Anonymous wrote:Who IDENTIFIES the problem or need (for home or family member)?

Who COMMUNICATES the issue to the other family members)? What happens then? Problem solving and planning? Nothing?

Who takes the EFFORT to fix the problem or need (either DIY or manage a staff or repairers in or doctor)?

Who has the SENSE to fix things in an efficient and correct way (not make more mess or setbacks or guess/pretend to know what to do)?

Why are you YELLING at us?

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer and he's an engineer so we're both problem solvers so it depends on the problem at hand.

Also lawyer married to an engineer and same.

He'll make diagrams of the house to do layouts and loves to plan travel and anything that involves math.

I tend to handle personal issues (like when he and his sister were at odds after their mom died).

Who IDENTIFIES the problem or need (for home or family member)?

Who COMMUNICATES the issue to the other family members)? What happens then? Problem solving and planning? Nothing?

Who takes the EFFORT to fix the problem or need (either DIY or manage a staff or repairers in or doctor)?

Who has the SENSE to fix things in an efficient and correct way (not make more mess or setbacks or guess/pretend to know what to do)?

Anonymous wrote:Who is the main problem solver in your relationship? Does one person do more or is everything discussed together and a joint decision made?

Not the person which zero executive functioning skills, that’s for sure.

I'm a lawyer and he's an engineer so we're both problem solvers so it depends on the problem at hand.

Do you mean actual “problems” like “how do we get out of debt?” or do you mean how do we divy up household responsibilities?

Another it depends on the problem, but we do virtually all problem solving together. My wife tends to get overwhelmed by certain kinds of problems (especially logistical/timing problems) and I can usually handle those. I have stuff I'm bad at (social stuff especially), so I'll tag out when for those issues.

Depends on the problem.

But DH is the one really great competence and executive functioning, so usually him. Especially if it has to do with finance or cars. But there are some things where he feels lost and will literally say: "What do I do?" Really just depends on what it is. Some things are my domain -- the pets, certain logistics, travel.

Anonymous wrote:Who is the main problem solver in your relationship? Does one person do more or is everything discussed together and a joint decision made?

Depends on the kind of problem. All decisions are joint unless they're minor or emergencies, but DH is better at solving some kinds of things and I'm better at solving others. We've been together long enough that we know each other's strengths and usually don't have to discuss or debate who is on deck.

She creates problems. I solve them.

Im the main problem solver. My husband turns a little thing into a big deal, so I just tell him what and when to do it and he does it.

Definitely depends on the domain.

For better or for worse, I'm the primary problem noticer for anything to do with children and school and household. Husband doesn't notice very many problems but he's good at fixing the ones I point out about the house. And is very diligent about changing the air and water filters and smoke/CO alarms.

He's also better about solving car problems, though I'm on high alert whenever a light comes on and figure something should be done. He has some mental catalogue of "that one doesn't really matter" versus "that one means get attention immediately"and I haven't discerned the rationale.

It's pretty even

It has to be any and all of the above in a healthy relationship from time to time.

Who is the main problem solver in your relationship? Does one person do more or is everything discussed together and a joint decision made?