DC is a magnet for those with emotional baggage. People with Daddy pain. People with older siblings who are smarter, better looking, and more successful. People who are "all but dissertation" PhDs. The list goes on and on. This region is essentially Hollywood for ugly people. They come to DC to impress people who don't care and you are catching some of the shrapnel. It's not pleasant, but once you understand the mechanisms at play you progress from indignation ("Who does that?!") to compassion ("Oh, sweet summer child, let's help find your groove and make something of this hot mess that you think of as life.")

Calmly place your hand on the top of theirs and say "I don't know who hurt you, but I can tell you are suffering a lot. We have a great EAP program, check it out. As for this matter, I am going to give you some time to regain your composure. We can talk later." Then leave.

Sometimes you will get halfway through this approach and they will break down in tears and ask you to forgive them.

There is so much pain out there. An astonishing percentage of people you see walking on K Street have not attained the emotional intelligence of a well-adjusted high school senior. It's a whole thing out there and it seems to be getting worse over time.

"I'd be happy to talk with you about this when you can speak with me respectfully." And then I walked away. Also, I learned that in interviews, when I get told the boss is "difficult" that is code for "abusive" and to decline the job rather than assure them I'm great at working with challenging people.

No one is yelling at me. They do that when they know they can get away with it.

I once said to someone who was not my day-to-day boss but my group lead who was a couple of levels higher than me, "Please stop yelling at me!" It just kind of came out in the moment. I think it took her by surprise because I'm not sure she realized she was yelling? Or people didn't call her out on it?

I eventually transferred out of her group, more for career opportunity than because of her insanity, but it was a factor. We still cross paths professionally and are cordial, but I keep my distance as I've seen her true colors.

It happened so often to me that I started recording her. I stated "I'm recording this conversation." (Virginia is a one party consent state) I would also tell her to stop screaming at me. Other coworkers also recorded her because everyone thought it was insane how she picked on me and I was well liked. Nothing worked and I got myself out of that job as fast as I could. Jokes on her- she had to hire two people to do my work and it still wasn't done as well.

She was former military and would scream about everything and anything. One time it was because I went to speak to a colleague on a different floor about a project I'm working on and took 15 minutes. It wasn't a social call so I couldn't understand her fury. She also restricted my lunch times and disallowed any snacking whatsoever (got her in trouble with HR for that one. I'm a T1 diabetic and she knew it).

I've never had that happen. I would go to HR.

Sugar in their gas tank.

Anonymous wrote:“It’s clear you aren’t in a good place right now. Let’s talk when you’ve calmed down”

Or yell at them back. I think this is the most effective.

Both of those reactions would get you terminated

Think about Buddy: "Ooh, you're an angry elf!"

Don't do that. You might giggle.

I agree you've got to get out. That stuff is wearing.

“It’s clear you aren’t in a good place right now. Let’s talk when you’ve calmed down”

Or yell at them back. I think this is the most effective.

Are you in the Marine Corps? I mean, it comes with the territory in some jobs, nothing personal.

Leave. Agree with poster above.

You look for other jobs is what you do.

Companies that have managers that yell at subordinates suck all around. Bad culture. Bad product. Bad company.

Some companies and organizations are not ready for prime time. So you choose a better one if you can.

Companies that keep loud, belligerent, rude people as their managers invariably lose all the talent. Everyone leaves.

It never happened. Once, another coworker of my same level yelled at me and I yelled back at him. He apologized.

Please give me some real life examples of how you dealt with a boss who yells at you and if anything changed after you confronted them. Is confronting them a good idea or will it make things worse?