Anonymous wrote:The marriage was at best on cruise control. Two big careers, three daughters and he may have felt like the odd man out. Daily he’s with a late 30s woman likely smart and attractive and he begins to see a happier path. Did your friend put all of her attention on her job and daughters?

Late 30s is kinda old tho. He couldn’t go younger?

The marriage was at best on cruise control. Two big careers, three daughters and he may have felt like the odd man out. Daily he’s with a late 30s woman likely smart and attractive and he begins to see a happier path. Did your friend put all of her attention on her job and daughters?

Anonymous wrote:It’s not unheard of and sorry, but sometimes it’s not preventable. This is why Belle Burden’s book is a bestseller. So many women can relate.

Also, I hope you fudged some of the identifying details about your friend.

Certainly her writing isn’t why it’s a bestseller.

Would be interested to hear his side of the story

It happened to me. Very similar scenario. He decided he wanted out and left as soon as he told me. It was/is pretty terrible. I think it happens more than people think, but people don’t talk about it because there is often tremendous shame felt by the dumped spouse.

I’m terribly sorry for your friend. I hope she has a good lawyer.

It’s not unheard of and sorry, but sometimes it’s not preventable. This is why Belle Burden’s book is a bestseller. So many women can relate.

Also, I hope you fudged some of the identifying details about your friend.

It is much much more common that he has an affair and does not leave. IME it's pretty uncommon that he actually up and leaves.

I hope your friend is planning to be smart about protecting her kids’ interests. Her ex will now be focused on his new family.

At the end of life for my dad, my stepmom and dad discussed they should not have split up my family. Something like 40 years later. He came back from a work trip and had a 2 week affair and split up with my mom. Just because he says it now, doesn't mean he is going to be happy with this choice later. OP get a good lawyer. Stand up for yourself and your kids. Don't let the suddeness of this and his 'desire' to not have conflict keep you from protecting your assets.

It happens.
He wants out of the marriage.
Id support her divorcing him.

It happens more often than you think .

Either their marriage has been bad for years and she's been oblivious to that, or it's rare.

I used to think that if a couple had lots of kids, things were fine. But I've met enough divorced men now to realize that it's super common to have a baby as a way to try and improve a marriage. I think that's insane, and really unfair to the kid(s). But maybe that's why I'm the divorced mom of an only child.

Anonymous wrote:How often do you think this happens?

I caught up with a grad school friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in 4 years. Married, 52, three daughters 12, 14, 17, lawyer. Husband is a lawyer too. No abuse, cheating , drugs or excessive alcohol according to her. Just a ho hum, one foot in front of the other marriage.

Husband came home from work one day last February and said:

"I'm done. I'm in love with a colleague (17 years younger) and I want a drama and trauma free divorce. Please don't make this messy for the girls. Please lets just end this. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen but I don't love you anymore."

It actually made me tear up typing this out because it's just so.... sad. She is a great person- so kind, funny, pretty and now she is.... in deep, deep depression.

“Don’t make me deal with the consequences of my actions” is what he was really trying to say there. Ugh, I’m sorry your friend is dealing with this.

My ex did the same.

How often do you think this happens?

I caught up with a grad school friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in 4 years. Married, 52, three daughters 12, 14, 17, lawyer. Husband is a lawyer too. No abuse, cheating , drugs or excessive alcohol according to her. Just a ho hum, one foot in front of the other marriage.

Husband came home from work one day last February and said:

"I'm done. I'm in love with a colleague (17 years younger) and I want a drama and trauma free divorce. Please don't make this messy for the girls. Please lets just end this. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen but I don't love you anymore."

It actually made me tear up typing this out because it's just so.... sad. She is a great person- so kind, funny, pretty and now she is.... in deep, deep depression.