent my dad and all the summers I had to study 1 hour a day, work, chores, while my siblings that were 6-8 years younger never had to pay for a thing, do chores or work.

Um, if they don't have a job at this point, they are going to be hard pressed to get hired now.

Kid has a fuller set of demands than a RTO wage earner with a house tomrun

Exercising daily seems like an excessive rule. Do you hit the gym every single day? Or are you just expecting them to walk the dog?

Anonymous wrote:You want to make sure that he never, ever, returns home. Correct?

Also,

TMYAWWTMYAW.

+1
My summers before and during college weren't a litany of rules. I cleaned up after myself and did the same chores I'd always done (your son does chores, right?). I got a job because I needed money. I didn't have a curfew, but I was expected to be considerate (let my parents know when I expected to be home and to be quiet when I came in). Suddenly piling on new responsibilities that your kid has never had feels punitive and unwelcoming.

It’s really hard to find an employer who is giving an 18 year old a 5 day a week job.

You should post this in teens, your child is not an adult.

Stop using the phrase “lay down rules”

Ps… they won’t have an internship next year or the rear after.

Lighten up Francis.

You want to make sure that he never, ever, returns home. Correct?

Also,

TMYAWWTMYAW.

Looking for advice from those who have been there / done that. My 18 year old just graduated last week and we are getting ready to lay down some rules of the house and expectations for the summer. So far we have: get a job five days a week, exercise daily, set one goal for the summer (money goal, physical goal, ???), curfew 10 pm weeknights (we have a dog that wakes up the house) and midnight on the weekend, and make dinner for the family one day a week. Do you have them contribute any other way? Along with daily house chores (dishes, feed the animals, etc) are we being ridiculous even thinking this will stick? How many rules/chores do you give kids on their way to college or coming home from first year?