Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense financially to move to Scarsdale and keep the NY apt but the long term success depends on whether your DH wants to commute from Scarsdale or not. And whether you can accept being the default parent because he will be out of the house from 6am-9pm. Or the way you are setting things up he may just end up effectively moving out and staying in your NYC apartment during the week.

Also I think it would be pretty rough on your kids to switch schools twice if you decide Scarsdale isn’t working. They aren’t little kids anymore.

I think ultimately you should plan to commit to Scarsdale from the beginning if you want to make that move. Think about the new dynamic with your DH and how you would feel about being the primary parent.

Having lived in the area, I’d do Bronxville over Scarsdale personally. Unless you’re Jewish. Strong Jewish community in Scarsdale.

And watch out for the zip code vs school district. You don’t want to rent in a Scarsdale/Bronxville zip that is zoned for Yonkers schools.

Also, bonus with Bronxville is more trains. Every half an hour on off-peak times, as opposed to every hour to Scarsdale, I think? Makes SUCH a difference and people don't think of it.

Op - bronxville would be ideal but not sure if rental prices there will be too high to make sense

Bronxville is awful. I would stay far away. Can we broaden the discussion? You are not helping the OP. I can't imagine moving to Bronxville from the city as a 12/13 year old. Sounds absolutely miserable. This applies to most suburbs, but particularly there.

Never give up the aprtment!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense financially to move to Scarsdale and keep the NY apt but the long term success depends on whether your DH wants to commute from Scarsdale or not. And whether you can accept being the default parent because he will be out of the house from 6am-9pm. Or the way you are setting things up he may just end up effectively moving out and staying in your NYC apartment during the week.

Also I think it would be pretty rough on your kids to switch schools twice if you decide Scarsdale isn’t working. They aren’t little kids anymore.

I think ultimately you should plan to commit to Scarsdale from the beginning if you want to make that move. Think about the new dynamic with your DH and how you would feel about being the primary parent.

Having lived in the area, I’d do Bronxville over Scarsdale personally. Unless you’re Jewish. Strong Jewish community in Scarsdale.

And watch out for the zip code vs school district. You don’t want to rent in a Scarsdale/Bronxville zip that is zoned for Yonkers schools.

Also, bonus with Bronxville is more trains. Every half an hour on off-peak times, as opposed to every hour to Scarsdale, I think? Makes SUCH a difference and people don't think of it.

Op - bronxville would be ideal but not sure if rental prices there will be too high to make sense

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense financially to move to Scarsdale and keep the NY apt but the long term success depends on whether your DH wants to commute from Scarsdale or not. And whether you can accept being the default parent because he will be out of the house from 6am-9pm. Or the way you are setting things up he may just end up effectively moving out and staying in your NYC apartment during the week.

Also I think it would be pretty rough on your kids to switch schools twice if you decide Scarsdale isn’t working. They aren’t little kids anymore.

I think ultimately you should plan to commit to Scarsdale from the beginning if you want to make that move. Think about the new dynamic with your DH and how you would feel about being the primary parent.

Having lived in the area, I’d do Bronxville over Scarsdale personally. Unless you’re Jewish. Strong Jewish community in Scarsdale.

And watch out for the zip code vs school district. You don’t want to rent in a Scarsdale/Bronxville zip that is zoned for Yonkers schools.

Also, bonus with Bronxville is more trains. Every half an hour on off-peak times, as opposed to every hour to Scarsdale, I think? Makes SUCH a difference and people don't think of it.

Agree with the earlier poster. Don't be a lemming and follow everyone to Scarsdale/Bronxville. There's a lot more out there. Especially if kid is not an academic superstar. Public schools in both are pressure cookers and lots of tiger parents. And most kids have known each other since pre-school so not easy to mix in unless a great athlete, musician, etc. Particularly hard if you are not fully invested in living there.

I would also broaden my search. Lots of other great towns. I hate how DCUM becomes obsessed with a few things: certain towns, certain schools, certain firms (everyone only knows Jane Street and Citadel), etc. There's a great big world out there.

But if your husband works at the Seaport, the whole thing seems like a bad idea. Miserable commute. I used to work on Wall Street and the Westchester people hated it. If he is in this job long term, the best place to move is actually the Jersey Shore - great boat service from Rumson to the Seaport area and schools there and in some other towns are excellent. But of course no one on DCUM knows about that...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense financially to move to Scarsdale and keep the NY apt but the long term success depends on whether your DH wants to commute from Scarsdale or not. And whether you can accept being the default parent because he will be out of the house from 6am-9pm. Or the way you are setting things up he may just end up effectively moving out and staying in your NYC apartment during the week.

Also I think it would be pretty rough on your kids to switch schools twice if you decide Scarsdale isn’t working. They aren’t little kids anymore.

I think ultimately you should plan to commit to Scarsdale from the beginning if you want to make that move. Think about the new dynamic with your DH and how you would feel about being the primary parent.

Having lived in the area, I’d do Bronxville over Scarsdale personally. Unless you’re Jewish. Strong Jewish community in Scarsdale.

And watch out for the zip code vs school district. You don’t want to rent in a Scarsdale/Bronxville zip that is zoned for Yonkers schools.

Also, bonus with Bronxville is more trains. Every half an hour on off-peak times, as opposed to every hour to Scarsdale, I think? Makes SUCH a difference and people don't think of it.

