Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s annoying but it’s nice that he believes in you and wants to help advance you. I’d love to have someone like that in my corner.

He's a really nice guy. He's just enamored of some really stupid stuff. And his boss likes it even more than he does.

Okay, but that means it's the job. His job, to please his boss, includes making sure your performance review includes some corporate speak and SMART goals. So your boss wants to have a meeting to get your "work product" - meaning, your review - up to the standards being set by your boss and his boss.

It's nice that he framed it as helping you, but it's not really that. It's a requirement.

True if there were no one above the boss's boss, but if the job is accomplishing X, Y, and Z, and an entire department is happy with the way X, Y, and Z are getting done, then Synergyfest is only a requirement for promotion.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this sort of make-work nonsense is what AI is best at. Generate some meaningless platitudes and sprinkle them throughout your self-review, or just create a new section like "Out of the Box Impactful Synergies with Long-Tail Resonance" and go to town.

DCUM can help. I'll start - here are some phrases; tailor to fit (and good luck)...

"I consistently delivered above-target outcomes, maintaining 95–100% on‑time task completion across all assigned workstreams."
"With respect to operational efficiency — I improved workflow efficiency, reducing cycle times by XX–XY% through proactive issue identification and cross-functional coordination. This had direct impact, helping to achieve 100% satisfaction on feedback loops and review checkpoints."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s annoying but it’s nice that he believes in you and wants to help advance you. I’d love to have someone like that in my corner.

He's a really nice guy. He's just enamored of some really stupid stuff. And his boss likes it even more than he does.

Okay, but that means it's the job. His job, to please his boss, includes making sure your performance review includes some corporate speak and SMART goals. So your boss wants to have a meeting to get your "work product" - meaning, your review - up to the standards being set by your boss and his boss.

It's nice that he framed it as helping you, but it's not really that. It's a requirement.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this sort of make-work nonsense is what AI is best at. Generate some meaningless platitudes and sprinkle them throughout your self-review, or just create a new section like "Out of the Box Impactful Synergies with Long-Tail Resonance" and go to town.

+1, I came here to say this. This is totally a job for AI.

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s annoying but it’s nice that he believes in you and wants to help advance you. I’d love to have someone like that in my corner.

He's a really nice guy. He's just enamored of some really stupid stuff. And his boss likes it even more than he does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just smile and nod and then don’t do it. Worst case they fire you but you were planning to retire anyway and it would take them several months to generate the business case to fire you so the not doing it plan times out

He's scheduled a "work session" so we can work together to manage my excellence or generate impactful synergies or something. Do I just keep canceling until the deadline passes?

You need to level with him and say you are perfectly happy where you are in the organization and do not have aspirations of a promotion - so you want to focus on continuing to be a important contributor to the team

+1. He's trying to help you with a goal he assumes you have. Tell him that's not your goal so he can focus that effort on somebody else.

And then, because he probably needs you to have a goal for the year, set a goal that you do care about or can at least get behind. Maybe your unit needs an updated handbook on how to do your job, for example, and some cross training in case anyone were to leave.

Bonus: I have already been putting together how-tos for my job, so I can check that off easily.

To be clear, I did want to get promoted and I have been working hard on accomplishing things that actually help people. But the goalposts kept moving, and now they're set somewhere I don't want to go (I think my sports metaphor has broken down, but you get the idea)

I know it’s annoying but it’s nice that he believes in you and wants to help advance you. I’d love to have someone like that in my corner.

Just fake it, seriously. You can do anything for an hour.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just smile and nod and then don’t do it. Worst case they fire you but you were planning to retire anyway and it would take them several months to generate the business case to fire you so the not doing it plan times out

He's scheduled a "work session" so we can work together to manage my excellence or generate impactful synergies or something. Do I just keep canceling until the deadline passes?

You need to level with him and say you are perfectly happy where you are in the organization and do not have aspirations of a promotion - so you want to focus on continuing to be a important contributor to the team

+1. He's trying to help you with a goal he assumes you have. Tell him that's not your goal so he can focus that effort on somebody else.

And then, because he probably needs you to have a goal for the year, set a goal that you do care about or can at least get behind. Maybe your unit needs an updated handbook on how to do your job, for example, and some cross training in case anyone were to leave.

I feel like this sort of make-work nonsense is what AI is best at. Generate some meaningless platitudes and sprinkle them throughout your self-review, or just create a new section like "Out of the Box Impactful Synergies with Long-Tail Resonance" and go to town.

Just be upfront with him. While he should be able to read your intentions, he could be getting pressure to do this from other directions.

I hate that stuff with a passion but I have to play along somewhat with my team because it’s required. I manage one person who I clearly know DGF and I work with her to do the bare minimum. I manage another person who absolutely wants to get promoted so I lean in more. Your boss should read the room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just smile and nod and then don’t do it. Worst case they fire you but you were planning to retire anyway and it would take them several months to generate the business case to fire you so the not doing it plan times out

He's scheduled a "work session" so we can work together to manage my excellence or generate impactful synergies or something. Do I just keep canceling until the deadline passes?

You need to level with him and say you are perfectly happy where you are in the organization and do not have aspirations of a promotion - so you want to focus on continuing to be a important contributor to the team

Anonymous wrote:Just smile and nod and then don’t do it. Worst case they fire you but you were planning to retire anyway and it would take them several months to generate the business case to fire you so the not doing it plan times out

He's scheduled a "work session" so we can work together to manage my excellence or generate impactful synergies or something. Do I just keep canceling until the deadline passes?

Just smile and nod and then don’t do it. Worst case they fire you but you were planning to retire anyway and it would take them several months to generate the business case to fire you so the not doing it plan times out

Mid-year reviews are upon us, and I am under the jurisdiction of someone who loves management excellence jargon, SMART goals, and all manner of 1980s style BS. He says I need to do more of that to get promoted. I'm planning on retiring at the end of the year, although I haven't told anyone. How do I say, "I'd rather not get promoted than spend weeks generating this kind of verbiage" without looking hostile.

To be clear, he thinks I'm doing a great job, and lots of people I work with/for do, too. I'm busy. I'd rather spend the rest of the year being useful than bloviating. It's not like 6 months at a higher grade will move my high 5, and there is no way I'm sticking around another 5 years. Or even 1.