There really is no hard and fast rule, OP. I went to a very small middle school, so my high school felt enormous by comparison, even though it was on the smaller side compared to most US high schools.

Yes, you have a bigger social pool in a bigger school, but you're also getting shuffled around so much during the day that you might never consistently see the same people. In a smaller-to-medium (leaving out the micro schools here) school, you're going to have a smaller pool, but you're naturally going to interact with most of them on a regular basis. There were kids in my high school class who were functionally strangers to me, whereas I knew every single person in my middle school. I liked both environments, but neither was objectively better or worse.

Both from my own and my kids' experience, extracurriculars/community outside of school are so important. If something goes down in the school friend group, having another established social group where you can "escape" can be key.

Anonymous wrote:I think small classes are good, but small schools are mostly bad. You can have one without the other.

This is the answer, OP.

Anonymous wrote:One the one hand it is a well known fact that smaller classrooms facilitate learning. On the other hand, it might be harder to make friends in a smaller school and that is an extremely important component of education (specially in terms of peer effects).

Which one do you prefer a small or a large school?

It really depends on the grade and the kid. My child blossomed in a small private school for a few years. The teachers know them so well and they have very deep friendships. However for middle school they are ready for a bigger environment.

Agreed that every kiddo and every school is different. My son is neurodiverse and needed a small school. We found that at The Sycamore School in Arlington. It is a micro school, but he has friends, activities, and classes that work for him. It’s not my high school experience but I had to set aside my own expectations and go with something that worked best for him. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what size the school is if it works for the kid.

^well, not quite twice the size of my graduating class, which was 63.

You have to define the variables. DC has 110 kids in their 11th grade. Seems like a good size, but that’s small compared to our FCPS HS where one grade is the size of DC’s entire school, but twice the size of my NCS graduating class.

What do big and small mean?

Even then, it’s going to very kid-dependent, and likely to change by age. DC also only had 25 kids in their grade in their k-8 when they graduated (it went up and down a bit from 5th to 8th during the COVID years, but 25 in 8th). That was also fine, but would be far too small for HS.

There are tradeoffs. DD is at a very small school and while the girls in her class get along pretty well, the boys are terrible to each other.

The unicorn is big social group but small academic group, which is hard to find because of the staff required.

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the school and the kid. There are advantages and disadvantages to small schools, and what is a good fit for one kid is a bad fit for another.

Yes, this. I loved my small middle school and was overwhelmed by my large public high school experience. I got lost. But when looking at schools for DS, I felt a tiny environment with only a handful of potential friends wasn’t right for him.

Also keep in mind that some small schools are fantastic… others are small in part because they can’t get enough enrollment.

It depends on the kid and the kids at the school. For myself, I had tons of friends at my small elementary school. However in the small high school I went to I just didn't deeply click in. I ended up lightly a friend to everyone, but deeply not friends with everyone. My mom wrote it off as just high school where every clique goes through their thing, but I truly think it just wasn't my people. Today, I still have friends from every stage of life except high school and genuinely have no interest in a high school reunion, but would definitely be excited for another school's reunion to reconnect with the people I no longer talk to.

For my kid, I try to make sure he has friends in many different places and I just hosted the first social event for the new private school he starts in the fall. My goal wasn't to become like the social calendar queen you hear about on here, but rather get the social mix going so that my kid didn't feel like he was starting a school with no friends. So this summer I plan to try to get his to as many playground groups for his new school as possible while still including his daycare/preschool/extra curricular friends for things I plan. In my adult years, I have a group of friends who are extremely inclusive while also cultivating deep friendships 1:1. I hope to foster the same in my kid so when it comes time for me to step away, he has a large number of established friendships to continue to deepen as well as the understanding of how to make new friends. When you feel like you don't have friends is the time to lean in and put energy into organizing and fostering a group, it gives you the chance to know where you want to deepen.

My kids have always done best in larger school settings where there are lots of opportunities to meet new people. They have multiple friend groups, so all their eggs are never in one basket. I think this is very important.

I think tiny schools are risky and would not consider them for my child.

It depends on the school and the kid. There are advantages and disadvantages to small schools, and what is a good fit for one kid is a bad fit for another.

I think small classes are good, but small schools are mostly bad. You can have one without the other.

We are at a school smaller than we’d like (smaller than schools we went to growing up; only one class per grade), but have been pleasantly surprised. My kids both have a small tight-knit group of friends, and I know most of the families even if the kids aren’t best friends with their kids. Not a ton of opportunity for bullying, as you can nip it in the bud quickly. Love the small classes and knowing the principal knows my kids and me.

One the one hand it is a well known fact that smaller classrooms facilitate learning. On the other hand, it might be harder to make friends in a smaller school and that is an extremely important component of education (specially in terms of peer effects).

Which one do you prefer a small or a large school?