Op here.

I put the "TW" in the title because I know in some circles, people don't want to read about family dynamics, etc.

So you have no proof that your mother shared anything at all with your aunt.

Why don't you call up your aunt and feel her out? Then you'll know.

Anonymous wrote:You don't have kids and your Aunt sent a Mothers Day card? That is just plain weird.

+1 this is a lot of bad family dynamics.

If you're "thinking of someone" a Mothers Day card is not the thing to do. I struggled with infertility and I would have been bawling from this at the time.

oP issues are also personal and should not have been shared by her mom unless OP had ok'd it. I would have hated that as well. I say this as someone who did tell my Mom and she is close to her own sister but there is no way she'd have shared this.

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a trend now to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the females in your life. It might also be that she knows your relationship with your own mother is challenging and was referencing that; or that she is hoping you will have a child. I would not assume from the card that she knows anything.

On the other hand, if I was your DH and knew that you were making it clear that the infertility was his fault in conversations where that isn’t relative at all, I would be very hurt.

Everyone wants to be included, even the dog moms.

I think there is a trend now to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the females in your life. It might also be that she knows your relationship with your own mother is challenging and was referencing that; or that she is hoping you will have a child. I would not assume from the card that she knows anything.

On the other hand, if I was your DH and knew that you were making it clear that the infertility was his fault in conversations where that isn’t relative at all, I would be very hurt.

You don't have kids and your Aunt sent a Mothers Day card? That is just plain weird.

What does sperm count have to do with anything? Aunt probably asked if you were having kids and mom could have just said you were trying and it hasn’t happened yet.

Your trigger warning also makes me think you're over reacting. That said, it sounds like it comes from a place of other unresolved issues. Have you told your mom to keep this info private? My mom is the type that unless I specifically tell her that, she will over share. And even then, it's 50/50 whether or not she'll still talk. As a result, I don't tell her things I don't want others to know.

I would be annoyed. I have a mother like this and can't trust her. You should feel the same. But besides that your Aunt is out of line sending that card.

A friend of mine was in a similar situation in regards to the fertility. Her spouses blood sugar was a mess and weed use lowered his sperm count as well. Not implying that's the case here just an FYI because I didn't know any of this can cause that either, it was news to me. Thought I'd share.

You father abused you and your mother gaslit you about it and you're very close to her?

Anyway, if your mother is lying to you, yes that's a reason to be upset. Did you tell her that you didn't want her to tell others about your fertility struggles?

The “TW” in your headline about this very benign issue tells me you’re overreacting. Your mom shared with her own sister that you’re having a hard time getting pregnant, presumably because she didn’t know it was a secret, and you’re giving her the silent treatment?

I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting here or not. DH and I have been going through fertility treatment, and it turns out my PCOS isn’t the issue... it’s actually DH’s low sperm count.

I’m really close with my mom, so I’ve shared everything with her, but I haven’t told anyone else in my family. That’s why I was surprised when I got a Mother’s Day card from my aunt (my mom’s sister) saying, “thinking of you on this Mother’s Day.”

It made me feel upset and a little... idk... exposed (??) because it seems like my mom may have shared something with her. When I asked my mom, she said she doesn’t remember saying anything and doesn’t think she did. I haven't spoken to her in a few days since it happened. For reference, my mom has a history of saying "I don't remember" regarding events that she was present for. A lot of this has to probably do with my unresolved feelings of hurt from my childhood and teen years of dad being abusive and her gaslighting me about it or saying she doesn't recall.

Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or if it’s reasonable to feel hurt about this?