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense financially to move to Scarsdale and keep the NY apt but the long term success depends on whether your DH wants to commute from Scarsdale or not. And whether you can accept being the default parent because he will be out of the house from 6am-9pm. Or the way you are setting things up he may just end up effectively moving out and staying in your NYC apartment during the week.

Also I think it would be pretty rough on your kids to switch schools twice if you decide Scarsdale isn’t working. They aren’t little kids anymore.

I think ultimately you should plan to commit to Scarsdale from the beginning if you want to make that move. Think about the new dynamic with your DH and how you would feel about being the primary parent.

Having lived in the area, I’d do Bronxville over Scarsdale personally. Unless you’re Jewish. Strong Jewish community in Scarsdale.

And watch out for the zip code vs school district. You don’t want to rent in a Scarsdale/Bronxville zip that is zoned for Yonkers schools.

Op - dh works in seaport.

I am thinking that dh can stay in city 2 nights a week so commute less bad. I might do one night. Commute is really not optimal but bleeding $140k a year on tuition ($270k pre tax income) is keeping us trapped and ds is not on a path to t1 high school. This way I figure if we like it we can buy there and then that outlay goes into sellable asset rather than mid tier school with no clear roi

I think the key thing you and your husband need to align on is - where do you live when?

If the kids are going to school in Rye, then that will be your primary home M-F. And, especially as their social/extracurriculars settle in, you’ll probably be there a fair amount of weekends, too. So you’re in the city a couple weekends a month? And then who is using it during the week and how often? Is DH expecting to stay there M-Thurs nights every week? I wouldn’t be okay with that. Or is it a set night or two a week for each of you? Or just when you’re stuck at work late? Are you on the same page about what constitutes “late”?

This could easily turn into you essentially living apart during the week, which I would not be okay with. So you need to dive into the details with him before you commit to this plan.

Anonymous wrote:Not a bad idea. Just a few things to consider:

1. If you give up the private school and decide you want back into the city, what would you do?
2. Are your kids sporty? That is usually the best way for kids (especially boys) to make new friends in the burbs. Make sure they are on board with this
3. Don't necessarily aim for the highest profile towns. Schools there are intense, as are the parents. Plenty of other suburbs that are great with very good schools but a bit more chill. If you are looking north think of the river towns (Irvington, Hastings-on-Hudson), or Larchmont/Mamoroneck. Would you consider NJ?
4. Where does your DH work? Actually makes a big difference. If he is near Grand Central this whole plan is dramatically easier than if he is downtown or elsewhere - the secondary commute from Grand Central is often a killer.

Good point on the commute. If home and office are walkable to Metro North then that makes a massive difference.

I think it makes sense financially to move to Scarsdale and keep the NY apt but the long term success depends on whether your DH wants to commute from Scarsdale or not. And whether you can accept being the default parent because he will be out of the house from 6am-9pm. Or the way you are setting things up he may just end up effectively moving out and staying in your NYC apartment during the week.

Also I think it would be pretty rough on your kids to switch schools twice if you decide Scarsdale isn’t working. They aren’t little kids anymore.

I think ultimately you should plan to commit to Scarsdale from the beginning if you want to make that move. Think about the new dynamic with your DH and how you would feel about being the primary parent.

Lots of people keep pieds-à-terre in the city, so it's not insane if you can afford it. But how would you actually use the apartment? You or DH would stay there during the week? You'd all hang out in the city on weekends?

I get why you'd want to try things out this way, but you'll be enrolling your kids in a new school and trying to make new social connections for them (and yourselves). Having your foot halfway in the door may make the adjustment more difficult.

Also, I'm not sure how easy it would be to just come back to your old life if you decide to do that. Would their current school let them re-enroll without question, or would that only be the case if there were openings in your kids' specific grades? You want to find that out before you sign a lease.

Not a bad idea. Just a few things to consider:

1. If you give up the private school and decide you want back into the city, what would you do?
2. Are your kids sporty? That is usually the best way for kids (especially boys) to make new friends in the burbs. Make sure they are on board with this
3. Don't necessarily aim for the highest profile towns. Schools there are intense, as are the parents. Plenty of other suburbs that are great with very good schools but a bit more chill. If you are looking north think of the river towns (Irvington, Hastings-on-Hudson), or Larchmont/Mamoroneck. Would you consider NJ?
4. Where does your DH work? Actually makes a big difference. If he is near Grand Central this whole plan is dramatically easier than if he is downtown or elsewhere - the secondary commute from Grand Central is often a killer.

Makes sense. Staying in the city with kids seems incredibly difficult. However in your position with 2 kids 2 jobs in-office, that commute will be grueling.

Makes sense. Try before you buy.

2 x ds (10 and 12). Dh is 5 days a week in office, I am as needed in office. Am wanting to move the kids to a bronxville/ scarsdale/ rye etc public school - a. because I actually think better fit for my kids and b. because our private is so expensive and I think actually less good.

Am thinking of renting a place that's $6-$7k a month, moving the kids and keeping the NYC apartment and seeing how it goes. Is this a weird call? By my calculations, if we pay $135 in tuition for 2 kids, then $80k is a saving and then if we like it and the commute is ok, we can sell the nyc apt and buy in the burbs. Am afraid to fully rip off the bandaid from day 1 in case a. the kids are unhappy or b. the commute for us is untenable.

What am I missing here?