Anonymous wrote:OP here- That all makes sense, thanks for the kind comments. We heard from the teacher today, too, that she's seeing a "huge difference" in DC this week -- "much more focused and way less impulsive." Hooray! To the point about being more (or less) worried about a kid who doesn't mask as well, I sometimes wished his ADHD was more the inattentive type. Having a hyper, impulsive, interrupting form of ADHD is like having a weight problem: You can't hide it, people will always notice, and usually think something negative.

I know we're not out of the woods and that there will be hard times ahead. I also know this medication isn't likely to work for him forever. But having a breather where I'm not constantly *worried* creates so much emotional space.

Enjoy your breather. Don't think the grass is greener. And prepare mentally for the challenges ahead.

OP here- That all makes sense, thanks for the kind comments. We heard from the teacher today, too, that she's seeing a "huge difference" in DC this week -- "much more focused and way less impulsive." Hooray! To the point about being more (or less) worried about a kid who doesn't mask as well, I sometimes wished his ADHD was more the inattentive type. Having a hyper, impulsive, interrupting form of ADHD is like having a weight problem: You can't hide it, people will always notice, and usually think something negative.

I know we're not out of the woods and that there will be hard times ahead. I also know this medication isn't likely to work for him forever. But having a breather where I'm not constantly *worried* creates so much emotional space.

Anonymous wrote:My 2E kid is 21 and preparing to interview for his first real jobs. The stakes keep getting higher, and to me it seems that he can never quite catch up to his peers in terms of social polish and general functionality.

I never once thought he was out of the woods, and the moments he has been "seen" by others at his best have been rare and far between. Because it all depends where your child's strengths and weaknesses lie, don't they, OP? My son has severe ADHD, autism, low processing speed, and is visibly quirky. He will always be burdened by these things.

My mildly autistic teen DD, on the other hand, masks wonderfully and I am not concerned for her like I am with my son.

Sometimes I worry more with my "good masker," knowing that is taking a toll and may come to a head in the future.

Anonymous wrote:My 2E kid is 21 and preparing to interview for his first real jobs. The stakes keep getting higher, and to me it seems that he can never quite catch up to his peers in terms of social polish and general functionality.

I never once thought he was out of the woods, and the moments he has been "seen" by others at his best have been rare and far between. Because it all depends where your child's strengths and weaknesses lie, don't they, OP? My son has severe ADHD, autism, low processing speed, and is visibly quirky. He will always be burdened by these things.

My mildly autistic teen DD, on the other hand, masks wonderfully and I am not concerned for her like I am with my son.

This is real. There’s always new challenges with my 2e kid. He has found some really great friends at his high school and I just learned today he’s being shut out by another group from a specific activity, which of course he feels deeply. Ups and downs, successes and challenges, sometimes all at the same time

My 2E kid is 21 and preparing to interview for his first real jobs. The stakes keep getting higher, and to me it seems that he can never quite catch up to his peers in terms of social polish and general functionality.

I never once thought he was out of the woods, and the moments he has been "seen" by others at his best have been rare and far between. Because it all depends where your child's strengths and weaknesses lie, don't they, OP? My son has severe ADHD, autism, low processing speed, and is visibly quirky. He will always be burdened by these things.

My mildly autistic teen DD, on the other hand, masks wonderfully and I am not concerned for her like I am with my son.

It sounds like maybe you have more space for your feelings now that things have evened out. It's tough for sure. I'm glad something is working for your kid!

PTSD for sure. And when things are good overall I feel like I appreciate it more!

Anonymous wrote:We have our ups and down. During the good times, I wouldn’t at all call it grief, but maybe more along the lines of PTSD where I can’t relax and always waiting for something to go wrong. Always on edge.

Yes. That, too.

We have our ups and down. During the good times, I wouldn’t at all call it grief, but maybe more along the lines of PTSD where I can’t relax and always waiting for something to go wrong. Always on edge.

That's great. You will likely have more difficult times in the future, but for now, exhale and be glad that you're in a good place.

I finally had the moment people talk about -- or rather, DC did. "Like putting on glasses." After a three year journey of visits to the principal's office, of dozens of interactions with various doctors, learning specialists, a move to private school for the small class sizes and personal attention (only to discover that it's as much of a crapshoot there, services-wise, as it was in public school) and a pharmacy's worth of wrong medications and doses, we found the right one. At least for now. Now other people see DC as the charming, brilliant, thoughtful kid he's always been. And I can't stop holding my breath, and my heart hurts for him. He tries so, so hard and for years has mostly just gotten corrections. I know I'm lucky-- he's adhd 2E, he has friends and teachers who DO support him and see him for who he is. But the journey, for him and for us as his parents, has been really tough. No big ask or insight, just a swirl of emotions that the worst might be over.