Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

I think what they are saying (correct me if I am wrong) is that unlike most people who need to make enough to live on PLUS save money for later in life, if she makes enough to live on, she should be fine, as she likely doesn't really need to save anything. So the bar is a lot lower. If she wants to teach or something similar, that should probably be OK.

I hate to be morbid but I'm assuming money from the grandparents will be coming sooner rather than later so might be known before she has to make this decision. Hopefully this will not be the case and they will live healthy lives for many years but I'm assuming they are at least pretty far into their 70s.

OP here. That’s an interesting perspective that I’ve never thought of. We’ve always worked hard and saved diligently and never assumed automatically that our parents would help us out although they have been pretty generous. They could always decide to gift their assets to charities and we would totally be fine with it, so I never included that consideration in our financial planning.

I don't understand this mindset. Let her study and pursue what interests her. She will find her way.

It's the right time to talk to your child about occupations that make money and those that do not, and about money in general. Also, reflect on the workload of some professions, and the health issues that she could inherit. Some lucrative professions, like surgery, are actually quite physical, and require practitioners to be in above-average health. Sometimes work-life balance is better in lower-paying fields if there is a little trust fund behind it (but you're not there yet financially).

You might not want to tell her this, but you may also want to consider that certain professions are skewed male and that she will need to be doggedly determined to achieve in those fields. And also that certain professions lead one to meet a more wealthy, educated cohort, in which she might find a potential spouse.

But the truth is... she will go where her personality and interests lead her. There isn't all that much you can do to control that, OP. It's normal not to know what she wants to do at her age! She has time to decide, unless she wants a STEM career, in which case, she needs the math and science courses right now. My advice is, if she's drawn to the Humanities, she needs data science courses in undergrad so she can bolster her credentials with the tools to pivot or manage others who have that skillset.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

I am somewhat in this situation. I figured out how to make my own money but I live a less expensive life than my parents and grandparents. My older son is a sophomore in college and he always tells me how grateful he is that we are paying for his college and not telling him what to major in. Just like my parents never told me what to major in or to marry rich. My husband's parents didn't interfere with his choice of a (not lucrative) humanities major either. He had to change career paths after college but eventually found his footing.

At some point, the greatest gift that wealth allows parents is to support their children having happy and healthy lives. I believe it can go very wrong to push kids into career paths and rat races that they have no organic interest in. You can explain the consequences of various occupational choices but I think it's ridiculous to force a kid to pick something high-earning when it sounds like there's zero risk of financial problems in her future. Large houses and expensive lifestyles aren't what make people happy. Look at all the research. What actually makes people happy is doing better than their comparison set. So you can reframe that for your daughter by making conscious choices now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

I think what they are saying (correct me if I am wrong) is that unlike most people who need to make enough to live on PLUS save money for later in life, if she makes enough to live on, she should be fine, as she likely doesn't really need to save anything. So the bar is a lot lower. If she wants to teach or something similar, that should probably be OK.

I hate to be morbid but I'm assuming money from the grandparents will be coming sooner rather than later so might be known before she has to make this decision. Hopefully this will not be the case and they will live healthy lives for many years but I'm assuming they are at least pretty far into their 70s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

I would question the judgement of sending your dc to TT school and having them pick up their peer group habits. There is a chance your dc will resent you when everyone receives money around them.

Nothing sadder than someone who’s interested in the arts being forced to study finance. Let her major in whatever she wants.

Finance.

Public health! You can get a great job in pharma and/or do more feel-good work. It’s perfect for this type of family and money set up.

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

This.

With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

Anonymous wrote:"Finishing up 10th grade" means you need to forget about this for at least 2 and probably 3-4 years.

Yes she doesn’t need to declare a major until she is in college. But it is a consideration when it comes to prioritize EC activities summer programs etc.

"Finishing up 10th grade" means you need to forget about this for at least 2 and probably 3-4 years.

DC is finishing up 10th grade so we’ve started talking about college. She is at a TT and getting good grades so should be able to get into a decent college. The majors that she is interested in include art history, fine arts, public policy etc. basically the kind that does not necessarily lead to good job prospects.

She is our only child. We are comfortable financially. Net worth around 9M at this point including primary residence. Her grandparents have assets higher than ours. If they leave us any inheritance we will give that to DC directly but we really don’t want to assume anything.

As you can see we are comfortable financially but not exactly at a level where she doesn’t need to earn her own living. Some of her friends at the TT school are from families with money so they really don’t need to consider money when thinking about college majors. Should we make it clear that she needs to earn her living therefore needs to pick a more practical major? Weird question I know but that’s where we are at.