The sport isn't keeping her out of UVA
or WM. She should live her life

Does she do the sport for the college application or because she enjoys it? My kid did not have a good varsity coach and did not like him (I believe the dislike was mutual). However, she loved the sport and being with her teammates so she stuck around. She did have a conversation with him which at least made things clear, if not resolved them.

It may be hard for your young teen to talk to the coach, but could help if she does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Colleges don't care about sports unless you're a recruited athlete.

This. It doesn’t matter. She can put the sport on a line and say she played for 4 years either way. It doesn’t matter what combination of travel, club, rec or HS that 4 years is if she isn’t a recruited athlete.

Yep. My kids hated their HS coach and just did club after sophomore year. One is at an Ivy, the other a T20.

They don’t care if the activities are at the HS or outside of it.

I would not want to spend my high school years being miserable. It goes by so fast. Let her quit.

How big a jerk is the coach? Can she take up another sport during the season instead?

Colleges like to see kids are busy and involved.

Putting aside the jerky coach, does she like the rest of the teammates? Would she be enjoying it if not for jerky coach?

Even if you aren’t playing in college, there’s nothing like scoring goals in your home field and hearing (mostly) parents in the audience cheer for you. Nice to be recognized for all-division or all-county. nice to (eventually) be celebrated on senior night.

none of that really happens on a travel team.

Colleges don’t care if they play travel or school. It’s an activity either way. And college coaches care a lot more about travel than HS if the sport is something like soccer. I know you said she doesn’t plan to play college but kids do change their mind. Ask me how I know! DS had a good JV coach in 9th but was offered a spot on varsity in 10th with a bad coach. He suffered through 10th and 11th but it really ruined it as a HS sport for him. He decided not to play senior year. In retrospect, we wish he’d stopped sooner and just focused on travel. The downside is many travel teams take a break during HS season so they have nowhere to play.

Is any suburban high school coach not a jerk? It seems to be part of the job description.

If the kid has no interest in playing at the college level, there really needs to be a think. Which sucks. Because sports are great for all sorts of reasons. But the adults running it make it miserable and not worth the enormous time commitment for the vast majority of students.

As others have said playing a sport in high school is the biggest waste of time if you are trying for top colleges It offers nothing of value whatsoever to them. Colleges will look at the 15-20 hour a week athlete no differently than if they didn't play a sport. Look at who reads the application and all of the podcasts out there.

Your 15 hour a week commitment is like being in National Honor Society of babysitting for your neighbor on the weekends.

Anonymous wrote:Colleges don't care about sports unless you're a recruited athlete.

This. It doesn’t matter. She can put the sport on a line and say she played for 4 years either way. It doesn’t matter what combination of travel, club, rec or HS that 4 years is if she isn’t a recruited athlete.

Play the sport as long as she continues to enjoy it. If there is any college aspiration motivation, consider carefully if she is recruitable at particular target schools (very different criteria for Div 1 and Div 3 schools). If not, choose other ECs to boost college application.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9th grade is a tough age to make this decision, 11th would be easier. I say this for a few reasons but it really boils down to 1. being absolutely sure she doesn't want to do this in college and 2. the chances that there will be a different coach in place by the time she's a senior. If she is really 100% sure about #1 I would let her quit the HS team.

She is 100% sure she doesn’t want to play in college (it would really limit her options of where she could go) but she just wants to make sure she’s not hampering her application.

DC put Varsity/club sports (both captains) at #9 in her activity list. Nice to have but not super important.

Colleges don't care about sports unless you're a recruited athlete.

Anonymous wrote:9th grade is a tough age to make this decision, 11th would be easier. I say this for a few reasons but it really boils down to 1. being absolutely sure she doesn't want to do this in college and 2. the chances that there will be a different coach in place by the time she's a senior. If she is really 100% sure about #1 I would let her quit the HS team.

She is 100% sure she doesn’t want to play in college (it would really limit her options of where she could go) but she just wants to make sure she’s not hampering her application.

9th grade is a tough age to make this decision, 11th would be easier. I say this for a few reasons but it really boils down to 1. being absolutely sure she doesn't want to do this in college and 2. the chances that there will be a different coach in place by the time she's a senior. If she is really 100% sure about #1 I would let her quit the HS team.

DD plays a travel sport she enjoys. Not planning to play in college whatsoever but does enjoy it enough to stay through HS. Her travel team pauses during the HS season so the kids can play. Her HS is a jerk and she hasn’t enjoyed this year (9th grade.) Should she suck up the next 3 years just so she can say she played 4 years of this sport in HS? Does it look bad to only play travel and not a HS sport?

She does some volunteering and will eventually have a job, but this is her main extra curricular.

We are in VA and she would like to go to UVA or W&M. Older sibling had a (different) 4 year HS sport.

WDYT?