Anonymous wrote:DD (7th grade) visited a boarding school for an event and fell in love with it. It's an hour away so their day option doesn't work for us. I can't imagine sending DD away in a year, although obviously people do it. Would you / have you? What made it an attractive option?

no way.

Anonymous wrote:I would consider letting them board starting in 10th or 11th grade. I know that Choate and Andover both increase in size in 10th grade.

+1. I went to a similar school and our class expanded by like 40-50% in sophomore year and we probably had 10-20 new juniors, although mainly for sports. It's obviously been awhile, so those numbers may be off, but upper grades are often entry years in boarding school in a way they aren't locally.

I would have thrived at boarding school. I had a chaotic home life. My parents were wealthy but I had a mentally ill sibling who was chaotic to be around and my local high school was not very challenging.

I wished I had attended a boarding school for the academics and structure and caring staff.

I would consider letting them board starting in 10th or 11th grade. I know that Choate and Andover both increase in size in 10th grade.

Anonymous wrote:Yep, I did it. My kid went to school north of Baltimore for 2 years. It was fabulous. It was too far to just show up but very easy to grab dinner, see her at games, or come home for the weekend. She left that school after 2 years and went to a New England BS. Without the structure of the Baltimore school, she never would have gotten into the New England school.

There is something to be said for structured study halls, access to teachers outside of the classroom, lights out, no wifi hours, scaffolded independence, after school activities built into the day, and no need to wait for mom or dad to take you to practice. In a lot of ways, it's summer sleep away camp with academics.

My kid is worlds ahead of her classmates at college in terms of being able to balance her independence/freedom, school work, activities, and friendships. We have an extremely close relationship. Even now, I know all about her friends and the hall drama. When she was in BS, I knew much more about her social life than my friends did with kids at home.

Sounds like St Timothy's , Oldfields or Garrison Forest, all good places for a girl to make great friends while being in a semi-structured environment. Their boarding tuition and fees have gotten really high though, in the region of 70k for St Timothy's I think.

We were considering letting our daughter switch from day to local boarder for 10th grade after a hard no for 9th. She decided that she didn't want to after comparing the dorm to her bedroom/bathroom at home.

I wanted my DS to go to boarding. I thought the independence would bring out the best in him. We visited and he liked it. Opted to stay home for sports and all the reasons a 14 yr old may not want to leave home but it was on the table and it can be wonderful for many kids and families. You can always try and leave if it's too much.

I thought it was a hard no for me because my mental set of people who went to boarding school found themselves in the role of the trouble makers who floundered in life after boarding school.

Now as a parent with an actual child I am looking at and the reality of the fact that my husband's job could move him abroad in the future, I am softening to it. So I have actually started to include a few boarding schools into the pivot consideration set for my kid.

He is starting at one of the too DC privates in the fall, but I saw his top of the class status start to slip towards bored trouble maker over the past few months and that makes me nervous. I know everyone thinks they want their kid to be the best in the class, but the reality is, it is often best to be somewhere in the middle of the class so you are still being challenged while still maintaining your self esteem. Seeing the transition of him moving beyond what was taught in school combined with the behavioral issues that came out at the same time (nothing crazy for the age, mostly just signs of frustration) it makes me nervous that at some point we may hit the top end of what this city could provide...

Sometimes in life, you realized for good or for bad, things just don't turn out the way you envisioned them. When that happens, it is better to re-evaluate and dream a better dream than to lock into what no longer serves you or your family.

Anonymous wrote:I personally would have a tough time with it. The time when your kid is living at home is pretty limited and I wouldn’t want to cut that short by four years. That said, if my DC wanted to attend BS and had good, solid reasons for wanting to do so, I would strongly consider it. I think, if the kid is fully on board and wants it, it can have some advantages, including those a PP above mentioned. But, it’s not something I would initiate and I’m glad that my current 10th and 8th graders only wanted to consider local privates. I hope my younger DC feels the same way when she is that age.

I should add - I would talk with your DD about what she likes about the school and would consider whether there are local options that are similar.

There are boarding schools and there a boarding schools. For some families, the whole elite NE boarding school thing is just something that must be done. You went, your parents went, their parents went, your kids will go. It doesn't really matter if it's "right" for anyone in the family in particular. You just do it.

I personally would have a tough time with it. The time when your kid is living at home is pretty limited and I wouldn’t want to cut that short by four years. That said, if my DC wanted to attend BS and had good, solid reasons for wanting to do so, I would strongly consider it. I think, if the kid is fully on board and wants it, it can have some advantages, including those a PP above mentioned. But, it’s not something I would initiate and I’m glad that my current 10th and 8th graders only wanted to consider local privates. I hope my younger DC feels the same way when she is that age.

Not for me but DH attend a BS and it was a wonderful experience for him. That being said, he had a difficult relationship with his parents at the time. Interestingly, they have a very good relationship now.

Yep, I did it. My kid went to school north of Baltimore for 2 years. It was fabulous. It was too far to just show up but very easy to grab dinner, see her at games, or come home for the weekend. She left that school after 2 years and went to a New England BS. Without the structure of the Baltimore school, she never would have gotten into the New England school.

There is something to be said for structured study halls, access to teachers outside of the classroom, lights out, no wifi hours, scaffolded independence, after school activities built into the day, and no need to wait for mom or dad to take you to practice. In a lot of ways, it's summer sleep away camp with academics.

My kid is worlds ahead of her classmates at college in terms of being able to balance her independence/freedom, school work, activities, and friendships. We have an extremely close relationship. Even now, I know all about her friends and the hall drama. When she was in BS, I knew much more about her social life than my friends did with kids at home.

Barring extraordinary negative home circumstances or significant special needs that could not reasonably met at home, I would not do it.

DD (7th grade) visited a boarding school for an event and fell in love with it. It's an hour away so their day option doesn't work for us. I can't imagine sending DD away in a year, although obviously people do it. Would you / have you? What made it an attractive option?